


In Deep or in Darkness

by Independence1776



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Canon characters from YW mentioned, Canon-Typical Violence, Family, Family Angst, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 58,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Independence1776/pseuds/Independence1776
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In Life's name and for Life's sake…"</p>
<p>Loki's Oath changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Art of Wizardry

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I need to acknowledge my thanks and my debt to Chordatesrock's "so dawn goes down to day," without which I would have never asked myself, "What would happen if Loki took the Oath at the usual age for Asgardians?"
> 
> Timeline-wise, this fic uses the New Millennium Editions, in large part because of the neat coincidence of the Pullulus War occurring in late April and early May 2010 and _Thor_ occurring in very late May and early June 2010. You do _not_ need to have read the NMEs; the timeline is the only thing of importance I used from them.
> 
> A chapter will be posted daily save for on Saturdays.
> 
> My thanks to LadyLunas for the beta.

“Time’s up.”  
  
Loki sighed and stared down at his tablet as the screen blanked as the tutor retrieved the test. He had three problems left and he wasn’t sure about half the answers he figured out on the previous ones. He put down the stylus and looked over at his brother, who appeared disgruntled. “You should have given us more time.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Prince Thor, but timed tests are timed for a reason. This doesn’t change simply because you are older and the problems more complex.” The redheaded man scrolled through his tablet and tapped the screen. The papers they’d written on one of the minor outbreaks of fighting on Vanaheim appeared on their respective screens.  
  
Loki didn’t bother to look at his, rather more interested in Thor’s reddening face. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Thor lifted his head and glared at Loki. “I’m sure that you know the  _correct_  answer to the question.”  
  
The tutor sighed and interrupted before Loki could wind his brother up further. “Loki correctly examined all facets of the problem and showed that there was little that could be done to prevent the fighting from occurring. You merely focused on describing the strategy and tactics of fighting the conflict itself. That was not what I asked of you, my prince.”  
  
Thor turned to glare at the tutor. “It’s what ended the matter. How is that not the most important thing?”  
  
Loki could tell, from the pinched brow, that their tutor was holding back a sigh. He’d been fighting this battle with Thor for years now. Loki said, “Sometimes, how it ends isn’t as important as why it began. If you know that, you can help prevent similar occurrences in the future.”  
  
Thor shook his head but before he could respond, the clock placed on a waist-high cabinet in the corner of the room chimed twice. The tutor said, “That’s it for the day, then. Prince Thor, read the next two chapters in your political theory book. Prince Loki, I need your paper on religion on Svartalfheim in the morning.”  
  
“Yes, sir,” he said. That had been done days ago. There wasn’t much information about Svartalfheim in the library. But he supposed the tutor knew that.  
  
Thor jerkily nodded his head, stuffed his tablet into his shoulder bag, and stood up, the wooden chair scrapping across the tile floor. The tutor winced but said nothing. He turned to tidy up the classroom as Loki stood, only now flicking through the comments the tutor had left on his paper.  
  
When he left the room, the door automatically closing behind him, he nearly dropped his tablet when he ran into his brother. “Thor! You can’t stop in front of doors like that!”  
  
His brother crossed his arms. “How do you  _do_  that? You’re ahead of me in mathematics and science and you understand politics. I’m older than you and it’s not fair.”  
  
Loki slipped his tablet into his bag and shrugged. “Studying magic, I suppose. I need to know how it fits around them and to do that, I need to know them. Also, I like knowing how and why people think like they do.”  
  
Thor shook his head. “But it doesn’t make sense half of the time. It seems as if would be easier to fight everything out.”  
  
“Then there would be no one left to farm. And armies need to eat.”  
  
“You’re right, they do.” Thor uncrossed his arms. “Are you coming to the training yard with me?”  
  
“I have an essay to research and write for Mother.”  
  
Thor snorted. “ _Another_  essay? Loki, you’re going to ruin your vision.”  
  
“I have to compare and contrast three different schools on how to create and maintain illusions and then do an in-depth study on my preferred method. Forgive me if I need to spend time in the library.”  
  
Thor placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “If you emerge from the depths of the stacks before supper, you know where to find me.”  
  
He walked off whistling, his mood better but not fully restored to his usual good cheer.  _That_ , Loki knew, would come about with trading blows on the training sands.  
  
Loki shook his head. He kept up with the requirements necessary for one of his rank and had even discovered a love for throwing knives in recent years, but he’d prefer to be in the library. There was so much to learn-- especially if he could sneak into the sections that his parents and the librarians felt he was too young for.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki walked into the library, dropped off two books at the circulation desk, and nearly ran into one of the visiting Alfen diplomats on his way around the holographic display of Yggdrasil and the Nine Realms placed in the center of the library. “Pardon me!”  
  
The redheaded Alf smiled at him. “No worries, your royal highness. I was not watching where I walked, either.”  
  
He moved out of Loki’s way and Loki half-turned to watch him walk out of the library, wondering what he was looking for in here. He shrugged to himself and decided to ask the man later. It was likely of no importance: the main room in the library was open for any guest  _and_  there was ordinary fiction to peruse in it. But there was no harm in indulging his curiosity later.  
  
He shifted his bag on his shoulder and hurried down the aisle leading to the metal door and the steps beyond it that allowed access to the rest of the library’s vast collection. He walked down to the third level and exited the plain stone staircase, weaving his way between bookcases until he reached his favored alcove, the one with that allowed afternoon sunlight in through diamond-pane windows to shine on the large table and cushioned bench seats. He sat down, spread his books out on the table, tapped his tablet awake, and sent his tutor the essay on Svartalfheim religion.  
  
He stared down at the tablet and then up at the dark wood bookcases filled with leather-bound books in front of him. He already had two disciplines ready to synthesize into the paper-- he’d already written the section about which he preferred-- but he didn’t have the third. It was likely a test of his research skills, as Mother had only offhandedly mentioned a few others. He rubbed his forehead and pulled the nearest book over to him to at least finish the compare and contrast section with the material he had at hand. It wouldn’t take him long.  
  
After another hour, he put down the stylus and stacked all of the books to one side. Time to stretch and he could just as easily do that while hunting for the third method in the section on illusions.  
  
He set a light ward so no one would bother his belongings and headed off into the stacks, running his fingers along some books he’d already read and some which he knew were too advanced for him but wanted to read regardless. But he wasn’t going to risk the consequences of overreaching his magic: he’d already faced nosebleeds and days of exhaustion but he would not risk death. Not when he knew he would eventually be able to read them without risking it.  
  
He sighed and turned the corner of the aisle to finally reach the section on theory of illusions. The shelf at eye level covered his preferred method, but he scanned the shelves around it, pulling books off at random to skim through them but always putting them back. None of them looked the slightest bit interesting. He ran his finger along the top of the row beneath the one he perused and the sudden dip of his finger brought him out of his scanning pattern.  
  
He frowned and pulled the short book off the shelf.  _The Art of Wizardry_. The gold leaf lettering shown against the black leather in the library’s dim light. He’d never seen the book before, but it looked new, which probably explained that. And he knew enough about wizardry to know that wizards could make illusions.  
  
He smirked. Wizardry  _was_  a form of magic, if only technically, and not one that he’d be able to use without being offered and accepting the Oath. The book prickled in his hands and he sighed. Mother would probably make him redo the entire essay if he used wizardry as his third. So he grabbed one of the other books and tucked both under his arm. Reading the former would just mean the essay would take a little longer than he’d thought. Or he could wait until he’d finished writing-- but he didn’t want to. There was so much about wizardry he didn’t know, and even if this book was likely about wizards using illusions in artworks, it would still be more interesting than another book pontificating about why its theory of illusion was superior to all others.  
  
But he did put  _The Art of Wizardry_  on the other side of his tablet when he reached his alcove and curled up with the other theory book. Better to write the essay first so he could read for pleasure without disappointing his mother.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
After supper and spending an hour working on his essay, Loki shut off the tablet. He’d spent enough time on it today; he could finish it tomorrow afternoon. He spun his chair around and stood up, heading over to the green couch placed underneath the windows.  _The Art of Wizardry_  lay on a cushion, waiting for him to open it, despite him not having completed his essay.  
  
Loki settled himself into a corner of the couch and pulled the book over to him. He ran his fingers over the soft leather cover and flipped open the cover, skipping the index and heading straight for the introduction.  
  
 _Wizardry on Asgard is not an unknown Art. It is respected as it is in all cultures where wizards can practice openly, for the battle to slow the heat death of the universe is never ending and always worth fighting. However, there are those who disagree about the respect wizards receive.  
  
For those chosen few who become wizards, the rewards of wizardry are great: to fight in the war against the Lone Power, to correct wrongs done, to keep the universe and everything in it alive for just that little while longer.  
  
There are dangers, of course. Each wizard must pass an Ordeal upon taking the Wizard’s Oath. Upon passing, wizards will be placed on errantry when they are needed. Often, errantry will put wizards in harm’s way and many wizards die of it. This is a risk that all wizards willingly accept; it is written in the Oath.  
  
Wizardry requires learning the Speech, the language that the All-tongue is closely descended from. The Speech allows a wizard to communicate with trees, animals, mechanical objects, and with all manners of being. Life exists even in places non-wizards would not expect. The Speech, of course, is also the language of wizardry: all spells are written in it and mastery of wizardry requires mastery of the Speech.  
  
This manual will help you learn it, and more besides, if you choose to take the Oath._  
  
Loki slammed the book shut, holding in at arm’s length and staring at it. He swallowed, once. No wonder he had never seen this book before: the Powers had placed it in the library specifically for him.  
  
He took a deep breath and reopened the manual.  
  
 _Think carefully before you decide you want to risk the dangers and the rewards. There is no shame if you choose not to: for choice is at the heart of the universe. Wizardry does not live in the unwilling heart. But if you choose to swear the Oath, you will be one who fights in the front lines of battle-- and you will be welcomed wholeheartedly._  
  
Loki flipped the page, hardly daring to breathe. There on the next page was the Wizard’s Oath in simple black text on white paper, set alone on the page.  
  
He stared at the words, nervousness and elation twirling in his stomach. Did he want to do this? Did he want to fight in the battle against the Lone One? Would he be willing to give up his life if needed? Did he want to prove that he could be more than the prince second in line for the throne, one who never seemed to measure up to what most of court wanted from him?  
  
Yes, to all of it.  
  
Loki took a deep breath. “I swear in Life’s Name and for Life’s Sake that I will use the Art solely in service to that Life. I will fight in the battle to guard growth and ease pain. Despite that battle, I will take no life without need. I will fight to preserve life in its varied forms. Nor will I change that life unnecessarily: only when its growth or that of its system are threatened, or if they threaten another. In the practice of my Art, I will put aside fear for courage and death for life, when it is fitting to do so-- until Universe’s end.”  
  
The room echoed him slightly and a chill went down Loki’s spine. He stared at the Oath another minute and then gently shut the book and placed it on top of the pile of unread books on his end table. Tomorrow he would look through it. Tonight he needed to consider the magnitude of his actions-- and how he would inform his parents.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
The next morning, in the hour before luncheon, Loki knocked on his mother’s workroom door. She bid him enter and greeted him with a smile. “How is your essay coming along?”  
  
Loki closed the door and toed off his shoes, padding across the carpeted floor in socks. “I should finish writing it this afternoon, but I’ll need more time to edit it, of course.”  
  
“Then what is the pensive look for?”  
  
Frigga patted the bench next to her and Loki sat down. “What do you know about the Speech?”  
  
Her eyebrows lifted slightly. “Ah. I wondered if you’d stumble across any reference books on wizarding illusions.” She sighed. “It is not an offense to not be offered wizardry. Many worthy people are not and the Powers keep their secrets as to why that is. As for the Speech-- if you wish to learn it, I don’t think it would be terribly difficult. Non-wizards use it for interspecies relations, though we in the Nine Realms prefer the All-tongue.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Lying is impossible in the Speech and what else is diplomacy but carefully concealing truths?”  
  
Loki snorted. “Gaining the upper hand so your people don’t suffer unduly? The art of manipulating people to do what you want them to? But there has to be some trust that truths are told or agreements would break constantly. Look at Father’s truce with Jotunheim-- it’s held for over six hundred years.”  
  
“But how much of that is due to the Jotuns being unable to travel?”  
  
“I don’t know; I’ve never been there.”  
  
Frigga wrapped an arm around his shoulder and squeezed him. “And you have no reason to go.”  
  
“I’m still curious, though. We don’t have many books about them.” Maybe his manual would have more information.  
  
“You’re curious about everything, Loki. Maybe you need to direct it a bit more-- toward your illusions, perhaps?”  
  
Loki smiled. “One of these days, I’ll be able to fool you.”  
  
“Yes, you will-- and I look forward to it. Now, I need to finish this tapestry before luncheon. I’ll see you later this afternoon, dear.”  
  
Loki put his shoes back on and left her workroom. He trailed a hand against the cool metal walls. He’d had an opportunity then to tell Mother that he  _was_  a wizard, but it had slipped through his grasp. But there would be others; he’d been a wizard for less than a day.  
  
He stumbled a bit that and sat down on a nearby bench overlooking one of the rivers leading to the great edge ocean. What would his Ordeal consist of? What would he be called to do? He didn’t know  _anything_  about Ordeals save that they were dangerous-- and his manual was in his room so he couldn’t look it up in any depth before luncheon.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Between one thing and another, he didn’t have the time to look it up at all until late evening. And even then, his manual was of little help. It said merely that each Ordeal was personal.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. If the Powers didn’t want to give him details, then why tantalize him with hints? Given that wizardry worked on belief, maybe They didn’t want him to contaminate it with how he thought it should go. Or maybe the test included him walking blindly into it.  
  
That… seemed the most likely option. Wizardry was about helping the universe and that trusting that the Powers knew what They were doing even if They never told him the reasons. And if They wanted to test his commitment to the Oath he had sworn by not giving him information, then he would simply have to handle that and work out what to do on his own.  
  
He flipped to the directory, stared down at his entry on the page (still listed as Probationary) and then went to the section on the categories of spells. That at least was basic information he’d need no matter what happened.  
  
He fell asleep on his couch reading and woke up at midnight with a crick in his neck. He groaned, shoved the book off his lap onto the cushion next to him, and rubbed his neck before standing and getting ready for bed. Too many nights like this one and he’d be useless for everything: his training master would hound him out of the ring, which Thor would never ignore; he’d disappoint Father by not being at his best when there were diplomatic guests in Asgard actively working (rather than the usual day-to-day dealings with the embassies); and Mother would not work with him on magic unless he could stay awake without relying on tea or another stimulant.  
  
He woke up only slightly rested the next morning and cursed that he had to spend all morning in the training ring. He could have used the time to sleep. He slid out of bed, stumbled into his bathing room, and got ready for the day. He peered at his chin in the mirror, but as usual, there was still no need to shave. He kicked the door frame on his way out. Something else Thor would lord over him: at least this was harmless but annoying.  
  
When he walked by the couch, he looked at his manual and picked it up to place on his desk. If he was facing his Ordeal, he needed to stop treating it like pleasure reading and actually study it. Even if it meant sacrificing his magic lessons with Mother.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki pushed open the knotwork-carved wooden doors of the royal family’s breakfast room. Thor was already discussing something with Odin, the former waving his fork full of sausage around in the air to emphasize his point. Frigga looked up from reading something on her tablet and gave him a soft smile. “Good morning, Loki.”  
  
“Good morning, Mother, Father,” Loki said as he walked over to the buffet. He choose a plate of scrambled eggs, a slice of bacon, and a pile of fresh fruit. He sat down at his normal place across from Odin. “Thor, chew with your mouth closed.”  
  
His brother gave him a look, but shut his mouth. Frigga asked, “Did you sleep well?”  
  
He glanced at Odin before picking up his fork and stabbing a melon square. “Not as well as I could have.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
Loki sighed. “I stayed up late reading and fell asleep on my couch.”  
  
“Loki, we have talked about this--”  
  
“I know, Father. I try not to, but this was important.” There.  
  
“I’m sure it wasn’t as important as making sure you’re well rested for the feast tonight.”  
  
Loki bit his tongue and took a deep breath. “I was reading my wizard’s manual.”  
  
Thor dropped his fork with a clatter on his porcelain plate and Frigga’s face lit up. “That’s wonderful! You knew yesterday; that’s why you asked--”  
  
“You’re a  _what_?”  
  
Loki met Odin’s eye. “I swore the Wizard’s Oath two nights ago. I am listed in the manual as a probationary wizard. I will shortly be undergoing my Ordeal.”  
  
Odin’s mouth worked. “I never imagined that you would be offered this. Loki, becoming a wizard places the  _universe_  above your duty to Asgard. You are second in line for the throne! It is a betrayal of everything--”  
  
Loki stood up and put his hands flat on the table. “It is  _not_. You raised us to protect Asgard and the Nine Realms and what better way to do that than by actively fighting the Lone Power?” He gestured at Thor. “Everyone knows he will be king. And this is what I want to do. It is no less of a service.”  
  
Odin stood up. “If you do not renounce your Oath-- and I know full well you are able to-- then you will no longer be in the line of succession. I cannot have a possible successor who would leave Asgard on a moment’s notice if his duty as a wizard called him elsewhere.”  
  
“Fine.” Loki stormed out of the room, ignoring Mother calling after him. Thor had done nothing but stare at him. Once the door slammed shut, Loki rubbed his face. That had not gone as he had expected.  
  
He returned to his room, summoned a servant to bring him a plate of toast and boysenberry jam, and sat down at his desk to look at his manual. He had a little while before he had to leave for training. The book flipped open to the directory. Loki froze when he saw the new listing underneath his name: On Ordeal.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki kept his mind on the target, hitting it more often than not and using his magic to retrieve the knife after every throw. His instructor Ari came over to him after the fifth off-center throw. “Loki, what’s wrong?”  
  
Loki kicked the sand and threw the knife at the target again, this time hitting dead center. “Nothing I can’t handle.”  
  
“Then keep watching where you aim. If you master controlling your anger now, you’ll have an advantage on the battlefield.”  
  
Not that he was likely to see one, not with Odin’s fury. “Yes, sir.”  
  
He kept his focus for the rest of the time on the field-- and then his anger flared again when he spotted Thor leaning against a column. “What do you want?”  
  
Thor huffed. “To talk, brother. I’m not upset at you. I just thought--”  
  
“Not here.” Loki marched up to the royal wing with Thor at his heals. Once they were safely ensconced in the privacy of Loki’s chambers, Loki put his knife on the table where he kept the rest of his weapons and glared at Thor. “What were you going to tell me?”  
  
“That I’m happy for you. It’s an honor, Loki. Father knows that.”  
  
“Father thinks I’ve betrayed my responsibilities to Asgard. If we were any other family, I know he’d be happy. But we aren’t and he isn’t.”  
  
“It was a shock, Loki. He’ll change his mind.”  
  
“Have you ever known him to?”  
  
Thor shifted his weight. “At times, when doing so is the wiser course of action.”  
  
Loki moved into his main chamber. “And what do you think?”  
  
“I think both of you are right-- but I also know that you would make a good king even if you are a wizard.”  
  
Loki thinned his lips. Even if. “ _Even if_. You’re more on his side than you realize.”  
  
“Loki…”  
  
“Just go, Thor.”  
  
Loki didn’t turn around to watch him leave, but he heard Thor walk out of the room and close the door behind him. Loki sank down onto his couch and glared at his manual. “You said wizards were respected on Asgard. Why didn’t you mention that the All-father thinks of us as little better than traitors? Or maybe it’s just me.”  
  
He leaned back with a sigh, tilting his head up and staring at the stone ceiling. The problem was that he could see the validity in his father’s opinion. Maybe that was why he was a wizard: it sounded like communication and diplomacy were just as important, if not more so, than the actual spells. And he was learning to become an effective negotiator, far more than Thor was.  
  
That was why it hurt to hear he’d no longer be in the line of succession: he’d never stopped hoping Odin would choose him to be king instead. And he’d set the last nail in the funeral boat of that hope himself.  
  
He sighed and stood up. He needed to bathe before luncheon-- but there was enough time for him to have a long soak: and time enough to read more in his manual.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
When Loki knocked on the door and slipped into Frigga’s workroom for his magic lesson, she stood up and hugged him. “Oh, Loki, I’m so proud of you.”  
  
“I--”  
  
“Don’t apologize. I assumed you’d. It’s my fault for you not finding the opportunity to tell me yesterday. Please forgive me?”  
  
“Of course, Mother.”  
  
They sat down on one of the cushioned benches lining the walls. Loki looked at his hand and then up at her face. “Father… Do you think he’ll ever be proud of me?”  
  
She placed a hand on his cheek. “Oh, Loki. He’s proud of you now. He knows how rare wizardry is and how precious. But you upset his hopes for you.”  
  
Loki snorted. “The ones where I counseled Thor to no avail? The ones where I’m the scapegoat of everything going wrong in the palace simply because I like mischief? The ones where peers laugh at me because I’m spending more time learning magic than learning all of the weapons I possibly could?”  
  
“No, Loki. The one where you became a respected advisor to the throne and Asgard’s ambassador to the Nine Realms.”  
  
Loki shook his head. “How does being a wizard mean I’m incapable of doing that?”  
  
Frigga sighed. “Wizards rarely lie, Loki.”  
  
He blinked. His manual had mentioned that it was impossible to lie in the Speech. But to not lie at all? Impossible on the face of it. But wizardry relied on the truth… He would need to think on this later. “And negotiations can rely on falsehoods being believed.” He shook his head. “But that’s not all they are. And that’s not all ambassadors do.”  
  
“He’ll come to see it as an advantage in time, Loki.”  
  
“Not that it will make much of a difference. If I’m removed from the line of succession, then court has no reason to listen to me.”  
  
Frigga straightened. “You won’t be removed. I will not allow that to happen. Being a wizard is not a disqualification and I will  _not_ allow court to think otherwise.” She sighed. “Not that anyone outside of our family knows.”  
  
“Heimdall.”  
  
“He has no reason to not keep this quiet until we wish it known.”  
  
“Mother, I’m on Ordeal. It may not be possible to keep it secret even if I wished to.”  
  
She sat back. “You… want it known?”  
  
Loki took a deep breath. “If I pass my Ordeal, yes, I do. If I am to start being more honest, then I will not keep this a secret.”  
  
Frigga embraced him. “You are growing into a fine young man, Loki.” She released him. “How did your manual come to you?”  
  
“I found it in the library.” He pulled the book out of his bag and handed it to her. “I don’t think you’ll be able to see it for it what it really is.”  
  
She glanced at the title and flipped through the pages. “I see very little. Only the introduction and the index is written in the All-tongue.” She handed it back to him. “Which simply means that this is your book, Loki.”  
  
He smiled and slipped it back into his bag. “I know. They can’t be stolen or lost or misplaced-- and you need to be a wizard to read them.”  
  
“I believe it is a security issue.”  
  
Loki nodded. “It is. Not simply against the Lone One, but against those who could conceivably use the information to cause harm.”  
  
“The same reason we keep some information classified. It’s nothing strange to me.” She kissed his forehead. “That you will learn things I have not: I have always hoped you would find your own way out from under the shadows your father and brother cast. You’re doing that, Loki, by your own choices. And those choices are something you should be proud of.”  
  
Loki smiled. “I am, despite the trouble they have caused.”  
  
“Good. Now, I think it is time both of us prepare for the feast.”  
  
He nodded and stood up. “Thank you, Mother.”  
  
She smiled. “You’re my son, Loki. I could do no less.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki stared down from his seat at the high table at the carousing guests, many of them already in their cups even though the feast was only half over. He sighed and leaned forward to look at the diplomats seated on the far side of the table. They were seated with members of Odin’s council and he could not help but wonder what the diplomats had heard about him from the councilors.  
  
At least Thor was behaving himself. But then, tensions in their family were already running high and he likely didn’t want to bring Mother’s wrath down on himself. Besides, the head diplomat had brought along his elder daughter and Thor had not taken his eyes off her the entire meal.  
  
Loki stabbed a piece of broccoli stem with his fork. He’d have skipped the feast if he could have. He hated being in the center of attention when most would compare him with Thor: Thor who had gone through the worst of his growth spurts and was bulking up nicely-- the image of a proper Asgardian. Loki was still well aware that he looked like a child and too many treated him like one because of it.  
  
He took a deep breath and ate the broccoli. If he behaved petulantly, it would give them one more reason to think that. And it would make it harder on him when the truth about him being a wizard was told: he knew people would wonder if he even deserved the honor. He would not give them more ammunition.  
  
After the feast ended, servants swiftly moved in to move many of the tables to the wall so there would be space for dancing. When the music began, Loki stayed near the walls, watching the men in their metallic tunics and women in their long dresses spinning around.  
  
Sif came over to him with a wry expression on her face. “I suppose that we had better dance soon enough. I rather doubt Thor will think of me when he’s preoccupied.”  
  
Loki snorted. “At least he won’t do more than mere infatuation. As they’re leaving in two days, the distance will work well enough to calm him.”  
  
Sif raised an eyebrow. “The time is coming when he’ll do more than stare. At least she doesn’t seem to mind the attention.”  
  
“Why would she? She’s attractive and knows it. And knows better than to refuse the attentions of the eldest prince of Asgard.”  
  
Sif turned fully to look at him. “You sound bitter.”  
  
Loki shrugged and sipped from his cup of watered wine. “When it seems as if it’s all but sworn that Thor will ascend to the throne? I know how people talk about me, Sif. I hear them sometimes.”  
  
“Maybe if you acted more… normal.”  
  
Loki bit back laughter. “Like you do?”  
  
Sif twitched her dress. “Point scored. Maybe if you made more of an effort on the training grounds? Proving that you’ll at least be able to hold your own in battle might help.”  
  
“When Thor has had decades more experience than and excels at almost every weapon he tries? I’m better at the staff and the svärdstav than swords, axes, and hammers-- and now I’m learning throwing knives. None of that--”  
  
“Odin has Gungnir.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “I don’t think that matters. How much of what he does is excused because he is the All-father?” He shook his head. “I know I’m different, Sif. At this point, I’m going to stop denying it. I need to work within my own strengths.”  
  
Sif gave him a strange look and drained her goblet, putting it on the table behind them. “Then prove your strength in dancing to me.”  
  
“Certainly, my lady.” He quirked a smile and escorted her onto the dance floor.  
  
When the music stopped at the end of the song so the musicians could switch places, they left the dance floor. Sif headed over to a group of noblewomen her age and Loki stopped long enough to grab a goblet of water before weaving through the crowd to step onto the balcony.  
  
He leaned against the railing, sipping his water, and let the bustle of the crowd and sound of music fade into unintelligibility. He looked up at the stars. What kind of life was out there? What would he see? What would he do?  
  
When a boot scuffed on the stone, Loki turned slightly to see the diplomat he’d nearly run into in the far corner of the balcony, likewise leaning on the railing with a goblet in his hand. Loki straightened and went over to him. “Good evening.”  
  
The redheaded man smiled. “Good evening, Prince Loki. How are you doing?”  
  
“Well. Yourself? Did you find what you were looking for in the library?”  
  
“I did! It’s not much, I suppose, but there’s this author here whose books are banned on Alfheim. I like reading her when I visit; there’s usually one or two more books in the series.”  
  
Loki tilted his head. He’d never considered that books written on Asgard would be banned elsewhere. “What author?”  
  
“Ah. I… I believe her books are more appropriate for an adult audience, your royal highness.”  
  
That nonsense again. Odin had given him the talk about how not to sire bastards a while ago. He knew full well what sex was. “I believe that should be for me to decide.”  
  
“Of course, your royal highness. The author is Alví Laugudottir.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
The Alf stared awkwardly for a moment before blurting, “Forgive me for asking, but are you sure you are doing well?”  
  
Loki sighed and bit back his temper. “I am well.”  
  
“Tensions at table seemed… fraught.”  
  
Loki said, “It is a family matter between the All-father and myself. It does not affect the diplomatic proceedings and thus is none of your concern.”  
  
“I just… An outside eye can be useful. And I have a son your age at home. I may be able to explain why your father…”  
  
“I doubt it. I did something he disapproved of. That is all.”  
  
“Ah. Can you not stop doing whatever it is?”  
  
Loki stared at the man. “This conversation is done.”  
  
He walked away, back into the hall, his temper nearly at the point where he’d be tempted to join Thor in upending tables if he thought it would help. What sort of man-- no, what of  _diplomat_  would dare to question him like that? Had he really thought gaining Loki’s confidence would be that easy?  
  
He slammed the goblet down onto a table collecting empty ones and went to find the head diplomat and one of his parents to make his excuses and also to warn his parents about the overly curious diplomat. He did not want to be in this room a moment longer.  
  
He took the long way back to the royal wing, wandering through one of the gardens to let the peaceful night calm him. It did not entirely work, so he made his way back to his chambers and curled up on the comfortable seat on his balcony, his manual unopened in his lap.  
  
He didn’t want to let the diplomat’s words in-- but they had already sunk hooks into his mind. What would happen if he gave up wizardry?  
  
He would remain in the line of succession.  
  
Father would be pleased.  
  
Father would also think him less for breaking an oath-- but he would not be surprised Loki had done it given the other promises he’d broken.  
  
Mother… would not fully understand.  
  
Thor would likely be relieved nothing would change.  
  
The court would never know that Odin considered him to have betrayed Asgard.  
  
And what would he do?  
  
He’d know he’d have set the heat death of the universe forward just that little bit. He’d broken an oath he’d meant and wanted to swear. He’d know the Powers would be disappointed, though they’d never let him know that. And most of all: there would be so much knowledge that he could learn that would be forever out of his reach.  
  
Loki looked down at his manual and traced a finger along the title. He wanted to fight the Lone One. He wanted to slow the heat death of the universe. And that meant keeping his wizardry, no matter how disappointed Odin would be.  
  
Loki felt a sense of peace steal over him now that his decision had been made.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
The next morning, after a breakfast taken in his chambers, Loki knocked on the door to Odin’s study. “Enter.”  
  
Loki pushed open the door and shoved it closed behind him. He walked to stand directly in front of Odin’s massive desk. His father looked up from the paperwork and speared him with his gaze. “What is it, Loki?”  
  
Loki took a deep breath. “I will remain a wizard.”  
  
Odin leaned back in his chair, his expression changing from annoyance to concern. “It is a hard life, Loki.”  
  
“And being king is easy?”  
  
Odin half-smiled and then sobered. “Your mother convinced me not to remove you from the line of succession officially. Unofficially, however? You will not be allowed to sit on the throne.”  
  
Loki took a deep breath, not letting the sick feeling inside of him to gain precedence. “Who will know of this unofficial arrangement?”  
  
“Just our family and Heimdall. I will not risk you being harmed, Loki. Removing you officially would do that.”  
  
“Yet you were considering doing so.”  
  
“Your mother knocked sense into me, son. That was one of the reasons why.” He sighed. “I also talked to the Planetary Wizard. She assured me that as long as you are under the age of majority and living in my household that the Powers That Be would respect my wishes regarding you being placed on errantry outside of the Nine Realms: namely, that you not be.”  
  
Loki nodded. “And if errantry requires me to leave the Realms regardless?”  
  
Odin sighed and rubbed his forehead just above his eye patch. “Then you will leave. This abrogation of my authority over you is one of the reasons I feel you have betrayed Asgard: you no longer answer directly to me.”  
  
“As long as your orders do not conflict--” Loki stopped. Yes, he saw Odin’s point. “Father, I want to be a wizard. If I give this up…” He took a deep breath. “I will behave as I ought to as an Odinson. Being a wizard does not change my loyalty to Asgard. It has been and always will be my home. Nothing will change that.”  
  
“I am glad to hear that, my son. But you answer to other Powers now.” He stood up and walked around the desk. He stood awkwardly for a moment before resting a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “It is not only your loyalty I fear for. I fear that I will lose  _you_ , Loki. It is the part of a father to be concerned for the well-being of his son.”  
  
“Thank you, Father.” He could point out that Odin could just as easily lose Thor on the battlefield, but now was not the time. “I will leave you to your work.”  
  
Odin squeezed his shoulder and released Loki. “Go well, son.”  
  
Loki bowed slightly and left the room. When the door closed, he leaned against it and let out a breath. Now to return to his room to grab his weapons for morning practice.  
  
But when he entered his chambers, his manual lay open on his desk. He frowned and walked over to it. None of the servants had been in to clean; it was too early for them to arrive. So who had been in here and what were they hoping to find?  
  
When he peered at the open page, his mouth dropped open. It had not been open to the Oath as he’d half-feared, but to the directory: where he was now listed as a journeyman wizard. His Ordeal had been completed.  
  
He sank down into his chair. But he hadn't  _done_  anything: he hadn’t gone off-world. He hadn’t fought the Lone Power. Instead, he’d decided to keep his Oath in the face of near-universal disapproval. Even the Alfen diplomat had advised him to stop doing whatever his father disliked.  
  
A chill went down his spine. A diplomat-- or the Lone One? He would likely never know.  
  
But if that was all that was required for Ordeals, why had his manual mentioned how dangerous they were? He rubbed his forehead and resolved to seek out this Planetary Wizard his father had mentioned. Maybe she would have an answer. But until then…  
  
Loki snapped the book shut. He could not spend all day thinking in circles. He grabbed his throwing knife and left his chambers.


	2. Preliminary Excursions

Loki crept down the servants’ hall, underneath the best illusion of one he could manage. He managed to make it out of the palace without getting caught. Once free of the gate, he dropped the illusion and walked down the street, his hair loose around his face for once rather than slicked back as he’d begun to wear it a few decades ago. Maybe it would help keep him from being recognized, as would the older style of clothes he wore.  
  
He kept himself from looking around too curiously at his surroundings. He’d not been allowed out of the palace unsupervised before and with guards meant that people knew who he was and limited where he was able to go. Now he had more anonymity and complete freedom.  
  
At least for the time that either people noticed he was gone or Heimdall informed someone that he was missing. It probably wouldn’t take long. Hopefully they wouldn’t catch him before he left the middle class neighborhood he needed to reach.  
  
He dodged around a fruit seller and turned left onto the cross-street he needed. This street was less crowded and had the public transportation line he needed. He fingered the coins in his pocket and hoped he didn’t make a fool of himself. He’d looked up how to use public transport on the public access network last night, but he still didn’t know exactly how much he would stand out.  
  
But he joined the group standing in front of the stop and when the carriage arrived, he moved forward with a couple of other people. He made sure to watch how they dealt with the coins and copied their actions exactly. He took a seat near the rear of the carriage and looked out the window as the vehicle moved forward.  
  
This way of traveling Asgard was more familiar-- though he normally saw it from the back of a horse. And he was going into areas of the city he normally never saw and wasn’t sure he was allowed in. At the very least, he’d be able to use that argument: he’d never explicitly been forbidden. But that was splitting hairs and coming dangerously close to lying.  
  
His manual had been explicit about how bad of an idea lying was for wizards. It was something he’d have to become used to, a defense he’d suddenly had removed.  
  
He clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into his palms. He hadn’t realized exactly how much he’d relied on it-- not to Odin, not to Thor, not to Mother, and most certainly not to himself. And facing that meant facing how much exactly he’d been forced to learn it and why.  
  
That was something he was not ready to do, not when he still didn’t have answers as to whether he had to give up his birth magic, if there were teachers to help him (he suspected not, given the organizational structure outlined in the manual), and what exactly could he do to help Odin understand exactly how much wizardry meant to him even though he’d been a wizard for less than a week.  
  
Which was why he’d snuck out of the palace.  
  
When the carriage reached his stop, Loki exited. He took a deep breath and walked down the side street. This area of Asgard was less styled, less golden, and more pragmatic than the area around the palace: this was not an area visitors normally saw. And thus it did not need to reflect as entirely Asgard’s golden image among the Realms.  
  
Loki smelled the cafe-bakery before he reached it: the scent of sweets and baked goods wafted out from the building with the large window just up the street. He smiled and glanced in the window as he walked by it to reach the door. It was moderately busy, but there were still plenty of tables and a multitude of baked goods on the shelves in the cases.  
  
The bells above the wooden door chimed when Loki pushed it open. The stout woman with her lightly graying brown hair pulled into a bun looked up with a smile. “Welcome to the Knotwork Cafe.”  
  
Loki nodded and stepped up to the counter to look at the baked goods. There were the normal desserts he was used to: cookies, scones, slices of cakes, pies, muffins with various things in them. But there were odder foods: blue things, green things, one purple pastry, and things that were normal-colored but were oddly shaped. “What would you recommend?”  
  
She smiled at him. “That depends on what you’re in the mood for. The blueberry scones are always made with fresh berries, but I’m not sure exactly what your tastes are.”  
  
Loki stared at the display cases. “I’ll have a fyrstekake.”  
  
She nodded and said, “Is there anything else you need?”  
  
Loki looked up at her and said in the Speech, “Advice.”  
  
“Ah. When you finish eating, I’ll be in my office.”  
  
She handed him a plate with the fyrstekake on it, along with a fork. He handed over his money and retreated to a table in the corner.  
  
A couple of people slightly older than him looked up as he passed, but went back to their conversation. Loki pulled out the wooden chair and sat down. He kept glancing at the half-wall next to him. It had a planter filled with plants hanging over the side. But as far as he could tell, it was empty on the other side. So why delineate the space?  
  
He took a bite of the pastry and raised his eyebrows. He had expected the almond, but not the cinnamon. He savored every bite.  
  
When he finished, he put the fork down, took several deep breaths, and stood up. He put the plate in the area labeled for dishes and met the woman’s eyes. She leaned over to the man helping her and said, “I’ll be in my office.”  
  
She walked out behind the counter and gestured to Loki. “This way.”  
  
Loki glanced to his right as he walked by the space he’d wondered about. Empty, as he’d suspected, with the wizard’s knot set as in the floor as decorative tile. She led him through a door and down a short hallway to an office in the back of the building.  
  
It was cluttered, but clearly organized is some fashion. He closed the door behind himself and sat down in the chair she gestured at. “I wondered how long it would take for you to come here, your royal highness.”  
  
“I beg your pardon?”  
  
“You seem the kind of person who wants to know everything. With that attitude, it does not surprise me that you sought me out after your Ordeal.” She leaned forward. “What do you need advice about?”  
  
Loki studied her, not quite sure what to think. She was not how he expected her to be: brusque but not unkind. “How to deal with my father, for one.”  
  
She sighed. “Odin is… hardheaded. His views of wizardry have not changed. You will find that he is not the only person on Asgard to consider wizards to be the next best thing to traitors. For it is true: we  _do_  prioritize the universe above the good of one Realm. If we are required to leave Asgard, we will, no matter what we may have to do here. The Powers try to not give us assignments that conflict with our duties, but sometimes, we are what is needed for the solution. Sometimes, for reasons unknown to us, we are the only people available. And that is true for the Oath as well. You are the solution to a problem, Loki.”  
  
“I already had my Ordeal. It didn’t amount to much.”  
  
“Didn’t it?”  
  
Loki leaned back in the chair. He had defied his father and had not changed his mind in the fact of Odin’s disapproval. Before, it would have been almost certain he would. But wizardry had represented too much to him to give up simply to make his father happy. He had learned that he did not require his father’s approval for everything in his life and that the world did not end if he did not have it.  
  
Loki stared at her. “It’s that simple? One of the hardest decisions of my life boiled down--” He stopped. And Ordeal it was. Making the decision to keep his wizardry had not been easy. But he knew that if he had not been offered wizardry, he have continued being afraid of utterly disappointing Odin, of proving that Thor was and always would be the better son. Now that he knew what it was like, was it truly as bad as he’d feared?  
  
Yes.  
  
But it was something he knew he could and would survive. He sighed. “You did not answer my question about help for dealing with the All-father.”  
  
“I cannot give you specifics, Loki. He is both king and father and I only know him in the former role. Family matters are different. All I can tell you to be honest and try your best to communicate with him. I know it will be hard, and even fruitless at times, but it will help in the end. I hope that he will come to respect your decision, though I do not believe he will ever understand it.”  
  
Loki nodded. He rather doubted the respect would happen. “Another question: am I allowed to continue practicing my birth magic?”  
  
Her eyebrows raised. “Of course! There is nothing about wizardry that says you cannot. And I assume from your question that there is nothing in your other practice that precludes wizardry. However, you are subject to the Oath no matter what form of magic you practice.”  
  
“I understand. Are there instructors for wizardry or is it self-taught?”  
  
“There will always be people you can talk to. But there is no formalized system of instruction. If you end up specializing in something, a mentor can be arranged. But for now, the best thing you can do is read widely in the manual. You will learn what interests you soon enough.”  
  
Loki nodded. That was in line with his suspicions. Wizardry seemed to be about choice above all else. “Thank you.”  
  
“You are very welcome, Loki. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”  
  
Loki picked at his left hand. He didn’t know how to phrase it without sounding desperate. He finally said, “So far, wizardry has been a lonely experience. Is it always so?”  
  
“Hardly. Many wizards practice alone, yes, but there’s a large community of us here. Peers your age tend to congregate here. Bengeirr Halmason is usually around a few times a week, and he enjoys talking with new wizards. If you aren’t able to sneak away again, there’s always using the manual’s communicative functions: there’s private messages that are not subject to the security monitoring you’d otherwise deal with and there are multi-person message sections for conversation.” She grabbed a book from her desk and flipped through it. “There is also a short-range teleportation spell that you should learn. The coordinates for the cafe’s landing spot should be in your manual.”  
  
“The empty space with the tile knot?”  
  
“Precisely. I suspect you’ll still have to sneak out of the palace to avoid the anti-teleportation wards, but it will be faster than having to take public transit here.”  
  
“I thought wizards were supposed to?”  
  
“In general, yes. But there are always situations where other methods are preferable. You’ll soon learn that there are no rules in wizardry, apart from not breaking the Oath. Everything is situational.”  
  
“Choice.”  
  
She nodded. “It drives everything, Loki. We even hope that one day the Lone Power will choose to be redeemed.”  
  
That… was something he couldn’t wrap his mind around at the moment. “Is it usual for Him to not show up at someone’s Ordeal?”  
  
“Did you receive a note or some other form of communication that He was not attending?” Loki shook his head. “Then He was there: maybe not in overt form, but He was present.”  
  
“How often will I be on errantry?”  
  
“That I cannot tell you. It varies person by person. The Powers try not to affect your life unduly, but they cannot ignore you until it is convenient for you. But younger wizards are the most powerful, so I assume you will be busier than Odin cares for.” She smiled. “You will find a balance in time. And don’t forget to enlist the support of others if you can.”  
  
Mother. She understood as much as it was possible for her to do. And he knew that she supported his decision. “Thank you, ma’am.”  
  
“You are welcome.”  
  
Loki stood up and walked out of her office. Once back in the cafe, he smiled at a group of peers and flipped through his manual trying to find the teleportation spell. He read it through several times, found the coordinates closest to the palace, and walked into the area. He slowly read the spell and appeared with a bang in a short alley. He walked around the corner and nearly ran into a pair of guards coming to investigate the noise.  
  
He stopped walking when one of them held out a hand. The other walked into the blind alley and then turned around. The one in front of him said, “What did you do?”  
  
Loki licked his lips. “I teleported.”  
  
“Right. Back to the palace with you, your royal highness. You’ve caused rather an uproar.”  
  
Of course he had. And there was little he hated worse than being publicly humiliated. Being led by guards through the streets was just that. They handed him over to the Einherjar at the palace gate, both of whom exchanged exasperated glances but did not ask Loki why he’d snuck away. He wouldn’t have answered them.  
  
They led him to Odin’s office and left him there. Loki sat down on one of the benches outside and waited. Knowing his father’s schedule, he would either be waiting for a while so Odin could take care of more important things than punishing his wayward child or Loki would be brought in soon so he could get on with his tasks.  
  
As it turned out, he sat there for two hours. By the end of the first half hour, he’d pulled out his manual and started working on memorizing pronunciations of Speech syllables again and practising writing with his finger the symbols. By the end of the second hour, he’d grown bored with that and went back to reading about psychotropic spells.  
  
Finally, his father’s aide gestured to him and Loki put his manual away. The door to Odin’s office swung open and Loki entered. The door shut with its usual thud, which he was trying not to interpret ominously. Odin glared at him from his desk. “Where were you?”  
  
“The Knotwork Cafe.”  
  
Odin’s eyebrows rose. “You felt the need to sneak out to visit it?”  
  
Loki huffed. “I wasn’t sure you’d let me visit it at all!”  
  
Odin sighed and closed his eye briefly. “Loki. I may not approve of your decision, but actively hindering you is beyond… Why did you think I would do so a thing?”  
  
Well, fuck. If wizardry required honesty, then Odin was going to get it, no matter how much he’d hate to hear it. “Because you want me to give wizardry up. Preventing me from meeting other wizards and making me feel alone would be a good part in that plan.”  
  
Odin’s mouth dropped open. “Are you accusing me of actively planning to hurt you?”  
  
Loki blinked. “I have done everything you ever wanted of me and when I do this one thing for myself, this one thing that means I can be  _more_ , you want to take that away from me. What else was I supposed to think?”  
  
Odin’s face crumpled. “I never meant… Loki, you just needed to ask to visit the cafe. You’re old enough to go there on your own, as long as you take one of the Einherjar with you.”  
  
That wasn’t much of an explanation, much less an apology. “How much trouble am I in?”  
  
“You’ll be restricted to the palace for the next month.”  
  
Loki’s eyebrows rose. “That’s  _all_?”  
  
Odin nodded. “Go. See your mother. She’s been worrying all afternoon.”  
  
Loki bowed his head slightly to hide his wince. He hadn’t meant to make her.  
  
He walked out of Odin’s office and went to his mother’s salon to apologize.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
After spending the remaining time before a private family supper reading in the library, trying to catch up on the schoolwork he’d ignored to go to the cafe, he crept silently down the hall toward the dining room. The door was slightly ajar and he stopped outside of it when he heard his parents talking.  
  
“He thinks I planned to turn him away from wizardry. I don’t understand-- I never meant my disapproval--”  
  
“Odin,” Mother sighed. “You’ve always treated him like Thor. It’s far past time you realize Loki is his own person. Thor thrives under the orders and the demands and the punishments; Loki does not. He needs a somewhat gentler hand. He’s high-strung, our son, and more than a little inclined to see the worst. He wants your approval, Odin. Being corrected constantly rather than having his successes pointed out is driving a wedge between the two of you. Now that you have both recognized it, you can try to fix it. It isn’t too late, Odin.”  
  
He heard his father pulled out his chair and settled into it. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t suddenly turn soft on him. The court--”  
  
“Hang the court. Did you ever  _consider_  the reasons Loki started acting out? Or did you just see a troublemaker?” She let out a breath. “You want a concrete action: stop mentioning how you dislike wizardry. It’s only driving him further away from you.”  
  
Loki put a hand on the door and pushed it open. Both of them turned to him. Frigga asked, “How much did you hear?”  
  
“Enough.”  
  
He didn’t look at Odin for the entire meal and barely spoke if Odin spoke to him. When he finished his dessert of fresh fruit, he left the table. Booted footsteps hurried after him and caught up when Loki was halfway back to his chambers. Thor grabbed his arm and spun him around. “Loki, what happened between you and Father? Where did you go this afternoon? The docks?”  
  
Loki yanked his arm out of Thor’s grasp. “I went to a wizards’ cafe. And I accused Father of something that he couldn’t see before.”  
  
Thor looked absolutely bewildered. “Loki, what are you talking about?”  
  
“He was asking Mother how to deal with me, Thor. He doesn’t understand me at all; he wants me to be a second you! And I’m not. I never can be! I’m a wizard! I prefer books to fighting and I’m only good with a handful of weapons. You seem to have been born to all of them.”  
  
“Yet you understand why people do things. Isn’t that what kings and councilors are supposed to do?”  
  
Loki laughed bitterly. “Among other things.”  
  
“And you’re good with magic. Father’s rarely spoken against it. He just didn’t want you to ignore your time in the training grounds in favor of it.”  
  
“Because we have appearances to uphold. Because the stars forbid the Odinsons can’t lead in battle. But wizardry is something different.”  
  
“Loki, I don’t understand.”  
  
“Neither do I, Thor.”  
  
He hurried away, leaving his brother standing in the corridor. Once back in his chambers, he spelled the door shut and sank down on his couch. He hadn’t meant to snap at his brother-- and he really shouldn’t blame him for wanting to understand. But when Loki barely understood it himself, how was he supposed to explain it to anyone else?  
  
He sighed and leaned his head against the back of the couch. He didn’t know who to talk to. Sif wouldn’t understand any more than Thor. Mother was trying to get Father to understand Loki’s perspective. And… the only person who he could talk to had never been talkative or a confidant despite that he was a good listener. And the occasional teller of stories; he’d almost forgotten. Loki flicked a smile at the ceiling. Was listening to Heimdall where he discovered his wanderlust and thirst for knowledge?  
  
Maybe. And he hadn’t told Odin where Loki had gone this afternoon.  
  
Loki stood up and snuck out of the palace again, despite knowing exactly how much trouble he’d be in if caught now, and headed down the Bifrost on foot.  
  
When he reached the observatory, Heimdall studied him. “You should not be here.”  
  
“I’m aware. I came for advice.”  
  
“I cannot advise you, young wizard.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
Heimdall looked at him with his golden eyes. “Because I do not interfere in matters with the royal family.”  
  
“Is that why you did not tell where I went this afternoon?”  
  
“They did not ask. It is, after all, not the first time you left the palace unaccompanied and you had returned each time. You were not in any difficulties.”  
  
Loki sighed. Maybe he could answer another question. “Do you think it would be wise to inform the populace I’m a wizard?”  
  
“It will both help and hurt, my prince. You will, at the least, not be expected to violate your Oath if others know of it.”  
  
Hunting for sport. Seeking out battles for the joy of them. He sat down on the steps and stared out at the stars beyond. “Thank you.”  
  
Heimdall smiled and sat down next to him. “There is a small yellow star five hundred light years away. It has eight planets orbiting it, two of which hold intelligent life. They are meeting today for the first time and it promises to be glorious. They have been preparing for this day for many years. Now, on the smaller of the two planets, the younger of the dyad of leaders has a young daughter who has snuck aboard the transport. She has not been found yet but I do not believe that she will be until it is too late for the transport to turn around.”  
  
“What do you think will happen?”  
  
“That a little girl will be present at the most significant meeting those planets have yet had-- and that she will be the face of the treaty to come.”  
  
Loki looked up at the gatekeeper’s face. “Things are never that easy.”  
  
“No, they are not. But if you do not try, Loki, who will?”


	3. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know: this is the shortest chapter in the fic; the others are longer (sometimes much longer).

Loki sighed and looked at the metal gates that stood open to the long, winding drive leading up to the manor house perched higher on the mountain. The instructions in his manual had been specific: teleport to the road outside of the gates. It was going to be at least an hour’s walk.  
  
A quiet pop from behind him caught Loki’s attention. He turned and smiled when he saw Bengeirr crossing the road. “Good morning, Ben.”  
  
“Good morning yourself. You ever been here before?”  
  
Loki sighed. “Just once, as a child. It was much more pleasant riding a carriage. Do you know why Lady Svana wants us to walk?”  
  
Ben shrugged. “I think it’s a privacy issue. She doesn’t like dealing with commoners.” He side-eyed Loki. “You’ll actually be able to talk to her directly; she’s always had someone to relay messages both times I’ve been here.”  
  
He held back a sigh.  _That_  kind of noble. It was rather more likely she would treat him like dirt because he was doing work unfit for a noble by being a wizard rather than a proper prince. “Let’s go.”  
  
It actually took less than an hour to walk the drive. When they drew closer, Loki could see that the back half of the house was built into the mountain. The door opened after they brushed the sole of their boots on the boot scraper to the side of the front door. A maidservant ushered them into the parlor where Lady Svana stood in front of the fireplace mantle.  
  
“Prince Loki, it is an honor,” she said with a curtsey. “I assume Bengeirr here told you the sordid details of his previous two visits?”  
  
Loki glanced at Ben and then back at the noblewoman. “I would not call them sordid details. But he did indeed speak of them.”  
  
“Good. Then you should be familiar with the problems the plumbing in this house has.” She flicked a hand at the chairs underneath the window. Both of them sat. “Over the past few weeks, my staff working in the far reaches of the house have heard alarming noises. I did not believe them at first, but I began hearing it as well. I consulted an engineer and a geologist. Both of them said that wizardry would be most likely to fix the underlying problem.”  
  
“Which is?”  
  
“The stream that feeds into the plumbing has of late been more forceful than normal. It is ruining the intake feeds for the pipes leading to the water filter.”  
  
“Why does wizardry--”  
  
She gave Loki a look. “The stream needs to be diverted or the flow lessened. Now go. Fix it.”  
  
Loki opened his mouth and Ben stepped on his foot. “We shall.”  
  
Another servant, a man this time, led them to the back of the house and left them. Ben leaned against the rock wall. “She was being  _nice_. Probably because you’re a prince.”  
  
Loki snorted. “I’m not sure that matters anymore. I don’t know what you’ve heard about court--”  
  
“I do pay attention to the media feeds. It’s been a month; things will calm eventually.”  
  
That was easy for Ben to say. His wizardry ran in his mother’s side of the family; many of them were wizards. Loki was the only wizarding noble for nearly a millennia. And he wasn’t living in a family where half of it didn’t know what to make of him now and his mother couldn’t understand even though she supported him. Save for Sif, the few nobles he’d called friends had begun to distance themselves from him. As for Ben, he barely knew him. A few conversations were the start of a friendship. But it was better than nothing. “Shall we get to work?”  
  
Together, Ben and he spoke the water system’s schematic into visibility around them and ran a diagnostic. Ben snorted. “The flow isn’t the only thing that’s wrong. I can manage the inside repairs if you handle rerouting the stream up at that fork.”  
  
Loki nodded and had one of the servants guide him to the fork. It should be a simple matter to place a few large rocks in the stream bed to limit the flow of water; the other divergence in the stream led to a waterfall about a mile away. But it would be only a temporary solution; any melt strong enough to flood the banks would overcome the barrier.  
  
The first few rocks were easy-- and then he made a mistake. He only realized it when a rumbling noise started vibrating the ground. He looked up the mountainside. Intent counted in the Speech; he didn’t have the time to look for a proper spell. “Stop!”  
  
The small avalanche halted in rid-tumble. Loki let out a deep breath and slowly, slowly let the large boulders down the mountainside, using them to line the now shallower stream bed. He put a couple of mid-sized rocks in the stream bed to complete the barrier and used the rest to ensure that a proper channel was created, one that would not be worn easily away through erosion. He finally let the pebbles go past him, scattering them on the mountainside.  
  
Only then did he collapse into the grass. One mistake, one nearly fatal mistake. Why did he think he had any business being a wizard if he was  _that_  careless?  
  
“Loki? Loki!” Ben rushed over to him. “That was awesome! I couldn’t have done that.”  
  
“I nearly  _died_  because I wasn’t paying proper attention.”  
  
“That happens to almost everyone. Why beat yourself up for it? Do you do that when you lost a match in training?”  
  
“Training is training; this isn’t.”  
  
Ben sat down and handed Loki his canteen. “Drink something. Lady Svana is having lunch made for us. As for what happened, you won’t make that mistake again, will you?”  
  
Loki shook his head, too furious at himself to speak.  
  
Ben sighed. “My Ordeal nearly killed me half a dozen times. I had to outsmart a dragon at one. A baby one, but still-- a  _dragon_. You’re a new wizard; mistakes happen.” He laughed. “Mistakes even happen to adult wizards. Helga once had a batch of dough nearly take over her kitchen because she put too much yeast it in and used the wrong accelerator spell.” Ben looked at him. “That happened last year, Loki. Being a wizard doesn’t make you perfect or ensure that you know everything. It’s a mistake and you managed to make use of it. That’s what wizardry is.”  
  
Loki stood. “You said lunch?”  
  
Ben took the change of subject easily. “It will be travel food for us to eat on the way back to the road. It’s never more than that.” Ben glanced at the rock walls. “Did you have plans this afternoon?”  
  
“No. Why?” Loki was tired enough that he couldn’t imagine anything worse than the three-mile walk back down the mountain. If Ben wanted to do something more active than sitting a chair for the afternoon…  
  
“Do you want to come to my house?”  
  
Loki stopped walking, staring at him. “What?”  
  
“I’m sorry; I didn’t meant to offend you. It’s just… you don’t have anything to do at home, so why not visit mine?”  
  
Loki began walking again. He said softly, “I never thought I would be invited, that you were just tolerating a new wizard who has an incredibly different life than yours.”  
  
Ben stopped Loki with a hand on his shoulder. “I know your life is messed up and that court politics are of no use to anyone, but don’t you have friends?”  
  
“Not many. When your interests are what the court mocks, what’s the point when you know they’re just going to laugh at you when you aren’t around? I’ve had enough of people pretending to be my friend or hoping to gain some influence by knowing me.”  
  
“That sucks.” Ben ran a hand through his hair. “I won’t deny it’ll be a awkward at first. But I do want you to visit. You’re fun to be around and I like your sense of humor.”  
  
He’d said that in the Speech. Loki smiled. “All right. I’ll come.”


	4. The Mountain Above You

Loki turned the corner to his chambers only to slow when he spotted Thor and Sif standing outside of it, both with packs at their feet. He looked them up and down when he reached them. “Where are you two going?”  
  
“How was your ritual?”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows. “It went fine.”  
  
“That’s a non-answer.”  
  
“So was you completely changing the subject, Thor.”  
  
Sif sighed. “Can we talk inside?”  
  
“It won’t stop Heimdall from listening in, you realize?”  
  
“But it does prevent the Einherjar,” she said.  
  
Loki hummed tunelessly. “What are you willing to give me?”  
  
Thor rolled his eyes. “The next time you need to sneak away, we’ll cover for you.”  
  
Loki frowned. “I dislike lies in my name, Thor. Think harder.”  
  
“It’s damnably hard to when half the things you used to do you’ve either reworked entirely or stopped!”  
  
Sif put a hand on Thor’s arm. “We’ll buy you one of the books you’ve been lusting after.”  
  
“Acceptable.”  
  
He opened the door and ushered them in. They put their packs on the floor and stood in the middle of the room. Sif openly looked around; she’d only rarely been in them. Loki locked and sealed the door behind them. “What do you need me for? A distraction?”  
  
“We need your help,” Sif said. “We heard a rumor there’s a dragon living in a maze of caves in the mountains.”  
  
Loki wanted to hit his head on the wall. Neither one of them seemed to quite understand that he would not help them hunt for the glory of it-- nor how dangerous dragons were. “No.”  
  
“You haven’t even heard our proposal!”  
  
“Thor, I know how this goes. You want to find something to prove yourself against; Sif knows that helping you will help her. You both end up in danger and then I have to haul your asses out of the fire. Maybe literally in this case.  _No_.”  
  
“We know the rumors are just rumors, Loki. Father wouldn’t allow a dragon to sleep beneath Asgard for millennia. And you had no sense of a dragon in your ritual this morning, did you?”  
  
Loki thought back to the giant spell-circle, one that reinforced the central wizardry that worked alongside the purely mechanical means to keep Asgard’s atmosphere, water cycle, and ecosystems stable. There had been no sense of a dragon despite the momentary awareness of Asgard as a living whole. “None.” He crossed his arms. “So what do you wish to do?”  
  
Sif and Thor exchanged glances. “We only want to explore. It’s just that we think it would be safer with you.”  
  
“So I’m  _still_  a last-minute rescuer and only along for that? This is not helping me decide to join you.”  
  
Thor said, “We’d like your company, brother. Between your preparations for the ritual and our own duties, we’ve seen very little of you of late.”  
  
“Then why not just say that?”  
  
Sif rolled her eyes. “Because we though you’d like to have a purpose in joining us. You don’t leave the palace anymore unless you have something to do outside of it or if you’re heading to that cafe to meet your friends.”  
  
“Oh.” Had that truly been their perception? Did they think he thought he’d rather be with his wizard friends than with them? Ben had mentioned his suspicions of that when Loki had complained about Thor ignoring him. “I need the truth this time.”  
  
Thor said, “There’s a cave system we’d like to explore. The one with the whistling cave we played in as children?”  
  
“The one you were convinced was haunted because of said whistling noise?” Loki said, raising an eyebrow. “I distinctly remember you swearing that you would never return.”  
  
Sif hid a grin behind a hand and Thor glared at Loki. “I thought you’d forgotten about that.”  
  
“Oh, brother, never.” He backed away a couple of feet, grinning widely. “Why, I thought you were  _still_  scared.”  
  
“ _Loki_ …”  
  
Loki stopped. “You want to explore the system. Thor, it’s dangerous. There have been cave-ins there and the Powers know what else. Most of it is closed to exploring even to experienced spelunkers. I’m not sure there are even any recent maps.”  
  
“Your manual would have one, would it not?”  
  
Loki sighed. “Probably. Yes. How long would we be gone?”  
  
“Overnight. We’ve packed enough dried food to last us for three days in case we want to spend another night out of the palace. We have a medical kit, too.”  
  
“And I have both wizardry and magic. I warn you: I am not great with healing spells in wizardry and have not studied them at all in my other discipline. If I need to, I’ll teleport us out.”  
  
“Fine. But not unless we’re in grave danger.”  
  
Loki shot Thor a disgusted look. “I wouldn’t use it otherwise. Wizardry does not make me a coward. And yes, Thor, that’s exactly what you implied.”  
  
“So you’ll come?” Sif said.  
  
“I’ll come. I just need to pack.”  
  
He walked into his bedroom to pack. He grabbed two sets of clothing, his camping supplies, and an extra blanket, and shoved everything into his pack. He’d grab food on their way out. When he walked back into the main room, he asked, “Are we walking or riding?”  
  
“Neither. I arranged for the use of a skiff for the next two days,” Thor said.  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been  _planning_  this.”  
  
Sif huffed. “Despite what you sometimes think of us, we do in fact have brains. Now let’s go before someone decides to stop us.”  
  
Loki smiled. “You aren’t telling anyone?”  
  
“What’s the point in an adventure if you do?”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Oh, I don’t know… Mother not murdering us when we return, perhaps?”  
  
Thor laughed and put his back on Loki’s back. “You worry too much, brother.”  
  
“Sometimes I don’t think you worry enough,” Loki shot back.  
  
Sif shook her head, dark hair bouncing in its tail. She walked into the corridor and kept going. Loki exchanged glances with Thor and they hurried after her.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
When Thor landed the skiff near the cave entrance, the three of them climbed out. While Thor and Sif covered the craft with camouflage netting, Loki pulled his manual out of his otherspace pocket and flipped through it to the section on Asgard’s geology. He frowned at the map and flipped it into holographic mode, which didn’t help much. He finally managed to zoom into the region-- slowly; the manual was being oddly reticent-- and waited for his brother and their friend to finish what they were doing.  
  
“We’re here,” he said, pointing at the green blinking dot. “The cave system extends all the way through the bedrock foundation. There are several more entrances; I suggest aiming for the second one to the right once we enter this cave. It’ll be a journey little longer than a day and doesn’t look as if it’ll need specialized equipment. But there’s underground streams, several steep areas, and I think a short cliff or two. It’s not a stroll through the palace gardens.”  
  
“Good,” Sif said and shouldered her pack. “Let’s go.”  
  
Loki sighed, not wanting to contemplate why his manual had barely cooperated. The wizardry it contained, the wizardry it was-- he’d avoided the arguments about how sentient the manuals were. It didn’t matter to him: they acted intelligently at times and at other times they acted like books that updated themselves. Now, though, he suspected it was trying to tell him something.  
  
But Sif and Thor were not going to turn around now that they were here. And neither would he. But he would keep alert. A nap on the skiff had helped.  
  
He walked into the cave a little behind the other two, letting his eyes adjust to the dimness. Thor held a light and shined it on the ceiling, looking at the stalactites. He jumped when the cave whistled and moaned. Loki laughed. “I thought you said you weren’t scared, brother.”  
  
Thor swung the light over toward Loki. “Where is the chimney?”  
  
Loki pulled out his own light and walked to the end of the cave, near the narrow slit leading to the rest of the cave system. He pointed it up at a narrow chute. “It extends about a dozen meters upward. If you come over here, you can see the sky.”  
  
Thor picked his way across the rubble-strewn and stalagmite-covered floor. Sif followed him. Both of them looked up the shaft and then pointed their lights at the slit they’d enter the deeper part of the cave through. Sif frowned and Thor said, “It seemed larger when we were children.”  
  
“Things always do,” Loki muttered. Raising his voice to a normal level, he said, “You can fit Thor. Just take your pack off and carry it. We’ll all have to.”  
  
The narrow passage lasted only a few meters before the cave opened up again. Thor shown his light around and then up at the ceiling, where a couple of bats huddled. “Are there more of them?”  
  
“Possibly deeper in. I don’t really know,” Loki said, studying them. “ _Dai stihó_ ,” he said. One of the bats chattered at him and then proceeded to ignore him when he attempted to explain they’d be leaving. He looked at his companions to find both of them giving him odd looks. “What?”  
  
“Were you talking to the bats?”  
  
“What of it?”  
  
Thor said, “What did it say?”  
  
“She wanted you to turn off the light, so I suggest the best thing to do is move onward.”  
  
They took Loki’s advice and made the turn in the cave, the walls closing in around them again. Loki wasn’t sure he liked the feeling of cool stone against his back when he knew there was more stone above him and very close in front of him. But the cave opened up again and they stopped there. Sif pulled out a map of her own and Loki pulled out his manual to compare them. Hers was only slightly off, and not in the direction they were headed.  
  
“Last chance to leave,” Loki said.  
  
Both of them shook their heads. “We’re here; we may as well keep going,” Sif said.  
  
“We’ll be fine, Loki.”  
  
“That’s what you said on Vanaheim last year.”  
  
“How was I to know the bear would still be around?”  
  
“Hush, you two. I don’t want to hear squabbling for two days straight.”  
  
“Sorry, Sif,” Loki said. He’d keep his mouth shut for now. He’d rather pay attention to the walls anyway.  
  
They spent the next while climbing through the cave system: across the bridges built by Asgardian hands when the system was open to visitors and once a natural stone bridge over a chasm several meters deep. Thor’s light barely showed the bottom of it. Once across, they ate a meal there, passing around dried meat, dried fruit and vegetables, and fresh bread. Loki was content to lean against the wall while Thor and Sif argued about which passage to take. Both of them led to the same large cavern, but one was the official path and the other far more narrow and dangerous to cross, thought neither were easy. Sif leaned toward the former and Thor the latter.  
  
Thor finally turned to Loki, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. “Brother, what do you think?”  
  
“That Sif’s right. It’s dangerous enough being here. I don’t know if you noticed or not, but the last metal bridge we crossed was badly rusted. No one has been in here to check on the state of things for Powers know how many years. We know Sif’s map is less accurate than my manual, but my manual updates with information people  _know_. If no one has been watching, then there may be difficulties we cannot avoid because the map is inaccurate. Taking the formerly maintained route may be more boring, but it’s the safest path we have.”  
  
“Safe isn’t always the best choice.”  
  
“Thor, I’d rather not die in a cave-in.”  
  
Sif said, “Majority rules, Thor. We’re not going off alone and both Loki and I would prefer--”  
  
“I know.” He crossed his arms, the struggle to listen to them or insist on his way clearly showing in the expressions he made. “Fine. We’ll go that way.” He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Though I hope it isn’t as easy as you’re wishing for.”  
  
Loki closed his heads and leaned his head against the rock behind him. The universe listened. And there were those who Loki didn’t want paying attention. “Thor…”  
  
Thor shot him a look and shoved the empty food wrappers in his pack. He picked up the light. “Let’s go. That chamber will be a good place to spend the night.”  
  
He strode off, the light fading swiftly around Sif and Loki. She turned on her own light. “I don’t like this. He’s acting as if this isn’t deadly serious.”  
  
“I think for him it isn’t. I’m here, after all, and I can always teleport us out. I don’t think he’s considered what would happen if I couldn’t.”  
  
“He’s reckless, sometimes.”  
  
Loki gave her a wry look. “So are you. So am I. But right now, we need to catch up to him. And hopefully we can talk some sense into him later.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
They reached the branch in the path to see no sign of Thor. Sif gave Loki an exasperated look. “What do you want to bet he went down the other passage?”  
  
Loki shook his head and reached into his otherspace pocket for his manual. “I won’t take that bet. If he has, he owes me more than a book.”  
  
Loki flipped open the manual to the map and zoomed in, muttering the spell to find Thor. The red dot appeared in the left hand passage. Loki snapped the book shut and tossed it into the air to vanish it into his otherspace pocket.  
  
Sif cursed. “I’m going to kill him.”  
  
“I can’t let you do that. It would speed up entropy.” Sif turned her glare down the passage onto him. “Mind, I won’t stop you from yelling at him, nor will I keep quiet myself.”  
  
Sif kicked a small rock out of the way. “This is ridiculous.”  
  
“This is Thor. What else did you expect?”  
  
She sighed and climbed the pile of rubble to scramble down the other side. Loki swiftly followed after her; he didn’t like the look of the ceiling. They hurried down the passage, footsteps echoing. Thor wasn’t too far up, but he was wearing a smug smile on his face. Sif went up and punched him hard in the arm. “You  _idiot_. What if we had assumed you’d gone ahead on the path we’d agreed on and not come after you? Did you even think of that?”  
  
Thor looked startled. “But you didn’t.”  
  
“That’s not the point, Thor,” Loki said. He leaned against the wall. “You could have been hurt, knocked unconscious by falling down that hill of debris-- and we would not have known until we realized you weren’t ahead of us. Instead, we had the foresight to check my manual and do a finding spell. So you know what we’re going to do now?” Thor opened his mouth to argue, but Loki held up a finger. “We’re going to turn around and use the path we agreed on. Now.”  
  
Thor shut his mouth, the smile wiped off his face and replaced with a disgruntled look. He did, however, start back up the passage. Loki followed him, with Sif bringing up the rear. Thor started up the debris pile, slipped, and picked himself up. But he slipped again and slid back down. He opened his mouth to argue, but Loki knew full well how stubborn the look was on his face and he could see Sif frowning. But she was looking at the ceiling. Loki turned his own light on and swung the beam upward. “Thor, hurry.”  
  
Thor followed his gaze and scrambled up the hill. But a desperate kick knocked one anti-gravity-ball-sized rock loose, which hit the wall with a dull thud. Thor froze and then scrambled back down the hill as rain of pebbles fell from the ceiling. “Run,” he cried.  
  
Neither Sif nor Loki argued with him, turning the corner and running as fast as they safely could. When they heard the ominous rumbling trailing off, Loki released the personal shielding spell he’d held around them. He turned to the other two. “Stay here. I’m going to check.”  
  
“Be careful, Loki,” Sif said. Thor nodded, and tried vainly to wipe rock dust off his face.  
  
Loki crept around the corner, prepared to run or dodge rocks at any moment, but when he neared the rock fall area, he sighed when he ran his light over it. There was no way back; they would have to go forward. He marched back to the others and got in Thor’s face. “You are a fucking idiot. You could have gotten us all killed. Now we have to go down this path and you’d better hope that there’s nothing more dangerous ahead of us.”  
  
Loki stalked off ahead of them and as he made his way down the path, he could hear Sif resuming her lecture.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
They traveled several more hours, largely in silence. When they reached a portion of the passage they had to crawl through, they made Thor go first. It was slow going, and Loki knew exactly how many tons of rock and snow and ice were above them. Crawling, his jacket occasionally scraping against the rough rock, it felt like he was either going to be crushed or was holding up the entire mountain himself. When they emerge into a more open area, Loki sat up and exhaled in relief. The mountain was still above him, but it no longer felt like it was pressing down on him.   
  
Sif pulled out her map and turned her light on it. “This passageway opens into the cavern we were aiming to spend the night in. Come on.”  
  
Loki trailed after them, trying not to show exactly how much the crawl had affected him. If there were narrower ones-- there shouldn’t be on the tourist path-- he’d be tempted to walk through it, though he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold the demolecularization spell long enough. And then his brother and Sif would know how much it bothered him; Thor would not be sensible enough to have tact, though Sif would.  
  
When they reached the cavern, they explored the near half and ended up in a mostly flat spot near the wall. The crevice that bisected the cavern was a warning that they weren’t any safer here.  
  
After a brief meal, they pulled out their sleeping bags and climbed into them. Thor left one of his lights on so they wouldn’t be in pure darkness. Loki rolled onto his side, the bag automatically adjusting beneath him to be comfortable, and fell asleep listening to Thor and Sif talking quietly behind him.  
  
He woke several hours later to pure darkness. He fumbled for his light and flicked it on. Both Thor and Sif were asleep, but they didn’t wake up. Loki flicked the light around the cavern, but nothing had changed. He sighed and lay back down on his back. He played the light around the ceiling, noting the jumping shadows caused by rock formations and finally attached it to his pack so his brother and Sif would have light if they needed to wake up before their alarm rang.  
  
Loki woke two hours later to his light dimming and Thor warming up breakfast. He ate the warmed food and packed his sleeping bag away while Sif ate. After everything was cleaned up and stored, Thor switched lights and walked over to the crevice. He pointed at the rusted bolts stuck in the rock. “The bridge is gone.”  
  
“Then we’re skywalking,” Loki said. “I am  _not_  jumping over that with how uneven the ground is.”  
  
Thor turned to him. “I do not think it would be wise, either. Now--”  
  
The ground crumbled underneath his feet and he dropped into the crevice with a solid thud and crack. Loki saw Sif’s face pale at the corner of his eyes, and as he raced forward, he knew his was just as white. He pointed his light down into the crevice. “Thor? Thor!”  
  
But he heard no answer. “Shit shit shit.” But he finally managed to find Thor laying crumpled at the bottom, pebbles and dust covering him-- and blood splashed on the rock around him. “Shit, Sif. Get our packs; I need to skywalk down there. I’ll have illusions up so you can see where the path is.”  
  
She nodded and hurried back to their packs. Loki hurriedly spoke the spell and the path spread out beneath him, winding along the sides of the crevice to give them a safe slope down. He put up a yellow illusion on the paths’ edge and underneath it so Sif could see where to step. He walked down it, keeping an eye where he stepped and the walls around him. Speed would sacrifice his safety, and he was the only one who could get Thor out of here.  
  
Scrapes and sprains he could have handled. This he would leave to the healers.  
  
When he reached the bottom, he hurried over to Thor’s body and felt for a pulse in Thor’s neck. He sank down onto his heels when he felt one.  _Thank the Powers_. Now he just had to run a diagnostic while he waited for Sif.  
  
He pulled out his manual and flipped to the section on healing, the book’s pages glowing softly to provide him light enough to read. He found the spell he needed and read it. The wizardry held him, showing him all the places in Thor’s body that were broken: a rib piercing a lung, a skull fracture (though thankfully not compressing his brain), a bruised kidney, a broken femur, and a multitude of bruises and lacerations. The spell ended and he put his hand on the floor to catch himself. Sif helped him sit down, nearly dropping her own light and causing the walls of the cavern to shine oddly in streaks. He ended the skywalk and the illusion now that they were no longer needed. “We need to get him to the healers now. He’ll die if we wait.”  
  
Sif looked at him, dust streaking her face and her eyes wide. “You’ll teleport us out.”  
  
Loki nodded and flipped his manual to the routine that would generate shorthand versions of the Speech names of Thor and Sif. He tried not to hold his breath during the brief moment it took to run, not liking the way Thor’s breath was whistling. He pulled out his transit circle, checked to make sure the starting and terminal coordinates were correct (it was a sad but typical commentary on his life as a wizard and as an Odinson that he’d stored a routine with the healing rooms coordinates preset in the terminal spot), and then dropped his name and the other two in the receptor sites for them. He took a deep breath and began reading the spell. Sif tried not to look unnerved as the spell silenced the already quiet cave and seemed to bring the crevice walls bearing down on them. But she looked at Thor and held still--  
  
\-- and then they were back in the city, right outside the door to the emergency entrance.  
  
Where there were already people waiting for them. The aides transferred Thor to a stretcher while the healer looked at Loki. “Did you run a diagnostic?”  
  
Loki swayed. “A broken rib’s piercing his left lung. Skull fracture. Broken femur. Those are the important ones.”  
  
She nodded and hurried inside. Sif wrapped an arm under Loki’s arms and helped steady him so they could go inside. Another healer met them not feet from the door and looked at them. “Take him to the second room on the right. How badly is he hurt?”  
  
Sif said, “I think it’s just exhaustion and shock. We’re both uninjured.”  
  
The healer sniffed but Loki just nodded. They walked down the stone hallway, healers and aides dodging around them, until they reached the room they’d been directed to. Loki kicked the door shut and let Sif help him onto the bed. He unlaced his boots and let them drop onto the tile floor. When an aide entered and put a hospital outfit on the bed next to him and also handed him a damp washcloth, he just stared at it. Sif sighed and took it from his shaking hands. “You know, we should have listened to you and told someone where we were going before we left.”  
  
“Heimdall was obviously watching.” Not that he was an argument for not telling anyone. Loki should have been more responsible, but the lure of being invited on an adventure with his brother and their oldest friend had overruled his judgement. Something else he’d likely get in trouble for-- and maybe not just by his parents.  
  
He let Sif take off his shirt and drape the hospital garment over his head. She turned her back so he could take off his filthy pants. Once they were dropped on the floor, she turned back around and then had to leave the room entirely when a healer came in.  
  
Loki didn’t fuss during the brief examination and merely explained exactly what had left him feeling as if he’d spent all day in the ring fighting with weaponmasters who were treating him as a full-fledged warrior, not as a student. The healer concurred with his assessment and left. Sif walked back in, who had taken the opportunity to wash herself off and change into the clean clothes in her pack. “Well?”  
  
“I’ve heard nothing about Thor. But I’m to drink and eat and spend all day resting. I merely exhausted myself.”  
  
An aide opened the door, handed Loki a packet of high-calories foods and an electrolyte drink, and then left, closing the door behind him. Sif sat down on the chair and picked at the packaging surrounding the food before Loki got tired enough of the noise and snatched it away from her. “Do you think he’ll recover?”  
  
“He has to. I brought him here in time.” Loki’s eyes blurred with unshed tears. “Damn him. Why did he have to fall? I’d begun to believe we’d get through with no further mishaps.”  
  
“It was an  _accident_ , Loki. It wasn’t your fault.”  
  
“I know. But now he’s fighting for his life and I don’t know anything of what’s happening.” He gestured at the hospital gown. “I won’t be released from here to learn more until my parents arrive. And even then… No, they wouldn’t send me away, not with his injuries.”  
  
Sif groaned. “We will be in tremendous amounts of trouble when this is over with.”  
  
Loki looked over at her and gave her a wry look. “I’m trying not to think about that part. I’m rather likely to imagine horrible punishments.” He finally opened the packet of food and started eating. After a few bites, he began feeling a little better and demolished the rest of the packet in between sips of the drink. Once finished, he put the empty bottle and and packet on the table next to him and leaned back. “I should have been told something by now. What if-- what if he died and they want to inform Mother and Father first so they could tell me?”  
  
Sif squeezed his hand. “You said you brought him here in time. They’re just in the middle of healing him, Loki. That’s all.”  
  
Loki tilted his head to look at her. “You’re just trying to make me feel better. You don’t know either.”  
  
She huffed. “Maybe I’m trying to convince myself, too, Loki.”  
  
“Sorry,” he muttered.  
  
But it was only a few minutes after that when the door opened and Odin walked in. He handed Loki the clean clothes from his pack. “Get dressed. Thor’s out of surgery.”  
  
Loki closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. Sif thanked Odin and left the room. Odin followed and Loki dressed swiftly, shoved his feet back into his boots, and walked into the hallway. Sif bit her lip and looked at him nervously when Odin strode off. Loki raised an eyebrow at her, but she mouthed, “I’ll see you later.” So he hurried off after his father.  
  
When they reached the ward where patients who needed to remain overnight stayed, Loki hunched his shoulders but followed Odin into the room at the end of the corridor. Mother looked up at him and left her chair by Thor’s bedside. She embraced him and kissed his forehead. “What happened, Loki?”  
  
“We were idiots. We were caving and Thor was standing near the edge of a crevasse. It crumbled underneath him.”  
  
Frigga sighed and Odin rubbed his forehead. He looked like he wanted to begin shouting, but he didn’t. Loki looked at Thor, a white bandage wrapped around his forehead and covered up to his chin with a thin sheet. An IV in his arm dripped several liquids into his body. “How he is?”  
  
“Thanks to you, he’ll live. Eir said he won’t wake up for another couple of hours and he’ll need to spend the rest of the week resting and another month beyond that on light duty. She doesn’t want him straining anything,” Frigga said.  
  
Loki nodded and she released him. “How are you?”  
  
Loki wiped a hand across his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”  
  
She steered him to the couch underneath the window and he curled up there, watching his brother’s chest move up and down.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
He woke up when someone shook his shoulder. “Loki, your brother’s awake,” Odin said softly.  
  
Loki blinked and rubbed his eyes before rubbing his neck. It had been quite a while since he’d fallen asleep in a chair and he’d forgotten exactly how uncomfortable it was. And then his father’s words penetrated his brain. He looked over at the healing bed. Thor greeted him with a silly grin. “Loki! You’re fine, too.”  
  
Loki blinked and moved over to the chair where his mother had been sitting. “Of course I’m fine, you featherbrained lump.  _You’re_  the one who fell down a cliff.”  
  
“But you don’t nap.”  
  
Loki sighed and grabbed his brother’s hand so he wouldn’t keep nearly hitting himself with it while trying to gesture with it. “I do when I’m tired. Which I was after teleporting the three of us here. And before you ask, Sif’s fine, too. She’s already back at the palace.”  
  
“Oh. Good.” Another odd smile and Thor said, “I’m glad you were there.”  
  
“So am I, Thor. Now go back to sleep.”  
  
Loki put Thor’s hand back on the light sheet and returned to the couch while Thor mumbled nonsense to himself. Odin placed a hand on his shoulder. “He’s drugged.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Odin sighed. “We’ll discuss appropriate punishments when he’s recovered enough to leave here.” His lone eye pierced Loki’s and then he embraced him.  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows in disbelief, knowing Odin couldn’t see them, and cautiously returned the embrace. “I’m fine, Father.”  
  
“I know.” He pulled back. “And I know why you were able to rescue Thor so easily. I may yet come to understand why you value your wizardry so highly.”  
  
Loki didn’t know what to say to that, so he sank back against the couch and watched his brother in silence.


	5. The Powers of Darkness

Loki stared around him at the muddy fields neighboring the drive he’d teleported onto. He shook his head and walked up the drive to the farmhouse, noting the alert in his manual about the farm’s alarm system going off. He shut the book and walked up the steps to ring the bell. He did so and waited only briefly before a man dressed in a muddy farmer’s tunic and pants opened the door.  
  
“I am on errantry and I greet you, sir.”  
  
The man scowled, though whether it was because of the second prince of Asgard calling a low-class peasant farmer “sir” or that it was him being a wizard at all or something else entirely. “What do you want?”  
  
General hostility, then. “I am investigating the atypical flooding in the area in an effort to learn why it is happening and to stop it.”  
  
The man raised his eyebrows and leaned against the door frame. “Do you think you can? If it isn’t stopped, I’ll lose my entire crop.”  
  
“I will try with the best of my ability and if it beyond that, then I will ask for help.”  
  
The man snorted a laugh. “I’ll believe that when I see.” He stepped away from the door. “Come in, little prince. I have records you’ll be interested in.”  
  
Loki ignored the disrespect and stepped into the house after scuffing his boots on the doormat. He followed the man down the worn wooden hall and into a small office. The farmer had already spread out a map of his holding and placed a tablet on it. Loki moved it off, studied the map, and then flicked through the records. He put the tablet down, pulled out his manual, and marked the places where the flooding was the worst.  
  
It matched everything else: it started from a central point, the flooding caused by sudden downpours. And those points were scattered across the map with no reason behind them Loki could discern by looking. There were no wells, no amulets or charms placed to attract storms, no magic dissipated or wizardry falling apart and going wrong. He rubbed his temple and looked at the farmer, who stared at him with his arms crossed.  
  
“Have you seen anything that could play a role?”  
  
“Sure have. But I know the law and if I say it, I’ll be imprisoned. Who would bring in my crops then?”  
  
Loki swallowed. Only a few things would cause that-- and his suspicion about the cause grew. “I swear on my oath as a wizard that you will not be in trouble for speaking.”  
  
The man looked entirely unconvinced, but tapped a place on the map, near the center of the incident, next to a road where there was a small copse of trees that had stood there for as long as Loki could remember. “I was in the field when the first rain came. I’d paid little attention to the road, but when a blond man wearing a bright red cape lands on the road near you, you notice. Especially when lightning hits one of those trees a few moments later, after he’d disappeared into them. And that’s when the downpour started. I didn’t stick around after that. I didn’t notice anything the other two times.”  
  
“But you think it’s Thor,” Loki said with a sigh. He rubbed his forehead.  
  
“Aye, I do.” He gave Loki a beady-eyed glare. “So you’re just going to ask him to stop, aren’t you? And what if he doesn’t?”  
  
Loki stared down at his manual, at the map where half of Asgard’s farms were in danger of flooding and where there were several areas of strange dryness. “I will ask, yes. If that doesn’t work, I will escalate.” He met the farmer’s eyes. “I have been charged by the Powers That Be to solve this problem. I will not be satisfied with any solution less than stopping him.”  
  
“Good.” He uncrossed his arms. “Maybe there is some use in your being a wizard after all.”  
  
Loki kept his mouth shut and his feelings off his face. Some farmers had been even more blunt than that. One had refused to speak to him at all, not wanting to associate with a traitor to the Realms. Others had not acted as if anything was odd. “Thank you for your help.”  
  
He left the house and teleported back to the palace. He rubbed his forehead and entered the gate into the main courtyard, wishing he could return to his chambers to rest for a bit. But better to get this over with-- if he could find his brother. He’d not been entirely predictable of late.  
  
He made his way to the training grounds and spotted a crowd gathered. Loki sighed. Thor was definitely there, then. But he would not hold this conversation in public: there was no point in humiliating his brother. The crowd split for him and he ended up resting his arms on the stone balustrade, watching his brother twirl Mjolnir in the air and then bring it down on his opponent’s shield. The man bearing the shield staggered and then signaled surrender.  
  
Thor grinned and clapped the man on the back. “Who’s next?”  
  
Loki sighed and slipped away as another man came onto the sand. He didn’t need to see more.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
That night after a late supper, Loki knocked on the open door to Thor’s chambers. Thor lifted his head from his book and waved Loki in. Loki shut the door behind him and sat down on the couch next to Thor, putting his manual on his lap. “What are you reading?”  
  
“General Tyr’s exploits in battle.”  
  
“Ah.” He shifted to better face his brother. “About that. You’ve been going to the fields to learn to wield Mjolnir, haven’t you?”  
  
Thor blinked. “What better way to learn to control what she can do than by bringing water to the farmers?”  
  
Loki kept his expression still with difficulty and opened the manual to the page he’d bookmarked. He flipped it around to show Thor the map with red dots on it. “These are all the places you’ve visited?”  
  
Thor nodded, brow furrowing. “Loki, what is this?”  
  
Loki tapped the map and a blue overlay appeared on the map, each one centered on a red dot. “These are all the places that are having flooding problems badly enough that they may lose their crops.”  
  
Thor stared at it and then up at Loki. “How did you learn all of this?”  
  
Loki kept the book open and rubbed his forehead. “I visited each and every single farmer affected, Thor, until I found one who saw you arrive and not moments later it began to pour. He confirmed my suspicion that Mjolnir wielded poorly was the cause.”  
  
“Why? Father has said nothing to me about this.”  
  
“Father likely doesn’t know! The agricultural council are still investigating, and if they harbor their own suspicion, they haven’t yet gathered the courage to tell Father.”  
  
“You haven’t, either,”Thor said with a shrewd look on his face. “He didn’t know you’re investigating on your own. And he won’t be happy when he finds out. Jealousy does not become you, brother.”  
  
Snapping he wasn’t jealous would prove exactly the opposite. He sighed. “I’m on errantry.  _That’s_  why I investigated. And as a wizard, my duty is to go to the source of the problem and ask whoever it is to stop. Right now, that’s you.”  
  
Thor gestured at Mjolnir, placed on a pedestal near the room’s entrance. “You cannot expect me to stop learning!”  
  
“Of course not! Just… stop using the weather-controlling ability for now. I’ll find someplace we can go that won’t affect anyone.”  
  
Thor leaned back on the couch. “Father entrusted me with Mjolnir. He said I am worthy of it.”  
  
“And worthiness means learning to wield it properly without endangering Asgard’s food supplies!” Getting through to his brother when he’d turned stubborn was like riding a horse who’d taken a bit between its teeth.  
  
Thor’s shoulders slumped. “It is truly that bad?”  
  
“Yes, Thor. That’s why I’m sitting here telling you this.” After looking at his brother’s dejected posture, he added, “As long as you don’t use the weather aspect, I see no reason why you cannot continue to train in the ring with Mjolnir.”  
  
He brightened. “How long do you think it will take to find a place?”  
  
He had several in mind, but he wasn’t going to tell Thor that. Not when his ideal place involved asking Odin for permission. “I don’t know.”  
  
Thor nodded. “Loki, I didn’t mean to--”  
  
“I know. That’s why we’re  _talking_  about this. It’s why I’m offering to teach you.”  
  
“You?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “Who better? I know magic and wizardry will let me see exactly what you’re doing to the weather systems.”  
  
Thor leaned forward, clasped the back of Loki’s neck, and touched foreheads. “Thank you, brother.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
The next morning, Loki took a deep breath and knocked on Odin’s office door. It opened without a sound and Loki walked in. Odin raised an eyebrow, but Loki held up a hand. “I know you have a meeting in a few minutes, but this will be brief. I need permission for Thor and I to go to Svartalfheim daily for a few hours for an unknown duration of weeks or months.”  
  
Odin said, “Why?”  
  
“Thor’s causing the flooding because he’s learning to control Mjolnir.”  
  
“Ah. There’s nothing on Svartalfheim.”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
Odin studied Loki. “You will remain for no more than two hours a day and Heimdall will keep an eye on you the entire time. If for any reason he suspects an ulterior motive to these sessions, he will retrieve both of you immediately.”  
  
“Yes, All-father.”  
  
Odin nodded and gestured to the door. Loki bowed his head and left the office. Now to find Thor-- and  _not_  tell him exactly where they’d be traveling. Even a few hours notice would give him time to cause trouble on their first visit. And any other ideas about places to learn were poor seconds.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Thor grasped and loosened his grip on Mjolnir’s handle. “Where are we going, Loki?”  
  
Loki gave him and Heimdall both a mischievous smile. The gatekeeper smiled back. “It’s a surprise. Whenever you’re ready, Heimdall.”  
  
Heimdall thrust his sword into the controls and turned on the Bifrost. When they landed in a cloud of dust, Loki blinked, eyes watering. But it faded swiftly, helped along by a lack of breeze. Thor looked around them with wide eyes. “We’re on Svartalfheim!”  
  
“Indeed we are.” The dark clouds and odd sunlight were clear indicators. The gray-green water seen at the bottom of the hill they stood at the peak of was less so.  
  
“Why?”  
  
Loki gestured at the rocky landscape. “It’s a dead world, Thor. Nothing lives here anymore.”  
  
Thor looked taken aback. “Nothing?”  
  
Loki looked at the water. “Maybe something near the deep sea vents survived the cataclysm of the last Convergence, but I’m not curious enough to look.” He gestured his otherspace pocket open and pulled out two wooden-and-cloth folding chairs and a small cold storage unit that could double as a table. He handed a chair to Thor and set up the other, placing the unit between them.  
  
“What happened here?” Thor said quietly, not sitting down.  
  
Loki did so. “Did you truly forget the stories Mother used to tell us?”  
  
He shook his head and then sat down heavily. “I hadn’t realized the world died with the Dark Elves.”  
  
Loki sighed. “The ships Malekith made crash… They were full of toxins that leaked out. Much of them sunk into the soils and entered the water cycle. So many of the ships crashed they raised giant dust clouds that shrouded their sun for too long. And then Bor and his soldiers killed the survivors.”  
  
“They deserved it.”  
  
Loki lifted his head. “Did they?”  
  
Thor gestured around them. “They wanted to destroy the universe and return it to its primal state. Death--”  
  
“They were ARESH-HAV, Thor. They served the Lone Power utterly.  _Yet they were still life_. And thus they deserved to not have been slaughtered.” Loki stood up and paced before the chairs. “Can you not see that?”  
  
“They fought us, they died.”  
  
“What about those who surrendered? What about the children and noncombatants? Did they also deserve death?” Thor’s mouth worked, but Loki wasn’t done. “What made Bor decide that the only way to prevent the death of the universe was to kill an entire species? The Convergence was over. And the Aether was taken and destroyed.”  
  
“Because their actions doomed them, Loki.”  
  
“No.  _Bor’s_  actions ensured they would never have a chance to repent. Malekith’s fanaticism is not the sum total of all of the Dark Elves. What about those who never felt they had a chance to speak up, to offer a different way? What about those who did and died for it?”  
  
Loki ran a hand through his hair. “What seems so simple on the battlefield rarely isn’t complex when examined off it. It’s like the Jotuns. They invaded Midgard-- but Odin merely ensured they could not leave Jotunheim. He didn’t kill them all.”  
  
Thor stared at him. “How can you think that? They’re monsters who attacked a defenseless Realm.”  
  
Loki swallowed. “And they can no longer do so. What part of that requires undying hatred?”  
  
“They will always be that way.”  
  
Loki frowned. “If we don’t give them a chance to act--”  
  
“They don’t even have wizards.”  
  
Loki snorted. “Of course they do. It’s merely that if wizards practice openly, they’ll be executed as traitors.” He smiled, deliberately merciless. “It’s not dissimilar to parts of Asgard’s attitude towards wizardry.”  
  
Thor stared at him in horror. “What? How can you compare--”  
  
“There are people who will call me a traitor to my face. There are members of court who will not talk to me.” Loki took in a ragged breath. “Or did you forget that I am only still in the line of succession because Odin does not wish to have me become even more of a target for assassination and that he hopes that I will never have cause to sit on the throne? He does not believe that a wizard can be loyal to something lesser.”  
  
He walked a few steps away and then turned around. “You have wondered that I do not befriend those you do. I see the way Volstagg and Fandral look at me sometimes. You wonder than I prefer to meet my friends at the Knotwork Cafe. You wonder that most of my friends are wizards. It’s because we understand each other! We understand the sacrifices we sometimes make!  
  
“Who else would understand the call in the early morning hours to leave Asgard and go off someplace you’ve never been in order to solve a problem that you’ve only just heard about? Or knowing that you may be called to leave the Nine Realms and learn to deal with species you’ve never heard of before and will probably never see again?”  
  
He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further. But he didn’t care. He lowered his voice, causing Thor to lean forward. “How many others would understand that we may be called to give our lives out there, in circumstances that all but ensure there are no bodies to retrieve for the funeral boats? Or in circumstances where the only word that we won’t be coming home is a notice in a Senior wizard’s manual?  
  
“Asgard may see us as all but traitors, Thor. But we are fighting a war in which we are badly outnumbered. And one that only a few people bother to even try to understand. You’re too concerned with believing the Nine Realms is the only civilized place in the universe. I tell you: there are civilizations older than Asgard. There are species who live twice as long as we do, and some even longer. The universe is a marvelous and dangerous place, Thor. And  _no one_  who is not a wizard can fully understand what it means to fight for it, to fight for life itself in a universe where entropy will eventually win.”  
  
He took several breaths, trying to calm himself. “So you say I’m jealous?” He met Thor’s eyes. “Yes, I am. I’m jealous that you practically have Asgard eating out of the palm of your hand, that you are the favored son who can seemingly do no wrong. Even this mistake people will eventually love you for, because once you learn to control Mjolnir, it means that Asgard or our allied Realms need not suffer another drought. I’m jealous that you will become king. I am jealous that people are beginning to look at you as the epitome of the perfect Asgardian.  
  
“And I am the shadow: the second, lesser son. So it is any wonder my friends are people who try to understand me and see me for who I am rather than who I am not?” He closed his eyes and rubbed his face. “I don’t know what else to say to you, Thor.”  
  
He heard Thor stand up, the chair creaking. He opened his eyes when Thor put his hands on Loki’s shoulders. “I don’t know what to say to you either, brother. I think… I think it best if we return to Asgard. You do not seem to be in the mood to teach me.”  
  
_As if that’s all that mattered_ , Loki thought. But he knew Thor didn’t mean it that way. His brother would listen, had listened. Only time would tell how much he actually understood. “I am not.” He tilted his head toward the sky. “Heimdall?”  
  
The Bifrost took them and the equipment. Once back in Asgard, Thor left the observatory while Loki packed everything back in his otherspace pocket. Heimdall came over to him after he’d finished. “Some of us don’t believe wizards are traitors.”  
  
Loki smiled at Heimdall. “I know. But you also have gifts that also separate you from the general population.”  
  
“That is indeed true, young Odinson. Nevertheless, it does not change that you have friends.”  
  
Loki nodded. “Why do you think I visit you so often?”  
  
Heimdall walked back to the controls. “Because you like my stories.”  
  
That was one reason, yes. But Loki heard the unspoken explanations. Heimdall kept his silence and Loki appreciated the discretion. “Until later, gatekeeper.”  
  
“My prince.”  
  
Loki left the observatory. He said nothing at the questioning look Thor gave him and mounted his horse. He kept silent all through the journey home, grooming his horse himself rather than giving her to a groom, and then ghosted through the palace to his chambers.  
  
Once inside them, he locked them with a burst of wizardry and slid down to the floor, leaning his back against the molded metal door. He thunked his head lightly against the golden metal and sighed. He had not meant to lose his temper at Thor. Nor had he ever intended to speak those words. But he had and there was no going back. There was only forward.  
  
He just hoped it wasn’t too painful.


	6. Troptic Stipulation

Loki sat on the floor of his main chamber, studying the circle of blue glowing symbols spread before him. He hadn’t done this in a while and he’d finally scrounged and bargained an afternoon and evening for it: with Thor in heavy training and him dealing with both the beginning studies for a mastery in magical illusions and keeping up with his own work while helping Thor with his own studies (which was sometimes a lost cause), he had little time for sustained introspection that wasn’t in the early mornings or late nights.  
  
But one of the things about wizardry he’d enjoyed-- at least after he came to terms with the fact that he could not avoid it-- was that introspection. And the easiest way he’d found to begin was to read the most detailed aspect of his name and tease out a detail only previously hinted at and therefore how it connected to other parts of his personality and how it affected him. Among the more ridiculous things he’d discovered and would never tell anyone was a love of bad poetry.  
  
But this time, something Ben had noticed in a group work on errantry earlier in the month had stuck in his mind. It had simply taken a few weeks to manage to get the time he needed.  
  
He pulled the information about his physical body over to him and started going through it, symbol by symbol, hunting for anything that would hint why the shapechange had come easier to him. After he’d stopped to rub his eyes a few times and take a break to drink some water, he finally found it: an acronym that he teased apart into its component words: natural-born shapeshifter.  
  
Huh. That was a specialty Mother had encouraged him away from as a child. Now it appeared that she had worried for nothing about losing him. But the tag on the end of the Speech phrase…  
  
He pulled apart  _that_  acronym and froze: locked out of shifting into birth species; overruled by contact with birth species and magical artifacts from it.  
  
Loki didn’t put down the Speech-strand, but lowered it to his lap and took several deep breaths.  
  
What birth species? If this was appended to his name, he was not Asgardian by birth. But he glanced over the rest of the physical data: nothing suggested that he was physically any different than any other Asgardian. Shapeshifted into one, then-- by himself, apparently. But who had locked him out of his birth form?  
  
Adopted? Did his family know he wasn’t Asgardian?  
  
He shook his head and raised the Speech strand. He would discover both eventually if he kept looking. He would not let the dread and fear that he had been lied to his entire life stop him. He had to know.  
  
First things first: if he learned who had locked him out of his birth species, he would likely learn if his parents knew.  
  
He teased apart the phrase, hunting for the final link in the chain. He let out a deep breath when he saw the name, tears pricking at his eyes. Odin Borsson the All-father.  
  
His parents knew, then. Odin would not have kept it a secret from Frigga.  
  
Loki thrust aside the stomach-churning betrayal and went looking for the other piece of information he needed to confront them. He closed his eyes after he backtracked to the “birth species” phrase and pulled on the miniscule tag: he almost didn’t want to know, wanted to pretend he had had never sat down to study his name and just accepted the quirk that he was talented at shapeshifting. But he was a wizard-- and wizardry required courage. He opened his eyes to see his worst nightmare: Jotun.  
  
This time he did drop the strand of the Speech and it snapped back into its acronym form and resumed its place in the circle of his name. But it was now subtly different in another place: the part which bridged his physical body and mental self. He didn’t peer closer at it, instead picking up his name and stuffing it back inside his manual. He closed the book, tossed it onto his desk, and took several deep breaths before standing.  
  
He would not confront his parents with eyes red from crying. He would have to remain calm. And he would have to ensure Thor was not in earshot.  
  
He muttered the spell to locate Thor-- one he’d long since memorized, he used it so often-- and nodded when the spell ended. Still out in the training yards. And at this time of day, his parents would be in Odin’s study, going over reports of the other Realms.  
  
Loki changed into more formal clothing and left his chambers. He walked down the corridors to his adoptive father’s study and knocked sharply on the door once.  
  
“Enter!”  
  
He did as Odin bid and closed the door behind him. After he did so, he spoke a spell that would ensure they would not be overheard, especially because he knew at least one of them would end up yelling. When he uttered the last syllable, he saw the glance his parents exchange. He met their gazes squarely and said, “We need to talk: about when and why you adopted me-- and why you didn’t tell me.”  
  
Odin’s face shuttered, while Frigga raised an hand to her mouth. She said, “Oh, Loki. How did you discover this?”  
  
Loki kept his voice calm, despite his seething emotions. He needed the truth and that meant not giving in to his anger. “I examined my name in the Speech and discovered that I was locked out of my birth form. That, obviously, led me to a deeper inquiry. I learned that the All-father had done so and that I am a Jotun by birth. It told me none of the whys.”  
  
Odin said, “After the battle, after we’d captured the Casket, I walked into the temple. You were there, abandoned and left to die.”  
  
“You know this how?”  
  
“You were small for a giant’s offspring, maybe a premature birth-- but I think merely small. We knew that Laufey had encouraged his army to fight by saying that they would make the Earth safe for you. After they fled our armies, Heimdall saw and heard him abandon you because you were the cause of their defeat: a small son was worse than no son at all. So he sacrificed you in the vain hope that his armies would win on their home soil.”  
  
Loki sat down, hard, in one of the wooden chairs in front of Odin’s desk. Frigga came around the desk and placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder, but he flinched and she removed it, sitting down in the other chair instead. “Loki…”  
  
Loki licked his lips and found his voice, dragging his scattered thoughts back to some semblance of order. “You are sure.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“So why did you take me?”  
  
“At the time, I only recognized you as Laufey’s son. You shifted in my hands and I found it charming. I knew it would be easier to keep you warm and safe in Asgardian form until I was able to return you to your family-- but I swiftly learned from a captive Jotun what Laufey had done. So I decided to keep you and raise you as my own, partly in hope of one day finding a permanent peace between our peoples.”  
  
Loki laughed. “And I upset those plans by becoming a wizard. Now Laufey would kill me twice over. I dare not step foot on Jotunheim now. Your plan for peace failed.”  
  
“No, Loki.” Frigga reached over and hesitated before placing a hand on top of Loki’s. “It did not, because your father never put it into motion. Once I learned the details of why you were in the temple, I knew you could never return. You became our son and nothing else.”  
  
Loki looked at her. “But that does not explain why you never told me.”  
  
“You are our son, Loki,” Odin said. “That is the only thing that matters.”  
  
He stood up, clenching his fists. “ _Not to a wizard_.” Frigga flinched and Odin’s eye flickered away. They knew full well, then, and had decided not to tell him regardless. “Why did you decide not to, knowing that?”  
  
“It seemed to not matter,” Frigga eventually said. “Your spells work.”  
  
“But… but it’s a part of me that should not have been hidden.”  
  
“Did you think to consider what would have happened had we not hidden your origins from you and the rest of Asgard?” Odin said.  
  
“I would likely have died before my fifth decade.” He knew that. He remembered the tales of the horrible Jotuns that would hide under bad boys’ beds at night and gobble them up. He heard the talk of the warriors, the songs that were song in the taverns, mead halls, and at feasts. “But when I was older? When I became a wizard? Why not then?”  
  
Frigga sighed. “You had gone through enough difficulties. We felt it best that we did not place another one on you.”  
  
Loki closed his eyes and took several slow, deep breaths. “You were wrong.”  
  
Yes, it would have made an already difficult time worse. But he would have known, would not have thought himself Asgardian for another century. Would not have thought that Odin would change his mind about his being in the line of succession. Odin would never let a Frost Giant sit on Asgard’s throne.  
  
Stiffly, he said, “If you will excuse me.”  
  
He did not wait for either of them to respond before he ended the anti-eavesdropping spell and walked out of the study, ignoring the way they called after him. He kept walking out of the palace and then teleported to Ben’s house. He appeared on the narrow street with a bang and he winced. He normally remembered to equalize air pressure. The door to the walled courtyard flew open and Ben’s mother stalked out. “Bengeirr Halmason! What have I--” She stopped. “I’m sorry, Prince Loki. Ben isn’t home right now, but he should be here soon. Would you like to wait inside for him?”  
  
Loki nodded and followed her into the courtyard. He sat down on the latticework wrought iron chair near the small fountain in the corner. Ben’s mother bustled inside and came out moments later carrying a tray of some sort, which she placed on the table in front of him. She tilted her head and sat down. “I know that the last thing you want to do is talk to your friend’s mother, but you do not look well.”  
  
Loki shook his head. “Something… I learned something. And I think… I think I need to talk to another wizard about it.”  
  
She gave him a wry look. “Wizardry does run in my family, Loki. I may never have left Asgard, but that makes me no less of one.”  
  
Loki felt his face flush. “I’m sorry. I forgot.”  
  
“But the point about not wanting to talk to your friend’s mother, hmm?”  
  
Loki sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying not to cry. “It’s personal. And I don’t think non-wizards would accept it and I’m not even sure wizards will.”  
  
“Ah.” She poured him a cup of tea and handed it to him.  
  
He lifted it to his mouth. Chamomile. She  _would_  give him that.  
  
“The cookies?”  
  
“Shortbread I baked yesterday.” She leaned back in her chair. “Loki, you’re pale and clammy. You rushed over here in such a frenzy that you forgot an aspect of a spell that you learned not a month after you learned to teleport.”  
  
She was right. But he still didn’t want any. “My anger is keeping me going.”  
  
“Is it? Or will it be easier to tell Ben if you’re calmer?”  
  
Damn her, she was right. But he’d only drank half the cup when his friend walked in the gate carrying several bags of groceries. He smiled when he saw Loki. “Let me put these away.”  
  
Loki nodded and drained the rest of his cup. Ben’s mother made to stand, but Loki shook his head. “Your perspective… might be welcome.”  
  
She sat back down, her expression and body language now more worried than concerned, especially when he put the anti-eavesdropping spell into place along the courtyard walls. A few minutes of listening to Ben banging the cupboards in the kitchen, the birdsong in the neighborhood’s trees, and the flowing water in the fountain did not help his agitation. Ben joined them, looking curiously at his mother, and then at Loki. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“I looked into why I shapeshifted so easily. Apparently, it’s another paramagic talent I was born with.”  
  
“But that’s not why you have no color in your face.”  
  
Loki shook his head and looked down at his hands, clasping them tight enough to hurt. “I also learned that I’m adopted-- and a Jotun by birth.”  
  
A brief moment of silence and he knew he’d made a mistake telling them, despite them being wizards. No one would--  
  
“Sweet Powers, child. No wonder.” Ben’s mother got up and hugged him. Loki froze and then stared at her when she released him.  
  
Ben said, “Anything else?”  
  
“Odin and Frigga deliberately did not tell me after I became a wizard despite the truth being so important to us.”  
  
Ben grimaced. “And that’s when you walked out on them, isn’t it? And you don’t want to return.” Loki shook his head. “All right, then. Stay here tonight. Give everyone a chance to calm down.”  
  
Loki stared at him. “You don’t mind? You don’t  _care_  that I’m a monster?”  
  
“Loki…”  
  
He looked up at Ben’s mother. “What?”  
  
“I know you are overwrought and I think staying here tonight would be best, but you are a wizard. And no species is a monster.”  
  
“They invaded Earth. Laufey abandoned me because I was too small! And you expect me to treat them--”  
  
Ben grabbed his hands and pulled them apart. Loki hadn’t even been aware how tightly he’d grasped them together. “Stop it. Let’s go inside. Mother…”  
  
Together, they bundled him inside and onto the couch. Ben’s mother handed him another cup of tea. He drank it mechanically, but it did help calm his racing mind. “I… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stay on Asgard. I can’t.”  
  
Ben’s mother said, “We’ll talk about that later, dear. Now: what exactly happened?”  
  
He told them, bit by bit. Ben stayed silent at Loki’s side the entire time. When Loki finally stopped talking, he put a blanket around his shoulders. Loki wrapped the ends around himself and held them together. Ben said, “Why don’t you nap? It looks like you need it.”  
  
Loki nodded, suddenly too tired to do anything else. Ben’s mother said, “I’ll contact your parents to let them know you’re spending the night here. We’ll talk more after dinner.”  
  
Ben stood up and Loki lay down after unlacing his boots and letting them drop onto the floor. He closed his eyes and let the world fade away, though he didn’t actually fall asleep.  
  
Ben say, “I’m worried about him, Mom. I’ve never heard him speak about the Jotuns that way before.”  
  
“He was raised as so many are, Ben. And a century as a wizard doesn’t erase the harm the past caused so easily.” She sighed. “I need to make some calls. Stay with him, Ben. He didn’t realize he was hurting himself.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Loki heard Ben sit on the floor next to the couch and felt the couch jostle when his friend leaned against it. He heard Ben’s mother leave the room, but while he could hear her talking, he couldn’t understand it.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
He woke up when Ben nudge his shoulder. Loki sat up and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t thought he’d fall asleep. He looked up at his friend, who asked, “How do you feel?”  
  
Loki frowned. “Empty. Wrung out like a wet shirt.” He looked down at his hands and the faint bruising on one of them. “Did your mother--?”  
  
“Your parents know you’re staying here tonight. And Helga will be by after supper.”  
  
Loki blinked and stood up. Supper smelled fantastic. He folded the blanket and draped it over the back of the couch. “Why?”  
  
“To talk to you.”  
  
Loki snorted. “I can think of half a dozen reasons why.”  
  
“I don’t know why. I think it has to do with getting you off-world. But I don’t know.”  
  
He trailed after Ben into the dining room, where he greeted Ben’s father and two little brothers. He didn’t speak much, simply ate the spicy stew and the fresh bread, before returning to the living room to play game after game of tafl with Ben. The younger boys were chivvied upstairs by their father, who stayed with them, and Loki ignored the thumps and occasional shouts of laughter.  
  
Finally, the doorbell rang and Ben’s mother answered it. “Thank you for coming, Helga.”  
  
Two sets of footsteps came up the hallway into the living room. Loki lifted his head from the gameboard. Helga and Ben’s mother sat down in two of the empty chairs. “Did she tell you what happened?”  
  
Helga nodded. “I would like the details from you, however.”  
  
He told her everything and then back against the couch with his arms crossed. “I want to leave Asgard.”  
  
Helga sighed. “Unfortunately, while I could arrange a noninterventional excursus for you, I do not believe that it would be the wise course of action for you-- or for your family.”  
  
Loki nodded. Spending a couple of weeks with another family to explore wizardry on their world and then returning to Asgard while another wizard spent those same weeks with  _his_  family was not what he wished for. “What about my just… leaving?”  
  
“At your age, you do in fact need parental permission for something that isn’t errantry.” She held up a hand when Loki opened his mouth to argue. “And in your state of mind, I do not think it wise regardless.”  
  
Loki’s jaw closed with a snap and he breathed hard through his nose. “I do not feel safe on Asgard, Planetary, and now you inform me that you are restricting my travel? I--”  
  
Ben said, “Loki. You’re safe here.”  
  
He took several deep breaths, not liking the way everyone was looking at him. “I’m a Jotun. I don’t belong here.”  
  
“Bullshit,” Ben’s mother said. “You were raised here. Of course you belong on Asgard! Your parents love you, Loki. They were  _relieved_  when I talked to them.”  
  
“Of course they were! It meant they didn’t have to worry about their pet monster roaming the streets!”  
  
Ben said, shoving the tafl board away, “You’re no more a monster than I am.”  
  
“I’m a Jotun. By definition--”  
  
“Why are you so convinced that being a Jotun automatically makes you a monster?” Helga broke in.  
  
“I… What else can I be? Why else would Odin…? He said that he took me to bring about peace and that the plan no longer matters. He thinks I’m useless, especially since I became a wizard. I’m unofficially outside the line of succession thanks to that.”  
  
“Do you believe wizards are monsters?”  
  
“Never!” Loki scowled. “You are trying to trap me with my own words.”  
  
“No, I’m trying to make you see the holes in your logic. Wizards cannot be monsters. Jotuns are wizards. Therefore, they cannot be monsters. You are a wizard; therefore--”  
  
“I cannot be one.” Loki sighed. “What do you want of me? Not all Jotuns are wizards.”  
  
“But that doesn’t make them monsters. Have you read about them in the manual at all?”  
  
“A little. I know it’s unwizardlike behavior, but I couldn’t stomach reading much. Now? I don’t think I’ll be able to read any.”  
  
“I don’t want you to.”  
  
Loki stared at Helga. She didn’t  _want_  him to? “Knowledge is--”  
  
“Are you ready to accept what you read?” Loki shook his head. “You’re also not ready to hear any of the details about their culture that I know. I would tell them to you in the Speech if it would help, so don’t go thinking I’d make them up to soothe you.” She sighed. “Right now, I think it would be best if you stayed here until you feel ready to live with your parents again. You need time and a bit of perspective. I will meet with your parents so that everyone can come to a satisfactory arrangement so they give you the time you need.”  
  
Loki straightened. “Thank you.”  
  
Helga gave him a wry look. “This won’t last forever, Loki. I’m not a miracle worker.”  
  
“I know.” But even a few weeks away would let him begin to adjust.  
  
“Nor will I countenance you leaving Asgard.”  
  
But if he did, he would be among people who wouldn’t care he was a Jotun, if they even knew what that was. He could be among wizards--  
  
He was among wizards here, all of whom were trying to help him. But he didn’t deserve--  
  
The wizards on Jotunheim didn’t deserve to be killed simply for being wizards. But who made that law? Laufey. Laufey ensured it was enforced. But that didn’t mean the entire population of Jotunheim agreed with it. If they did, wizards simply wouldn’t exist there. It was Laufey who was the monster.  
  
And monsters deserved to die. A chill went down Loki’s spine when he realized exactly how close he was to, if not losing his wizardry, but his sanity and any respect from the Powers, his friends, and his fellow wizards he’d gained. Cold-blooded murder was not something he had ever contemplated before. Killing in self-dense, in battle: yes. But planning deliberately, out of nothing more than a desire to see someone dead? No. He whispered, “I want to kill Laufey.”  
  
Ben gasped and his mother put her hand to her mouth, but Helga remained almost suspiciously calm. “Why?”  
  
“He’s a monster. He’s killed so many, made so many wizards die.” He whispered, “He abandoned me to die.”  
  
“So what makes you believe that he is your father and your family here is merely tolerating you?”  
  
Loki looked at her. “Doesn’t blood always out? I’m proof-- I’m contemplating murder. I’m my father’s son.”  
  
“Or you could claim as father the man who rescued you, who raised you as his own, and treated you as his son. Odin may not understand you, but he  _chose_  you. Does that count for nothing?”  
  
“Nature versus nurture.” Loki smiled grimly. “What rules in the end?”  
  
“That is up for continual debate, but you known as well as I do that both play a role. More importantly, you are hardly the only Asgardian who wishes to see Laufey dead. You are, however, one of the few who has the ability to carry it out. I must warn you: if you choose this path, I will alert the All-father, Heimdall, and the Einherjar. Your wizardry travel will be restricted; you will be unable to use either a personal worldgate or the public one to leave Asgard. And the Powers--”  
  
“I know.” Repercussions played out in his mind. He would, at best, be incredibly restricted with his wizardry, if he didn’t outright lose it. And  _that_  he could never stand. In addition, he would likely restart the war, no matter if Laufey survived or not. And that was true whether or not Loki himself survived the attempt. “I won’t. I don’t want to even see him. I just want him dead.”  
  
Helga said quietly, “That is understandable, given how he treated you. But it is one more reason why I am restricting your travel.”  
  
Loki nodded. One day, hopefully soon, he would be able to leave Asgard again. But he would avoid Jotunheim. At the very least, he would keep the fragile peace between the Realms, for Asgard’s sake. “What else?”  
  
Ben’s mother said, “We’ll discuss that after Helga tells us what your parents wish to do.”  
  
Loki thinned his lips, but nodded. If they wanted him back in the palace, there were very few who would stand against Odin, though Helga was one of them. She took the care of her wizards seriously.  
  
Ben reached out and squeezed Loki’s hand. “You’re safe here, Loki.”  
  
“I know.” He just wished he could calm down enough to believe it.  
  
Helga stood. “I brought a box of pastries from the bakery. I suggest you eat one. I will contact you within two hours to inform you of what your parents agreed to.”  
  
Ben’s mother stood and escorted Helga out of the house, bringing a plate with several pastries on it. Loki side-eyed them, knowing that Helga often worked spells into them, and finally took the smallest. He wasn’t hungry, but knew better than to ignore a suggestion from a Planetary wizard.  
  
Ben put the tafl board back in front of him. “Shall we?”  
  
Loki held back a sigh and let his friend attempt to distract him.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki stood between Helga and Ben’s mother in the small family receiving room in the palace, tired from not having slept well. Odin and Frigga faced them, Frigga holding her hands clasped tightly together in front of her, an almost painful expression of hope on her face. Loki looked instead at Odin, who looked both furious and resigned.  
  
Loki took a small step forward. “For the time being, it is best that I do not reside here.”  
  
Frigga’s expression shattered. “Loki…”  
  
Odin said, piercing him with his one-eyed gaze, “When will you return? Court will--”  
  
“Damn the court!” Loki snarled. “If they ask directly, tell them I needed time away from the palace. If they don’t, say nothing. Let’s see how many of them notice or care.”  
  
Odin was visibly taken aback. “You believe that few of them care--”  
  
“I  _know_  few of them do. I’m a wizard, All-father, and thus of no use to any of them.”  
  
Ben’s mother placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder and he shut up. He’d promised to remain civil. She said, “We are happy to have your son stay with us for while.”  
  
“We never meant to hurt you, Loki,” Frigga said.  
  
“You did anyway.”  
  
Odin said, looking not at Loki, but at the adults behind him, “Do you think a month is too much time away?”  
  
Helga said, “I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we’d all prefer if the precipitating situation was a little less immediate before you begin to explore your changed family dynamics.”  
  
Frigga frowned. No, Loki rather thought she’d prefer him here so she could watch out for him. But being here solely for this conversation was hard enough.  
  
“Will we be allowed contact with him?” she asked.  
  
“Only if he initiates it,” Ben’s mother said. “I will call with daily updates if you wish.”  
  
“Yes, please do. But--”  
  
Odin wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “What will happen later?”  
  
“When I’m able to stand living with you again, I will return.” Loki kept his voice flat. He knew it was cruel to state it that way-- and was far less civil than he’d promised-- but he was having a hard enough time keeping a grip on his temper when around people who wouldn’t or couldn’t use the Speech to ensure they knew he knew they weren’t lying. Especially when he was having a difficult enough time believing they loved him.  
  
Odin growled, “You will treat us with more respect than that.”  
  
When Loki opened his mouth, Ben’s mother squeezed his shoulder and he shut it. She said, “Why don’t you go pack? We’ll review the details.”  
  
Frigga nodded, and while Odin looked as if he wanted to say something, he didn’t. Loki knew better than to argue-- he  _had_  promised and broken it almost immediately-- so he left the room and Ben stood up from his seat on the bench outside of the door. They started walking down the hall to Loki’s chambers. “Didn’t go well, I take it?”  
  
“Helga and your mother aren’t going to take any revisions of the agreement Helga made last night for an answer. Your mother told me to pack.” Loki grimaced. “I was making the situation worse.”  
  
“Given your temper, I’m not surprised,” Ben said. “Come on. Sooner done, the sooner we can leave.”  
  
Loki unlocked his door and ushered Ben in. He shut the door, but didn’t lock it in case the adults were done sooner than he suspected they would be. He looked around the chamber stuffed full of bookcases and other odds and ends, suddenly unsure what to bring. The guest bedroom was small; half the size of his bedchamber. Their entire house could fit inside his chambers.  
  
“Clothes,” Ben said. “Casual ones, and a couple of semiformal outfits, too.”  
  
Loki shook his head, trying to dislodge the thoughts that kept breaking his concentration, and followed Ben into his bedroom. Loki pulled out a leather bag from the depths of the closet and pulled open a dresser drawer. Some clothes truly were too formal for his new, temporary life. Others he wouldn’t wear outside of his chambers. He shut it and sighed before pulling it open and revising his standards. He likely wouldn’t go out into public much, though he would pack a couple of nicer outfits for the times he did.  
  
After they’d packed his clothes and toiletries, they stepped into the main chamber just in time to hear the door open. Thor called out, “Loki!” He stopped and looked at him. “What are you doing?”  
  
“Packing.”  
  
Thor stared at him. “Why?” He gestured at the hallway. “Loki, things have been strange around here since you ran off. What happened?”  
  
Loki rubbed his forehead and gestured with his other hand to flick the door shut with wizardry. “Do you really want to know?”  
  
Thor crossed his arms. “I can guess at most of it. You argued with Mother and Father and now you’ve convinced Ben’s family to take you in for the moment. You’re not leaving on errantry; you wouldn’t be carrying a bag because you’d use your otherspace pocket.”  
  
“Not terribly far off,” Loki said, letting a sharp smile slide onto his face. “But it wasn’t so much of an argument has my learning something they’d kept from me-- from  _us_ \-- that they shouldn’t have. I did not and am not reacting well to it.”  
  
“You still haven’t explained.” Thor looked increasingly worried. “Loki--”  
  
In the Speech, Loki said, “I was born on Jotunheim. My birth father is Laufey. He abandoned me to die and Odin found me and raised me. They never told either one of us the truth. They didn’t consider what the truth means to me, above and beyond my wizardry. I confronted them. I left and am remaining away until I’m no longer clinging to the threads of my sanity. Odin and Frigga are making grasping them difficult.”  
  
Thor’s expression had morphed into horror. “Loki, what do you mean by this?”  
  
“Go ask Odin if you don’t believe me.”  
  
He stormed away, back into his bedchamber, and slammed the door shut behind him. He heard Ben pound on it once and then yank it open. “Your-- Thor won’t leave, Loki.”  
  
Loki sighed through his nose. “Fine.” He marched back out and up to Thor, getting in his face. “You heard me well enough the first time. I do not care to repeat the sordid tale again. I’ve done that  _far_  too often in the past day.”  
  
Thor backed up a couple of steps. “I’m trying to understand.” His breath shook as he inhaled. “You were born to Laufey, who tried to kill you. Father found you, raised you to-- if not to hate the Jotuns-- to fear them, and kept the truth of your origin from you. Mother kept quiet, too. And when you became a wizard, despite knowing that you rely on the truth, they did not tell you. You discovered this on your own and you reacted poorly.”  
  
Loki smiled sharply. “Poorly is an understatement.”  
  
Thor got a bullheaded look on his face, “Loki, you can’t really believe--”  
  
“Last week, you said you’d happily kill any Jotun who dared show his face on Asgard.” Loki spread his arms. “Here’s your chance.”  
  
Thor’s jaw dropped open and he glanced at Ben, who said nothing to contradict what Loki had just told him. Thor closed his mouth and left the room, fists clenched. Ben raised his eyebrows and went to close the door. Once he’d done so, he said, “Did that make you feel better?”  
  
Loki shook his head. “Let’s finish packing and leave.”  
  
He gathered up a few books and a couple of notebooks he’d kept the beginnings of projects in, placing them in his otherspace pocket. They left Loki’s chambers just as the adults came out of the receiving room. Loki and Ben walked over to them, Loki doing his best to ignore his adoptive parents. Thor was nowhere to be seen or heard. But Frigga pulled him into a hug when he walked by and released him when he stiffened. “Just remember we love you.”  
  
“Farewell.” He ignored Odin entirely and left with Ben’s family and Helga, ignoring the disapproving glance she threw at him. He knew full well he should have been more polite, but he truly could not bring himself to care. Not when Thor seemed to disbelieve him despite him saying everything in the Speech. Not when his adoptive parents didn’t seem to understand how he felt and why he reacted the way he did.  
  
When they returned to Ben’s family’s house, after he unpacked, Loki spent the rest of the morning outside in a chair by the fountain, ignoring all attempts to talk to him.  
  
Come lunch, though, Ben’s mother handed him a plate with a simple sandwich on it and said, “You need to write to your parents to apologize for the way you treated them this morning. I do not mean you should do it immediately, or even tonight. But tomorrow or the day after at the latest.”  
  
He nodded, not liking the flush of shame that crept up his neck and face. Focus of his rage they may be, but he was still raised a prince and should have acted like it. “Tomorrow.”  
  
Rather than stew in silence, he let Ben draw him into a conversation about wizardry on other planets. It was as interesting and neutral topic as they were likely to find right now. And that was fine by Loki. He wasn’t ready to talk about anything else. Figuring out how to learn to live with his new reality was something he had to do on his own.


	7. The Song in the Darkness

Loki swung himself into the cave and leaned against the lip to catch his breath. The view from the entrance was spectacular, overlooking one of the fjords and some of the golden and stone buildings and constructs Asgardians had built over the millennia. He took a swallow of water, ate a handful of dried berries, and stood up to explore the cave, whispering a wizard light into existence.  
  
Only a few meters away, horizontal lines of glittering blue-green opalescence streaked the walls. He made his way across the floor-- the cave shaped like someone had stabbed it with a knife-- and reached up to touch one, reminded of the Bifrost. He took a step deeper into the cave, running a hand along the streak.  
  
His next step brought him into clear air under a sky and clouds colored a pale, sickly green. He spun around, dirt rising in a cloud at his feet. There was nothing there. He took a step forward and then another. He let out a laugh and then buried his face in his hands.  
  
Reminiscent of the Bifrost indeed. Rather, it was likely the  _original_  Bifrost, long lost to time and memory. And apparently unidirectional. He would either have to worldgate home or use the Bifrost.  
  
At least he was still in the Nine Realms; he had spent time here training Thor to properly wield Mjolnir. Svartalfheim was an inconvenience, not a threat. The tunnel could have dropped him in Muspelheim.  
  
He sat down on a nearby boulder. He needed to do research about ancient paths off Asgard. Were there other ways that had been forgotten, found only in hints in the myths and legends? Could he control where this one had dropped him? If he used a skiff-- the cave would just be wide enough-- he would have supplies needed for days in the wild and an ability to move swiftly from place to place without exhausting himself.  
  
Right now, the easiest place to begin his research would be the Crossings museum. And it would give him an excuse to see the facility.  
  
He pulled out his manual and located the spell that would gate him to the Nontypical Transit area and spoke it.  
  
Svartalfheim’s clouds were replaced by the Crossing’s famous ceiling. Being daytime, its multiple, overlapping, multicolored pieces flowed in random patterns, ever-changing. It made for an interesting effect and one he wondered if he could replicate with illusions. He exited the Nontypical Transit area and made his way across the white floor to the nearest gate indicator. He placed his hand on it and said, “Gating information for Asgard?”  
  
The spiky green lettering changed in blue Speech characters. Wing one, gate 353, time to departure in fours hours. Perfect. It would give him time to find a meal and a brief exploration of the museum, using wizardry to help him find anything related to Asgard. He removed his hand from the black cylinder, which went back to flashing its programming. He walked away, into the midst of the crowds of hundreds of aliens species, and left the crowd near a seating area when he realized he was becoming overwhelmed.  
  
Asgard was largely homogenous, despite the several species that made up the Nine Realms. But all of them were bipedal and somewhat Asgardian-shaped in form. Here, people like him were rare, though he thought he spotted a human couple hurrying by. Knowing how  _asdurrafrith_  Midgard was (they were barely aware that other planets in their solar system existed, much less that others orbited other stars and that their Milky Way was one galaxy among millions), he wondered what they thought of all of this. But he did not know where they were traveling or even seen where they went in this crowd of crawling, walking, hopping, flowing, and other forms of movement beings.  
  
He sat down on the edge of a seat that looked comfortable enough. He did not want to admit to himself exactly how enthralled by the various forms of life he was at the same time he was terrified. Helga had warned him that the Crossings would be a shock to anyone used to the Nine Realms, that there was a difference between reading about other sapient life and actually meeting it. She was right-- but he was determined to not let his fear rule him. What sort of wizard would he be if he couldn’t travel if necessary?  
  
He stood up and walked up a flight of stairs to the restaurant Ben had suggested he try if he ever managed to visit the Crossings. He entered and a scarlet Rirhait gestured him to a table with its sole empty front leg. Loki sat down and put his manual on the table next to him. The menu popped up out of the table and Loki stared at it. “Um, foods fit for Asgardians?”  
  
The display whizzed and then cleared, with only marginally fewer options. “Foods from the Nine Realms.”  
  
The menu whizzed again and then cleared. This time, the choices were far easier to make-- and he decided to  _not_  eat anything Asgardian. He may not be entirely ready for the journey, he’d realized to his annoyance, but he would not subsist on foods that he could recognize. “Nothing from Asgard, Jotunheim, Svartalfheim, Nornheim, or Muspelheim.”  
  
There. Food and drinks from the other Realms populated the menu. “Drinks.”  
  
He scanned the list and titled his head a brown concoction from Midgard. “Hot chocolate. Food now, please.”  
  
He then selected a noodle dish from a sea port in Vanaheim he’d never been to and settled in to wait for his meal. It wasn’t long in coming and the Rirhait who’d directed him to this table delivered them. “Good choice on the chocolate. It’s a new delicacy from Earth: highly prized. We’re the only restaurant here who sells it.”  
  
Loki nodded his thanks and took a sip, raising his eyebrows at the sweet taste. It did not, however, pair well with the noodle dish, so he asked for and received a glass of water, saving the hot chocolate for dessert, though he needed to use a spell to reheat it. After he finished, he flipped his manual open to check the time. Three hours until his gate home went patent. He fished in his otherspace pocket for the coins he needed to pay for his meal because, not being on errantry, the cost would not be deducted from his personal energy levels.  
  
Loki went to the museum, spending a little while reading through the exhibits on how worldgates functioned and their history on Rirhath B before turning the finding spell loose. The  _only_  things in the museum, even in the archives that he as a wizard could access, were the Bifrost and that Asgard had a legacy worldgate number, though few who weren’t wizards used the gate.  
  
Loki left the museum in disgust and, after using the restroom, made his way to Asgard’s gate, sitting down on a bench within sight of it. There was less than an hour to go, so it was the perfect time to begin the research in his manual.  
  
When he stepped through the patent gate and walked by the bakery counter to reach the clear area for teleporting, Helga looked up and smiled at him. “I wondered when you’d sneak away to the Crossings.”  
  
Loki smiled. “I’m going back soon. I didn’t see nearly enough of it.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Over the next few years, Loki found more and more paths off Asgard. Some were little, mere cracks that led through the Void. Others were proper worldgates that behaved like natural worldgates: sometimes they let things into Asgard, sometimes they let thing out. Only one was a primitive Bifrost. But none of them were in populated areas, always hidden in crevices or ancient forests or behind waterfalls. One he found in the palace itself and did his best to seal the dead-end dusty passage it was in off from the rest of the building.  
  
Five years after his first discovery, Loki stepped through the worldgate from the Crossings, Helga met him with her arms crossed. “We need to talk.”  
  
Loki silently followed her into her office.  
  
She sat down behind her desk with a serious look on her face. “I’ve checked the logs. You aren’t gating from Asgard to the Crossings. The Stationmaster confirmed that you have done so from other Realms. How are you getting there if you aren’t using the Bifrost or a personal gate?”  
  
Loki opened his manual to his notes. “There are other ways off Asgard. I’ve been researching and documenting them for about five years.”  
  
She stared at him and then down at his manual, flipping through the pages. “An independent research project using old myths to confirm… You need to tell the All-father about them. Today.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” Loki knew better than to argue when she had that tone in her voice.  
  
She shook her head, a fond smile on her face. “You don’t do things by halves, do you, Loki? You’re not in trouble with the Powers or myself. But they are security risks. Why did you not tell anyone?”  
  
Loki sighed and took back his manual from Helga’s outstretched hand. “Worldgating, using the Bifrost: it’s normal. There’s nothing new to research. This is lost knowledge. And--” He broke off, not wanting to reveal that much of his motives.  
  
“And what?”  
  
“I wanted a little glory for myself.”  
  
Helga sighed. “You cannot compare yourself to your brother.”  
  
“When all of court is doing it and finding you lacking? I’d like to see  _you_  try not to be envious.”  
  
“Envy is not necessarily a problem. Your reaction to it is.”  
  
Loki broke her gaze. “I know. I try not to be. But he’s Thor. And I’m… I’m a wizard who no one can ever know that I’m adopted, much less where I’m adopted from. Apart from a few friends, no one cares to understand my choices. They simply assume that Thor will be the crown prince because wizards are not fit to rule.”  
  
“You need to ask yourself if the responsibilities of being the heir and then the king are things you truly desire. You would be inescapably tethered to Asgard for the rest of your life, far beyond what being a member of the royal house entails.” She tilted her head. “Think about it, Loki.”  
  
He nodded and let himself out of her office.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Two hours later, Loki walked into Odin’s office and shut the door behind him. Odin raised an eyebrow. “What is it, Loki?”  
  
In response, Loki flipped his manual open to the map where he’d marked the location of every path off Asgard. “These are paths off Asgard. Some of them need magic or wizardry to enter; others don’t. The latter are in red. The different shapes mean what sort of path they are.”  
  
Odin stood, staring down at it and then piercing Loki with that gaze. “How long have you known about them?”  
  
“I began finding them about five years ago, All-father. I made it a research project. I’d hoped to finish it before I presented the results to you.”  
  
“Five  _years_ ,”Odin growled.  
  
Loki swallowed. “I’ve been researching old myths and legends in the library and seeing if any hints they gave corresponded to locations. Most have not.”  
  
“ _You did not tell anyone_.”  
  
“No one knows of them, apart from Helga and you. None of them are in use.”  
  
Odin looked down at the map. “There’s one in the  _palace_ , Loki.”  
  
“I blocked that one off. No one can get through it. I may have wanted a finished project, but I’m not a fool.”  
  
Odin looked taken aback. “I never said you were.” He sat down. “After you are through explaining to me everything you’ve done, we will visit it to ensure that it is secure.”  
  
“I’m not in trouble?”  
  
Odin huffed. “Oh, you’re deep in it. For each passage, you aren’t to leave Asgard for a year.”  
  
Fifteen years stuck on Asgard just when he’d begun exploring the Realms on his own. Loki slid down in his seat and hurriedly sat up when his father raised an eyebrow. Loki pointed to a red triangle on the map. “I found this one first.”


	8. In the Service of Life

Loki stared at Odin. “You want me to do  _what_?”  
  
Odin stood up, placing his hands flat on his desk. “Killing a bilgesnipe by yourself is the coming of age ceremony! It has been for millennia. You will  _not_  wiggle your way out of it.”  
  
Loki took several deep breaths. “It goes against my Oath as a wizard to kill unnecessarily.”  
  
Odin’s one eye speared him. “Imagine the consequences if the second prince of Asgard fails to complete the ceremony that all noblemen must go through.”  
  
There were plenty, not the least of people saying he wasn’t a true adult and continuing to treat him as a child. Being called a coward he could handle; after all, some of them had done it to his face when he refused to fight as Asgardian normally did and found other ways to solve his problems. And the political repercussions… They would be many, varied, and ranged from negligible to insurmountable-- and apt to appear at odd moments.  
  
He met Odin’s eye and said, “I will not break my Oath.”  
  
“This is not a request. It is an order. I will not allow allow you to overturn thousands of years of tradition.”  
  
“All-father, with all due respect, I place my wizardry higher than tradition that you have  _already_  overturned for Lady Sif.”  
  
“It is an easier matter to allow one warrior, no matter her sex, to complete the hunt than for one to entirely ignore it!”  
  
“I am not a warrior.” Trained to be one because an Odinson couldn’t refuse, but he was a wizard first.  
  
Odin stood, glaring. “You are. I know what your Oath says, Loki Odinson, and it places you directly into the front lines of battle against the Lone One.”  
  
“Which is why I refuse to kill a bilgesnipe that is threatening no harm to anyone.” He paused. “Nor will I countenance you deciding that the best way to make me complete this travesty is to set one up to be a threat to one of the villages. What sort of king would you be if you did?”  
  
“What sort of king will I be if my son does not complete the hunt?”  
  
“What sort of king will you be if you force your son to contravene an Oath that the universe respects?” Loki sat down and Odin slowly followed suit. “Father--”  
  
“I do not believe that we will ever come to an agreement about this.”  
  
Loki half-smiled. “That’s what you told Thor when Sif made her desire clear and he argued her case. Yet she succeeded better than almost all of the noblemen in the past few centuries.”  
  
Court was still gossiping about it more than half a year later. Yet it had cemented her place as one of Asgard’s fiercest warriors.  
  
Odin gave him a wry look. “This is not helping you. If a woman--”  
  
“Who was entirely suited for the tradition succeeded, that does not make it right for a wizard to do so.”  
  
“You are torn between tradition as old as Asgard and a vow you live every moment of every day. Do not think I am unaware of how it wears on you or how the lack of understanding from your peers isolates you. Refusing this hunt will isolate you further.”  
  
“Not from the commoners. None of them complete hunts when they become adults.”  
  
Odin rubbed his forehead. “You are no commoner, though the majority of your friends are. Loki, tradition is valuable--”  
  
“Yes, it is, which is why I didn’t speak against Thor completing the hunt nor anyone else. They are not wizards. I am. And I have responsibilities that they do not. This is one tradition that I cannot uphold, Father.”  
  
“I simply cannot hold a feast for you like the nobles do for their daughters. It would be tantamount to declaring you useless. You need to prove that you can lead in a battle, Loki, and that means showing your skills to the populace.”  
  
Loki tilted his head. “Arrange a demonstration in the training yards against opponents General Tyr will choose. I will swear publicly that I will use neither wizardry nor magic against them. If it’s recorded and broadcast, then the people will see that I am capable of defending Asgard in a traditional manner. And then you can hold the celebratory feast.”  
  
“If you lose--”  
  
“Thor could have died facing the bilgesnipe. There are always those who are injured who cannot complete the hunt and  _they_  still have a feast. It is the act of trying.”  
  
“Not always.” Not for the royal family went unspoken. If Thor would have failed, it would have been viewed as a terrible omen. And now Loki was refusing to… Yet Asgard knew he was a wizard.  
  
“What else is there for me to do? I cannot complete the hunt as it is traditionally done.”  
  
Odin’s eye gleamed. “You hunt a bilgesnipe, and rather than kill it, you paint the seal of the royal house on it.”  
  
Loki swallowed. That would could be even more dangerous than hunting it. And he would be forbidden by tradition of using either wizardry or magic to ensure it held still long enough for him to safely paint the seal. “I will do this, if you think it an acceptable substitute.”  
  
“I do.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
The day of Loki’s dawned sunny, though he’d ignored the sunrise in favor of going over his supplies one more time. Thor sat on the couch. “Are you sure you won’t take a spear?”  
  
“I’m taking a throwing knife, Thor. You know damn well I’m trying not to hurt the thing.”  
  
Thor shook his head, though he didn’t make a comment. Loki had already fought with him once about it. “And what is this chocolate you wanted at your feast? It’s Midgardian, Loki! It can’t be worth the trouble that the kitchens went to to acquire enough of it.”  
  
Loki hid a smile under the pretense of placing the paint canister into its holder in his bag. “Thor, I like it. And it’s my coming of age, so hush.”  
  
“All right.” Once Loki buckled his bag shut, Thor pulled him into a hug. “Be careful, Loki.”  
  
“I will be just as careful as you were.”  
  
Thor laughed and released Loki. “I’m sure.”  
  
They both stood and Loki slung the bag over his shoulder. “Shall we?”  
  
They met their parents at the main entrance to the palace, where a skiff was already waiting for Loki. He tossed his bag inside, and greeted his parents, ignoring both the crowd and the media that would record every moment of this venture.  
  
Both Odin and he had been wrong about the reaction-- there was far more support for Loki’s ceremony than Odin had expected, from both the court and the citizenry. But there had been far more of an outcry about the change from the citizens as well. But he supposed that was only to be expected; noble wizards were not common and Asgard thrived on tradition.  
  
He bowed to Odin and said, “On this day of my coming of age, I will prove that I have the daring, courage, and intelligence to be a respected member of the court of Asgard.”  
  
Odin lay both hands on Loki’s shoulders. “Go well, then, and prove your worth.”  
  
He removed his hands and Loki bowed. He took a step back, the brief ceremony completed. Frigga pulled Loki into a hug and then let him go to the skiff. He pulled it into the air and hovered while his family and some of the court boarded the royal barge. Once they were in the air, Loki led the way to the forest near the mountains. Both the barge and several skiffs followed, the smallest and fastest the media skiff that would both be airing his hunt and recording his success as proof he had completed the hunt, as there would be no antlers as physical evidence.  
  
Loki landed the skiff in the large clearing where the master of the hunt had assured him was near a trail that a healthy, adult bilgesnipe used. Loki sighed, ignoring the hovering skiffs, and pulled the canister of gold paint out of the bag, clipping it to his belt, and only then slung the bag over his back. He could theoretically be out here for days, so he needed the food and inclement weather gear.  
  
Once at the trail, he spotted fresh prints heading toward the nearby brook. He crept through the woods, listening for any hints that the bilgesnipe was on the move. But he heard none and stopped when he saw the scaled creature drinking from the brook.  
  
Loki pulled the canister of paint off his belt and stalked forward, making sure his feet made no noise. He swung to the side, out of range of the deadly rear kicks, though now he would be visible. But the bilgesnipe paid no attention to him until the first curved line of the gold paint went onto the subtly patterned green hide.  
  
It lifted its head from the water and Loki froze, hardly daring to breathe. It snorted and shifted away, turning to face Loki.  
  
Shit. Loki backed slowly away toward the tree line, hoping that it wouldn’t run at him. It didn’t-- but it did run into the woods, trampling undergrowth. Loki sighed and clipped the paint back to his belt before trotting after it. One line down, two to go.  
  
It was another two hours before he caught up with it, though this time, it was sunning itself on a rock outside of what Loki supposed was its den. Which meant there could be more than one of the creatures around. But a careful scouting proved that even if it lived in a family group, none of the others were present. So Loki climbed up the rock, ignoring the barge and the skiffs hovering over the forest-- far enough away that their engine noises wouldn’t disturb the bilgesnipe.  
  
He silently crept toward the creature, pausing every so often to ensure that it was still asleep. Once he reached the side, he painted the two swift strokes needed to complete the royal seal and turned so that the media would record his face next to the paint. After counting to nine, he hurried as fast as he dared away from the creature and turned once he reached the edge of the ledge to climb back down. He sucked in a breath when he realized the bilgesnipe was watching him and scrambled down the boulders before it could decide he was a threat. He walked back into the forest; running at this point would simply look foolish. He used the bilgesnipe’s trail to return to his skiff, ignoring the celebration in the barge that he could hear flying above him.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
The feast was just as noisy and crowded as Loki had expected, though he rather enjoyed sitting at Odin’s right side for once, where either Frigga or Thor usually sat. But protocol otherwise remained in place and Loki’s friends were seated near him but not at the high table. The bitter chocolate bar and the much richer and sweeter chocolate cake were hardly consolation for putting up with the comments about how it was a shame his wizardry had prevented him from truly completing the ceremony as tradition demanded.  
  
Rather than lose his temper, he signaled the musicians to begin the dance songs and led Frigga onto the dance floor. After several dances with marriageable women, he excused himself and sat down with his friends.  
  
Ben grinned and raised a glass of the hot cocoa. “To Loki!”  
  
“Loki!” the rest of the table followed suit, though most had abandoned the hot chocolate after the meal began. Loki didn’t mind; it meant more for him in the days after the feast.  
  
Ben thunked his glass on the table. “When were you aware the bilgesnipe was watching you?”  
  
Loki sighed. “After I turned around to climb down. Watching the recording later was a bit of a shock.” The bilgesnipe has been awake the entire time.  
  
The table laughed and Sif asked, “Why do you think it didn’t attack you?”  
  
Loki tugged his tunic straight. “I don’t know. Maybe it realized I wasn’t hurting it. Maybe it didn’t think I could hurt it given I wasn’t carrying weapons. Or maybe it was just too confident in its ability to kill me or it was too relaxed to care. I don’t know-- and I don’t care enough to go back and  _ask_.”  
  
“Oh, come on--”  
  
“Ben, don’t push it. If you’re that curious, you go.”  
  
Ben shook his head, a grin on his face. “Have you heard how people are spinning the tale?”  
  
Loki snorted. “Depends on who you talk to. The old guard aren’t precisely happy, though there’s no denying that I had to get close to the bilgesnipe twice and got away unharmed both times. Asgard will adjust. And it’s not like I’m the  _important_  prince.”  
  
Sif rolled her eyes. “Don’t start that again, Loki. Just for one night, let it rest. And if you can’t do that, you owe me a dance.”  
  
In response, Loki stood up and led Sif onto the dance floor. “You know people will talk.”  
  
“It’s the court. When don’t they?”  
  
Loki snorted. “We’ve both managed to prove them wrong. I suppose they’ll shut up eventually.”  
  
“Yeah, when one or the both of us are married.”  
  
Loki sighed. That was one consequence of his adulthood that he didn’t want to think about. His parents had married for love, but there was no guarantee either Thor or he would be able to. And Thor had been of age for a decade with no sign of steady interest in anyone so far. The court’s internal politics were apt to be more vicious than not in the future now that both of them were available.  
  
And that despite Loki’s wizardry, which was something the court still gossiped about. “You have anyone in mind?”  
  
Sif laughed. “No more than you do. Come on, I’m thirsty.”  
  
She led him back off the dance floor and to their table, where Loki was more than happy to spend the rest of the evening.


	9. Truth to Power

Loki tossed the heavy blankets off himself when the alarm chimed. He groaned, not wanting to get out of bed in the midst of the worst winter Asgard had seen in years, but despite the lack of enforced outdoor activity-- when he’d gone to bed, they’d been in the midst of a raging blizzard-- there were still duties he had to perform. And his manual rested on his bedside table, the title blinking softly golden with the spell he’d performed to alert him to any messages or changes in status.  
  
He sent it a halfhearted glare and used wizardry to pull it over to himself. Of all the days, when he’d hoped to find time to curl up on the chair in front of his fireplace and read. He opened the book to his listing. On Errantry.  
  
Great. He liked the précis of the situation listed even less.  
  
Jotunheim. A specialist in the geography of the planet needed help stabilizing a glacier long enough for the sizable town beneath it to evacuate from both the threatened mudslides and flooding as well as from the lava from the sluggishly erupting volcano that originally caused the situation.  
  
Why him, given that his avoidance of the Realm was well-known to wizards and therefore the Powers?  
  
Loki rubbed his forehead, shut the manual, and left it on the bed to freshen up and dress for the climate he was now heading to.  
  
Facing the court today was preferable to his new situation. But he no longer had a choice unless he wanted the Powers That Be to angry with him, which he didn’t. He left the heavy coat off, leaving on his bed alongside his manual. He ran a hand over his hair, ensuring the oil would make it stay put in the wind on the ice planet, and then headed to breakfast.  
  
Odin raised an eyebrow when he came into the room and sat down. “Where are you headed?”  
  
Loki stabbed a piece of melon with a fork. “Jotunheim, via the worldgate.”  
  
He did not miss the glance his parents exchanged, nor the grimace that crossed Thor’s face. “I’ll be fine. They won’t dare to harm me.”  
  
Ah.  _That_  was the reason the Powers wanted him there: they thought he would be able to negotiate safety for the other wizards on the team if the soldiers helping to evacuate the town found them. He rather doubted it would work; their orders were to kill wizards on sight.  
  
Frigga said, “If you can, keep us appraised. What will you be doing?”  
  
“Preventing a flood.” Thor frowned, but then, he  _still_  didn’t understand that being a leader wasn’t all glorious. “I need to leave as soon as I finish eating.”  
  
Odin waved a hand. “Go, then.”  
  
“Thank you, All-father.” He’d been an adult for fifty years, but protocols demanded that he ask, however obliquely, for permission. He finished eating, returned to his chambers to grab his coat and manual, and left the palace for the Knotwork Cafe.  
  
The bakery workers looked up when he appeared in the open area for teleporting and back down to their work arranging the display cases for the morning crowd. His mouth watered at the smell of the fresh-baked goods but he had neither the time nor the appetite to order something. He put on his coat and walked down the hallway to the worldgate and stared at the blank space where it would appear when patent.  
  
Helga peered out of the kitchen at him and got an amused look on her face when she saw him scowling at the wall opposite him. “Is there trouble?”  
  
“Only off-Realm errantry.”  
  
“You look like you’d rather face a bilgesnipe.”  
  
Loki sighed. “I would. I’m headed to Jotunheim.”  
  
“Ah.” Her expression sobered, “Be careful there, Loki. Even you being prince does not guarantee your safety.”  
  
“I know.” And that was without the complication of his adoption that Laufey could never learn of.  
  
He read the spell to activate the worldgate and stepped through it, appearing on the other side in a cave kept empty of creatures sheltering from the elements by a constant ward and at least one Jotun’s presence. She looked rather startled. “You’re--”  
  
“Prince Loki, yes.”  
  
“Huh. Aerndís said she’d asked for off-world help in hopes you’d be safer if you caught the soldiers’ attention, but I wasn’t expecting you.”  
  
Loki gave her a wry smile. “Neither was I.”  
  
He looked out of the cave entrance to the dark, cold world. “Am I dressed warmly enough?”  
  
The Jotun snorted. “Maybe if you were going outside for a handful of minutes. Wear an environmental shield, Asgardian. It’ll be safer.”  
  
And much safer than shifting to his Jotun form. Which he’d only done twice, once for curiosity’s sake and once because he refused to let his birth form terrify him. But he never wanted to do it again.  
  
“I appreciate your help.”  
  
“We appreciate yours, Emissary.”  
  
Loki nodded, flipped open his manual to the page listing the coordinates for his assignment, and teleported there, making sure that there was no noise upon his arrival. Another Jotun-- Aerndís, he’d guess-- looked up from her study of the ground in front of her and smiled. She was pretty, surprisingly so. Loki shoved that thought away, determined to never think of it again.  
  
“I’m Aerndís,” she said, coming over to him. Her eyes widened when she drew close enough to see under his hood.  
  
Loki looked up into her face. “Why me?”  
  
She shrugged. “I just requested off-worlders; I didn’t choose them. Now, if your environmental spells will hold, I suggest lowering your hood. It might be your only chance of survival.”  
  
He did so. “Is it always this dangerous?”  
  
She sat back down on her rock, putting her at eye level with him. “Sometimes. My family doesn’t know I’m a wizard. That way, they’ll be safe if the king retaliates.” She gestured up at the star-filled sky. “It’s not even like some parts of Midgard. There, they’ll just toss you into an asylum and let you rot. People here know wizardry isn’t nonsense or the ravings of a mad person.” She sighed. “You’ve never conducted wizardry under cover, have you?”  
  
“Only for about three hours in the hold of a slave-trading spaceship.”  
  
“Wow. You’ll have to tell me that story sometime. But it’s not really the same.”  
  
“I-- I’m sorry you have to live this way.”  
  
She lifted one shoulder and dropped it delicately. “I made my choice, the same as you did. I don’t regret it.”  
  
Loki shifted on his feet. “Why did you become interested--?”  
  
She gave him a brilliant smile. “I like lava. The physical processes of how this world was created: some people thought that it was ice solid through, but it isn’t. We only learned that once technology could penetrate beneath the surface. Our volcanoes don’t normally have lava on the surface, see. They just melt what’s around them, and as that’s ice that’s miles thick in places, people just… didn’t see the molten rock.”  
  
“But you did.”  
  
“It was happenstance, a lucky event when I was about five. Dad heard about a volcano close enough to the sea that we could see lava flowing into the water and he brought us. I’ve never forgotten it.”  
  
“That’s really special,” another woman said.  
  
Loki turned to her and lifted his eyebrows at her thin skirt and shirt. But the Alf didn’t seem to be the least bit cold, so he assumed an environmental spell and said nothing. She also gave him a once-over, seemingly just as unimpressed with his sartorial choice.  
  
“So how many of us are there?” Loki said.  
  
“We’re waiting on one more. I don’t anticipate this entire process to be more than six local hours. We should be home by sundown.”  
  
Loki nodded. Sunset here would put him home after midday on Asgard. Loki knew that he’d have to report to Odin upon his return and that there was very little Odin would be furious at Loki for interrupting. Too much rode on Loki not being discovered; the truce was already fragile. And Loki had no intention of restarting the war.  
  
When the fourth person-- a Vanir-- showed up, Aerndís spoke a few words in the Speech, an imaging spell spreading out on the snow in front of them. “This is the problem. We need to slow down the melting for about a week. I can handle talking to volcano into behaving, though it will make the eruption that much worse when the wizardry ends. I need you three for both power feeding and to handle the glacier. There will be residual heat that someone needs to bleed off.”  
  
“I’ll handle the glacier,” the Alf said.  
  
That left power feeding for the Vanir and Loki. He took a deep breath and nodded. Power he had enough of. “My paramagic talents will be of little use; I can’t maintain both a magical illusion to hide us and fuel the wizardry at the same time. I’m sorry.”  
  
Aerndís scuffed her feet on the snow, breaking the wizard’s knot holding the imaging spell together. The spell collapsed, leaving no trace. “I thought you wouldn’t. Even a mastery in illusions doesn’t mean you can do everything.”  
  
That mastery was as far as he would go in cultivating his birth magic. If he hadn’t been a wizard, he could have seen himself devoting as much time as possible to magic. But he had decided early on, with Mother’s approval, that a mastery in only one thing was the only way he could balance magic and wizardry. And he loved illusions, though he’d had less fun with them than he would have had he not been a wizard. It wasn’t too terrible a downside.  
  
“Right. What do we do now?”  
  
Aerndís gestured at the mountain above them. “We go up there.”  
  
Loki looked at the unstable ice above them and swallowed.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
They spent the next several hours designing and writing the spell. Every calculation was checked and then double-checked: they could not risk setting the volcano off early nor could they risk the flood that would result if they didn’t bleed off enough heat. He’d been to the edge of the cliff sheltering one arm of the glacier twice, the first time out of stubborn bravery, the second to admire the view during a quick break in the work for people to hydrate and to find a sheltered spot to relieve themselves.  
  
The town was nestled in between two giant stone arms of the mountain, which would drive the meltwater down toward them with no escape. If the lava managed to break through, the lava would likewise follow the path. Loki shuddered and went back to the staging area. “How much is left?”  
  
Aerndís shook her head. “Our names.” She glanced up at the slowly darkening sky. “We have maybe an hour of daylight left. We’ll be done before then.” She smiled. “And then we’ll be able to go home and sleep.”  
  
If he was home, he’d be in training ring right now. But there was still the spell itself to power. He looked over his shoulder at the view of the mountain range. It was a starkly beautiful landscape and without the numerous nebulae in the sky, the galaxy arched overhead. Neither of the other wizards had returned yet. “Why don’t more people speak against Laufey’s killing wizards?”  
  
She gave him a cock-eyed stare. “Why would they? He’s not a horrible leader, despite that. And, I think, many of them agree with it: they believe that if wizards had opened the worldgates to Midgard, then we would have won the war against Asgard. Since wizards were traitors who refused to do the king’s bidding, then they always will be traitors and, at best, people who cannot be relied upon to put the good of Jotunheim first.” She turned her head to more fully meet Loki’s eyes. “I think that’s not terribly different from how Asgard sees wizards.”  
  
“It isn’t. Even my being one is more a source of shame for some people.” He looked up at the sky. “Sometimes including my father. I ruined plans by becoming one.”  
  
She snorted. “I think it’s the job of all children to ruin their parents’ plans for them.”  
  
“Do you truly think so?”  
  
She nodded. “We’re our own people, no matter what they thought and wished and hoped for us.”  
  
Loki stared at her. Few people had ever told him such things so bluntly. “I think Odin… I don’t think he’s ever truly understood that. I  _know_  he doesn’t understand me. I’ve taken to using the Speech if I need to talk to him about something important simply so I can make sure he’s not misunderstanding me.”  
  
“Maybe you should trust him a little more?”  
  
Loki shook his head, noting the Vanir coming toward them. “The times I don’t use the Speech, we normally end up in an argument.”  
  
“Ah.” She scuffed the snow at her feet. “I wish I was able to tell my parents. It would make explanations about why I’m coming home late easier.” She stood up. “But I think the Powers don’t expect things to be easy; if They were, They wouldn’t need wizards.”  
  
Loki sighed. “Would Laufey execute a member of his own family for being a wizard?”  
  
“The first one he killed was his own cousin.”  
  
“Oh.” One more reason to be glad he was raised on Asgard.  
  
When the Alf arrived not half a minute after the Vanir, they moved into position on the glacier. Aerndís said, “Ready, cousins?”  
  
Loki gave her a small smile. “Ready.”  
  
Once everyone was in place, they began reading the spell, the usual silence of the universe falling around them, the blue fire of the words a match for the deep blue ice beneath them. And then the spell executed--  
  
Loki could feel the pressure building inside the volcano, something that could only be calmed momentarily, not stopped. The glacier melting could likewise only be slowed; the water  _wanted_  to give way, to flow as it was so rarely given an opportunity here to do on Jotunheim. He fed a stream of energy to the spell, focusing on Aerndís and supporting her.  
  
The volcano did not want to calm, did not want to release energy through a mostly blocked vent on the opposite side of the volcano. It wanted to release it here and shortly.  
  
But shortly was too soon and slowly, slowly, the volcano acquiesced, releasing a plume of smoke and ash up through the nearby vent: a warning to the town below that would also ensure they would be able to escape. They ended the spell and Loki wavered on his feet. He saw out of the corner of his eye Aerndís collapse with a soft “oof” and he turned to her. He froze momentarily when he saw the spear of ice sticking out of her back and then shouted, “Go!”  
  
He heard more than saw the Vanir and the Alf teleport away, neither one of them being careful about air displacement. He didn’t dare use the teleportation spell, not when there was a Jotunn holding a knife of ice to his throat. “You do not want to kill me.”  
  
“Hmm, little prince, you may be right about that.” The Jotun soldier grinned. “We’ll let King Laufey deal with you.”  
  
He lowered the knife and while Loki was tempted to teleport to the worldgate, following the other two, he knew it would be an incredibly stupid thing to do. Laufey would ensure that he had his answers one way or another and would not let Odin rest until he had them. Better to travel unresisting in the interest of inter-Realm peace.  
  
He watched as another soldier picked up Aerndís’ body and threw it over his shoulder. The guard poked at him, a touch Loki hardly felt through his thick coat. He shivered and moved forward, stumbling down the mountain at times. But he never let a Jotun help him. Now more than ever, he could not risk revealing his heritage.  
  
When they reached the bottom of the volcano-- well after night had fallen; Loki had to use a wizard light to see to follow the Jotun in front of him-- they bundled him onto a small sled piled with furs, ensuring that he would neither get hypothermia nor fall off, lashing Aerndís’ corpse to the outside. Loki thankfully could not see the fatal wound and, making sure his environmental protections were set to last while he was sleeping (somewhat dangerous in this climate, but necessary), he took the opportunity to rest.  
  
He never managed to truly sleep, though. The way was rocky and he had the feeling the soldiers didn’t care if the sled bounced. The stench from the four-legged creature pulling the sled was largely blown away by the wind from behind them. When the sled stopped after the sun rose, Loki stiffly climbed out of his encumbering furs and looked around. There was nothing but rocks and wilderness. He turned to one of the soldiers, the teleport spell in the back of his head, wondering if they’d decided to kill him and if so, if Heimdall or teleporting would be faster. ‘’Where are we?”  
  
The soldier shrugged. “We have another day’s journey ahead of us, your royal highness. Stretch yourself now; we’re leaving after the sun’s another finger above the horizon.”  
  
Loki walked around as much as he could, taking the opportunity to relieve himself behind a rock. And then he got back on the sled and managed to sleep for a few hours. The path was smoother.  
  
But the Jotuns made sure he was awake when they reached the outskirts of the capital city. Loki could feel the blood drain from his face as they slowly went by. The buildings were small and cramped and the taller ones had their tops ruined. He’d known they hadn’t rebuilt it: leaving the destruction as a reminder of what Asgard had done, what war could do, and simply because there was no easy way of repairing the damage. The people on the streets stared as the sled drove by, more than a few people turning hostile when they saw him bundled up as luggage. He didn’t look down when they started shouting at him, a few even tossing chunks of ice, but they bounced off his shield.  _That_  caused a few more murmurs, but the ice stopped being thrown when they reached Laufey’s palace.  
  
Guards met them in the courtyard, taking away Aerndís’ body and escorting the two soldier and him to Laufey’s throne room. Loki looked around: still dark, somewhat open to the elements (just as Asgard’s was), and cold. But Laufey’s throne was set only a couple of low steps above the floor and he looked both amused and tired. “What brings the second prince of Asgard here?”  
  
Loki said, “Errantry, your majesty.”  
  
The crowd around them murmured. Laufey looked over Loki’s shoulder at the soldiers. “What happened?”  
  
One of the soldiers came forward and briefly knelt one knee on the stone floor. “During our patrol to check on the melt rate of the glacier, we came upon a group of four wizards performing a spell. Knowing how deadly it might to interrupt them, we waited until they finished. We killed the Jotun wizard, but the Vanir and Alfen ones escaped. This one we dared not kill.”  
  
Laufey studied Loki with sardonic eyes. “No, best not to have. You will be commended for your actions.”  
  
“Thank you, your majesty.” Loki heard the two soldiers leave the room. A gesture from Laufey made Loki’s escort step several feet back. Loki tried not to show how relieved he was, but it was more difficult than normal to do. He’d had only a little bit of water and no food in the past day and his energy was running rather low.  
  
Laufey stood up and walked over to Loki. Loki held his ground and looked up at the king’s face. “May I leave after I give you an explanation?”  
  
“That remains to be seen.” Laufey stared down at him. “Why are you here?”  
  
Loki held back a sigh. “The Jotun wizard asked for non-Jotuns to help her, in hopes they would be safer here. We performed a spell to ensure that the volcano would not erupt nor the glacier melt. You have, at this point, another six days to complete the evacuation.”  
  
Laufey gestured and two more people left the room. Loki hoped they had something to do with the evacuation. “What else?”  
  
“There is nothing else. We were minutes from leaving Jotunheim.”  
  
“Where is the worldgate? We know you did not use the Bifrost.”  
  
Ah. “Hidden.”  
  
“Who runs it?”  
  
“Wizards.”  
  
Laufey stared down at him, crowding even closer. “You will not tell me.”  
  
“I would not even if I knew their names.”  
  
It was a gamble that Laufey would not have him tortured for more information. Loki knew the worldgate’s location well enough that he could pinpoint it, even if he didn’t give them the exact coordinates. The key question was how badly Laufey hated him as an Odinson, a wizard, and an Asgardian versus Laufey’s desire to keep the truce.  
  
“Tell me, Odinson, how did you come to betray your father so badly as to become a wizard?”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows and shifted his stance slightly. “I didn’t betray him. I still serve Asgard.”  
  
“But you will never be king.” Laufey turned around and went to his throne, waving a hand, and all but two Jotuns left the room. Those two went to stand by the entrance leading outside.  
  
“It is unlikely,” Loki said. “But I do not desire the throne.” Once he had. He still wouldn’t refuse the responsibility if it came to him, but he did not want to rule Asgard.  
  
“Every child in the royal line does.”  
  
Loki shrugged one shoulder. “I have other responsibilities that supersede envy of something Asgard believes I have little right to. I am not Thor. Nor do I desire to be him.”  
  
“You would have us keep the peace, then, and return you unharmed.”  
  
“For both political and personal reasons, yes.”  
  
Laufey let out a bark of laughter. “Yet you came to Jotunheim knowing the punishment for wizardry is death.”  
  
“I did.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
Loki looked steadily at him. He knew Laufey knew what wizards did and the Oath they had sworn. “I’d hoped to prevent the deaths of any wizards. I failed.”  
  
“And?”  
  
Loki sighed. “I told you why we were there. If that is not enough--”  
  
“You are impertinent.”  
  
Laufey had no idea of the magnitude of Loki’s impertinence and he was rather glad of it. He wasn’t sure he’d escape with his life if Laufey knew the truth. “My father often tells me that.”  
  
“As well he should. If you were my son, it would have been trained out of you long ago.”  
  
“I’d expect so. Your methods of discipline are known to be harsh.”  
  
“And you have no desire to experience them firsthand.”  
  
“None,” Loki said with a sharp smile. He was testing Laufey, wondering just how far he would go, how far Odin would let him (there was no possible explanation for Odin  _not_  knowing, even in the unlikely event he was in the Odinsleep), and how much before he decided that he needed to protect himself.  
  
Laufey studied him and stood up from the throne. “Come with me, Odinson.”  
  
_Now_  Loki was curious. He fell into step behind Laufey, a guard trailing him a few feet behind. Laufey led him deeper into the palace complex, through several ruined courtyards and into back into an area of the palace that had seen several repairs. When the door closed behind them, Laufey stopped. Only then Loki realized that the guard had remained outside. A chill went down his spine and he lifted his head, a spell ready for defense at the forefront of his mind.  
  
Laufey pointed to a stairwell. “We will be traveling upward. These steps were made for Jotuns, not Asgardians.”  
  
Or for people who happened to be both, Loki thought humorlessly, looking at the steep treads. He would do Laufey the kindness of not using the skywalking spell in front of him. “I’ll manage.”  
  
Laufey led him to the top of the palace, though not as high as the spires had once stood. He rubbed his aching calves and walked over to Laufey. The king gestured at the vista before them. “You claim to be a wizard. You should know this is the legacy Asgard has left us with.”  
  
Desolation. From up here, the destruction of the city was plain. There were so many buildings that were still rubble, entire sections where no one had bothered to rebuild. The area Loki had been driven through earlier was one of the poorer sections, but even the largest buildings weren’t much bigger. “Did--” Loki licked his lips, chapped from the cold and the wind. “How many people left and never returned?”  
  
“Not including the dead? Thousands. I promised them that I would not rebuild the palace until the Casket of Ancient Winters was returned to us.” Laufey looked down at him. “You have seen it, have you not?” Loki nodded, his gaze never leaving the streets. “What is Odin’s current excuse for keeping it locked up in his vault of treasures?”  
  
Loki sighed. “That you would once more use it to attempt to conquer other worlds.”  
  
“Do you believe that?”  
  
“I don’t know what to believe. I have been told one thing all of my life. You now imply that you would use it to help restore your people to glory. Whether that means invasion or not, I cannot say.” Loki looked up at Laufey. “The manual remains quiet on that point. I  _did_  look.”  
  
“That is more than I expected of an Asgardian.”  
  
“I had my reasons to learn more about this Realm.”  
  
Laufey turned to face him, studying him far more intently than Loki felt comfortable with. But Loki didn’t look away and raised an eyebrow. Laufey snorted. “Does Odin still believe you can become the diplomat who turns this truce into a true treaty?”  
  
“I don’t know. Everyone knows wizards don’t lie, so why would anyone bother to make me a diplomat or ambassador between our Realms? Yet that same aspect is why some push for it.” Loki let out a deep breath. “I think it rather depends on what  _you_  want-- and why. I can guarantee nothing, your majesty. I can promise nothing.”  
  
“Yet we have heard tales about your brother, who seems to believe that we are all monsters. You willingly stand here and converse with me. Yet I see the same hatred and disgust in your eyes, well-hidden though it may be. I do not believe that any true peace can come when both sides hate each other.” He gestured at the city. “I see the cost of war every day, Prince Loki. You see only the victories. Maybe when Asgard has lost a war we will come to terms. But before then, we will not beg and we will not entreat.”  
  
Laufey turned away and took several strides toward the steps. Loki bit his lip and said, “Maybe there is a personal reason for my hatred and disgust.” Laufey stopped. “You kill wizards. You abandoned a child when he no longer suited you.”  
  
“I had my reasons for both of those things. You are entitled to answers for neither.”  
  
When Laufey reached the steps, Loki whispered, “What if I am?”  
  
Laufey finally turned to look at him. “I know you have the answer to the former. The answer to the latter… I believe it is in our mutual best interests if you do not push for it.” He went down the first step. “Leave, Odinson, before the winds attempt to kill you a second time.”  
  
Loki’s guts turned to ice, but he said nothing. He had a feeling Laufey would attempt to murder him if he did push. He waited until he was sure that Laufey was well inside the structure before skywalking down to the ground and calling for Heimdall. He was in no frame of mind to chance teleporting to or using the worldgate.  
  
He staggered when the Bifrost brought him home. Heimdall helped him sit down on the steps while the Bifrost cycled to a halt. “I have called for a skiff to bring you to the healing rooms.”  
  
Loki nodded. Exhaustion, mild hypothermia, and dehydration: he would not argue against Eir treating him. “What did you hear?”  
  
“All of it.”  
  
Loki looked up at him. “Do you think Laufey knows?”  
  
“I believe he has suspected for many years. Your conversation today, I think, confirmed it for him.”  
  
Loki snorted, tempted to bury his head in his hands. “I can’t keep my mouth shut.”  
  
Heimdall smiled and sat down beside him. “That has ever been a problem of yours. Wizardry has only honed the skill.”  
  
Loki shot him a look. “I would get in less trouble if I spoke less.”  
  
“Kings and courts need to hear things they oftentimes do not wish to.”  
  
“I’d be less hated if I didn’t say them.”  
  
“That is true. But are the benefits worth the pain?”  
  
Heimdall stood up and helped Loki to his feet. “I don’t know, Heimdall.”  
  
He smiled sadly. “I have no advice for you, my prince. I merely hope that you continue being the best of yourself.”  
  
Loki snorted a laugh. “I’m a wizard. If I want to be an effective one, I have to be.”  
  
“You could always give up your wizardry.”  
  
Loki stopped walking in horror. “ _Never_.”  
  
Heimdall smiled. “Then I need not worry. You are a good person, Loki, and turning into a fine gentleman. Tell Odin the details of your conversation, but I do not believe he will be able to assuage your concerns. Talk over your worries with your mother and your friends instead. They understand you far better.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow. He had never once heard the gatekeeper say anything slightly negative about Odin before. Heimdall merely smiled. “You are not the only one who tells your father things he does not wish to hear. Be well, Prince Loki.”  
  
Heimdall turned and walked back into the observatory. Loki stared at him for another moment before turning and accepting the Einherjar’s helping hand into the skiff.


	10. If, Only If

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other fairly short chapter. _So You Want To Be A Wizard_ , IDiD-style.

Úlfrun spun around, laughing. Loki looked at her, mouth twitching in badly hidden amusement.  
  
Ben shook his head. “I suddenly begin to suspect that we should not have included you in this ritual.”  
  
Úlfrun stopped spinning and put her hands on her hips. “You have no right to say that.” She grinned. “Half of the time, this ritual ends in a giant orgy.”  
  
Loki made a disgusted noise. “Did you  _have_  to remind me of that?”  
  
Ben looked between the two of them. “Do I want to know?”  
  
Loki looked at him. “Did you not read the history of this?”  
  
Ben shrugged. “A little. I mostly read the overview, though, not all of the details.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “It was in the trivia section.” He paused, then said, “I wonder if anyone’s looked into why it sometimes happens and sometimes doesn’t.”  
  
Úlfrun said, “I checked into the research on that, actually. From what people have collated, it seems largely to be about the individual make-up of the wizards involved.”  
  
Loki nodded. “That makes sense. This did originally start as a fertility ritual.”  
  
Ben blinked. “How did they go from a fertility ritual to a giant dance?”  
  
Úlfrun shrugged. “It’s a dance around a pole in a meadow strewn with wild flowers. As more people got involved, it changed meanings a bit.”  
  
“What better way to prove that you’re looking for a mate than to dance with everyone on the field,” Loki asked. “And then the dance leads all of you  _off_  the field in pairs. What part of that screams, ‘Not a fertility rite?’”  
  
Ben stared at him. “…Right.”  
  
Úlfrun collapsed giggling into the grass. Loki sighed and sat down next to her, ignoring the stares Ben gave them. “Are you enjoying yourself?”  
  
She looked up at him. “Are you?”  
  
“I’m mostly tired.” He looked up at the pale purple sky. “Somehow, I think I’m one of the reasons it  _didn’t_  turn into an orgy.”  
  
Úlfrun reached over and patted his arm. “It’s not your fault. There are other people here who wouldn’t enjoy one, obviously.”  
  
“Obviously or not, the fact remains that you are worryingly giddy; Ben is confused; and I am merely tired.”  
  
Ben sighed and sat down in the grass. “I’m  _not_  confused. Much.”  
  
Loki snorted. “Say it in the Speech.” Ben conspicuously said nothing. “Thought so.”  
  
“So says the dour one. What is eating at you?”  
  
Loki buried his head in his hands. “My brother, what else? Ever since his coronation was announced, he’s been insufferable.”  
  
“Isn’t he always?” Úlfrun said.  
  
Ben said. “No. When I first met him, he wasn’t nearly as arrogant.”  
  
“It was Mjolnir that made him worse: a weapon only those Odin considers worthy can use.”  
  
“But there’s no spell on it to prove otherwise. You could pick it up and hide it somewhere.”  
  
Loki blew a loose strand of grass off his face. “I’ve done that. The last time, I had to hide in my room for several days while he calmed down.”  
  
Úlfrun sat up. “Really?”  
  
Loki sighed. “No. Mjolnir comes to his hand if he calls, so it was more of an inconvenience than anything. But he was furious in a way I’d never seen before. It worries me.”  
  
Ben nodded. “How far do think he’ll go as king?”  
  
“It depends on how willing he is to listen to counsel. Or if he’ll decide he doesn’t need any.” Loki sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if he’ll imprison everyone for disagreeing with him.”  
  
“At least the Realms are at peace.”  
  
Úlfrun said, “Ben…”  
  
Loki sighed. “That may not last with Thor as sensitive to insults, perceived or actual, as he is. If one dignitary says something wrong, I can’t help but think Asgard will be embroiled in a war that we won’t be prepared for.”  
  
Ben frowned. “Do you really think it will come to that?”  
  
“I don’t know. I hope not.”  
  
Úlfrun sighed. “So much for merriment.”  
  
Ben and Úlfrun glanced at each other, and Loki said, “If the two of you wish to go home…”  
  
Ben reached over and pushed Loki over into the grass. “Stop it.”  
  
“Never.”  
  
Loki laughed. “I would like to return to Asgard, though.”  
  
“Sure,” Úlfrun said with a shrug. “There’s plenty of parks there. And more food,” she added when her stomach growled.  
  
Ben laughed. “Food, then park.”  
  
Loki shrugged. He had nowhere else to be for the rest of the day. And better with friends than trying to soothe over the temper of whomever Thor had offended today.  
  
He was becoming rather tired of cleaning up after his brother. Wizard or not, Thor would have to stop relying on him. And he would tell Thor that: Thor needed to learn diplomacy and tact for himself. Loki could not and would not always be there to help. A wizard was not a cleaning maid.  
  
“Heimdall!” Loki said, standing up.  
  
The Bifrost’s clouds immediately began building around them and moments later, they were in Asgard. Rather than greeting them as he normally did, Heimdall looked seriously at them. “Midgard’s sun has just been snuffed.”  
  
The three of them looked at each other and raced for the observatory’s entrance. Ben gasped out, “The Knotwork Cafe?”  
  
Loki nodded and flung the teleportation spell circle onto the Bifrost. They added their names and spoke the spell, landing in the cafe’s dedicated spot without a breath of displaced air.  
  
The cafe was already teeming with wizards, Helga holding court near the door. She glanced up at them and they made their way to a clear spot near the display counter.  
  
“Two Midgardian minutes ago, their star was extinguished by a very aggressive version of the Lone Power who followed two wizards on Ordeal back from the phulakic volume He was imprisoned in.”  
  
“Why?” Loki said.  
  
Helga looked at him. “They retrieved  _The Book of Night With Moon_  from Him.”  
  
Oh. Loki hadn’t been aware it had gone missing. From the look on Helga’s face, she hadn’t known either. And that sent chills down Loki’s spine.  
  
A woman sitting at one of the tables near the window said, “What are we doing?”  
  
“We’ll be using the Rafting project to rescue as many lives as possible. We have days before the Realm freezes over.”  
  
One of the wizards seated near Loki said, “Maybe we could let the Jotuns have it, then.”  
  
He received several aghast looks, not the least from Loki and his friends. But Loki knew that he was right: if Midgard did freeze, then it would only be fit for those adapted to life on an ice world-- if they could survive without a sun, which even the Jotuns needed.  
  
Helga continued, ignoring the interjection, “We will not be able to save as many as we would wish. The worldgates will be working at full capacity, but we also face the danger that the Lone One will discover our help and derange the worldgates. The ones in New York City are inoperable at this moment and one of them is being used to by the Lone Power to make the city more like the one in His universe.”  
  
“Well, fuck,” someone standing in the crowd said. “Best get started, then.”  
  
Helga nodded. “Those with worldgate experience please go to my office. Everyone else, please check your manuals for assignments.”  
  
The crowd split to allow access to her office. Loki clasped hands with his friends and walked down the hall, followed by a handful of other people. Helga bustled by and opened the door. The six of them settled in. Loki sat down in the only chair and the others stood on either side of him. Helga sat down in her seat and opened her manual to the relevant pages.  
  
“Loki, you know other ways off Asgard. Are there any routes on Midgard?”  
  
“A few. But most of them are in inaccessible locations and all of them need precise knowledge of where to find them and how to use them.” He swallowed. “There are a handful that can handle more than small groups of people. But they will need transportation to be reached. I’m not sure of how much use they would actually be.”  
  
Helga sighed. “I was afraid of that.” She paused to lean over her manual to study something that had begun flashing. She placed her hands on her desk and burst into a brilliant smile. “Midgard’s sun is relit. As far as I can tell, the novices read  _The Book_. Everything was repaired and the Lone One returned to his prison.”  
  
Loki slumped in his seat. Thank the Powers. “Now what?”  
  
“We let the Midgardian authorities handle the aftermath.” She leaned back in her chair with a sigh of relief and then stood up. “You are free to leave. Please pass the message on to those wizards you know, if they haven’t already checked their manuals for updates on the situation.”  
  
Loki trailed the others out of Helga’s office and sank into a chair next to the table his friends had claimed as the cafe emptied. His stomach growled and he glared down at the wood, too tired to even think about standing up for the few minutes it would take to order food.  
  
“We’ve ordered a picnic lunch,” Úlfrun said quietly. “You’re welcome to join us.”  
  
“I will.” He still didn’t want to return to the palace.  
  
They ended up in one of the parks overlooking the edge of the world. Loki sank down into the grass and tiredly ate the sandwich Ben had ordered for him before laying down and looking up at the midday stars shining in the sky. But that reminded him…  
  
He rolled onto his side and opened his manual to the précis of the Snuffing of Midgard’s sun. And everything he read, the little that privacy concerns about Ordeals allowed him to… Two mortals in their joint Ordeal had returned what no one else had even known was missing-- and one of the them had  _rewritten_  the Lone One’s name: to let It change, if It wished.  
  
That was going to have repercussions both minor and major, not the least of which was that the Lone One was now in debt to Nita Cahallan but likely also furious at her for daring to change something so fundamental and personal. But maybe, just maybe the Lone Power would take the chance.


	11. The Pullulus War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Wizards at War_ , IDiD-style.

Loki rubbed his temples and looked at Thor. “You want to do  _what_?”  
  
“Visit Jotunheim.”  
  
Loki didn’t bother to hold back his sigh. “You are a  _month_  away from your coronation and you just now want to do this. Why?”  
  
“You did.”  
  
“That was well over a century ago and for errantry. Do you not remember exactly how much trouble I was in when I returned?”  
  
Thor waved a hand. “It is of no matter now. The Jotuns will listen to me--”  
  
“They will do no such thing. They have no respect for Asgardians and Laufey has no desire to treat with Asgard unless it involves the return of the Casket.”  
  
“That will never happen.”  
  
Loki tried and succeeded in not rolling his eyes at Thor’s assurance. “You can’t predict the future.”  
  
“Neither can you.”  
  
Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I’m done. You’ll never convince Heimdall or Father.”  
  
He walked out of the room. It has seemed the coronation was making Thor even worse than usual. A month to go-- and then Asgard would have a new king.  
  
One who simply wasn’t ready, no matter that both Mother and Father thought being on the throne would temper Thor. Loki knew better. But he didn’t know what to do about it. There was no easy way to convince Father to postpone it; he’d tried simply talking with him. Mother was little better.  
  
He dodged around a pair of gossiping servants and left the royal wing, heading to the Knotwork Cafe. Rather than teleport, he slipped a minor wizarding illusion on himself and took public transportation. Listening to the common people talk would either calm him or worry him; he didn’t know which. But it was better information than coming secondhand by people who weren’t always clear about the day-to-day lives of the common Asgardian.  
  
He settled onto a seat and listened to the people around him. Most of it was, as usual, the day-to-day life stuff. But as he overheard various conversations, he noticed a pattern-- more violence, more conflict, more arguments. Maybe it was just one of those weeks. But for everyone?  
  
He got off when he reached his stop and ended the illusion spell when he reached the Cafe. He opened the door and one of the workers behind the counter smiled at him. “What do you want today?”  
  
“What’s the special?”  
  
She gestured at something in the display case. “A chocolate strawberry torte. Or there’s chocolate chip cookies.”  
  
“I’ll have a slice of the torte, please.”  
  
He sat down at a table near the window and slowly ate the torte, not intending to return to the palace before he had to. And that if he didn’t strike up a conversation with other wizards after he finished eating. There was usually someone in the cafe willing to talk. But when he put the fork down on the empty plate and looked up, Helga waved from behind the counter for him to come over. He took the dirty plate and fork with it and handed them to the worker who he’d bought the torte from. Helga opened the door to the business side of the cafe and he followed her to her office.   
  
Once the door shut behind them, he asked, “Am I in trouble?”  
  
She snorted. “Not this time.” She sighed, her gray hair appearing more white than gray. “Not any more so than the rest of the universe.”  
  
He raised an eyebrow. “Sounds dire.”  
  
“It is.” She looked up at him and this time, he could see the fear in her eyes. “Loki, you’re getting an advance warning about this, but over the next few days, the Seniors and Advisories will be briefing everyone else.” She paused. “The universe’s expansion is speeding up and we have no way to stop it.”  
  
Loki stared at her. “By that you mean catastrophically so.”  
  
“Within a few months, if a way is not discovered, the universe will rip itself apart.”  
  
Loki’s gut turned to ice. “If the expansion is happening that fast, wizardry will cease working.”  
  
She nodded. “The younger you are, the longer you will keep it.” She hesitated. “For Asgardians, that means anyone under the age of eight or so centuries. Older wizards will lose their power faster.”  
  
“It’s already begun, hasn’t it?” Loki kept a very firm hold on the stirrings of panic. He did  _not_  need to think about himself right now. He needed information.  
  
“It has. You are somewhat fortunate: your paramagic abilities mean you will likely keep your wizardry slightly longer than other wizards your age. But it will not last.”  
  
“What about non-wizards?”  
  
“We’ll have our hands full. Eventually, only violent emotions will seem real. Everything else…” She shook her head. “This is  _Asgard_. If there’s a planet more likely to turn violent, I don’t know it.”  
  
“We aren’t that bad.” He paused. “But restart the war with Jotunheim? Thor wants to visit.”  
  
“Odin won’t let him.”  
  
“You’ve already talked to my father.”  
  
“I just returned from a meeting with him.”  
  
Loki sank back in his seat, relieved that at least he wouldn’t have to worry about Thor restarting a war nor telling Odin about the literal universe-ending problem. “What is he doing to prepare?”  
  
“I don’t know. He said that he would recall as many Asgardians from off-Realm as possible. I fear the Bifrost will not be able to compensate if the expansion happens too rapidly.”  
  
“Helga, if there will be no adult wizards--”  
  
“The children will be in charge. We rely on them as a norm. Now they have to do our work and theirs.”  
  
“So what’s our plan?”  
  
“We will give the younger wizards a choice on whether to stay here to mitigate the effects as much as possible or to explore the Realms and beyond to see if they can find a solution.” She leaned forward. “Loki, this is serious enough that the Powers aren’t sure we’ll  _survive_. All limits on spells are off. We can’t risk chancing upon the solution and being too cautious with it.”  
  
He nodded. No limits now didn’t help when he was going to lose what he’d changed his life for. “How much time do we-- I-- have?”  
  
“I don’t know, Loki. I’m sorry. Weeks at most.”  
  
He picked at the palm of his left hand. “What do you need me to do?”  
  
“Keep Thor and his friends out of trouble. Brief your father as you can. I will be remaining here, if for no other reason than people will need comfort food in these times.” She looked down at her desk. “I thank the Powers we’re not  _sevarfrith_. At least we won’t believe that wizardry came from our imagination.”  
  
“No, we just have to live with the knowledge that we no longer are wizards. And that can and will go terribly wrong.”  
  
“I know.” She met his eyes, scared but determined. “Ignorance may be occasionally preferable to knowledge.”  
  
A chill went down Loki’s spine. Helga never sounded like that. She was always a great believer that the more knowledge people had, the better prepared they would be. He made his excuses and teleported home. He needed to read the précis in the manual to have a better understanding-- and then he’d see if Ben and his other friends wanted to meet somewhere.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Ben lay back on the grass, a blade stuff between his lips. Úlfrun looked at him and plucked it out, dropping it onto the grass next to her. Ben said, “So what do we do now?”  
  
Loki wrapped his arms around his knees, looking past the garden’s cliff’s edge to the golden buildings on the other side of the fjord. “We stay here. We keep an eye on our tempers-- and we call each other for support when we need it. None of us will be able to do this alone.” Ben poked his side and Loki slapped his hand gently. “Quit that. I know; I’m talking about myself just the same as the rest of us.”  
  
Ragna sighed. “Will people even listen to us once we lose our power?”  
  
Her twin Ragnvé said, “They’d better. We don’t stop being wizards just because we lose our power. We still abide by the Oath as well as we can.”  
  
Úlfrun shrugged. “Still won’t keep people from ignoring us. I can easily see violence beginning when a wizard tries to stop a group of people from doing something. Asgard’s a badly sealed plasma coil on the best of days.”  
  
Loki studied her, almost nervous to ask why. It was times like these that made him feel like an outsider. He knew about the nobles, but the commoners in detail? “Why?”  
  
She said, “Mainly, people trust and respect Odin. They like Thor-- and they know that Thor is… hmm… battle-ready. Odin is already recalling trading parties and diplomats. He looks as if he will sit this out. And if the other Realms erupt into war, then our warriors will want to join in.”  
  
“And when he doesn’t, people will riot and push for Thor to ascend to the throne, even if it’s days or weeks before the coronation’s scheduling.” Loki buried his face in his hand and then removed them. “It seems that it truly is my duty now to keep Thor contained, no matter what happens.”  
  
He  _might_  be able to enlist Sif-- but she was, as always, thirsting to prove herself. It would not take much for her to lose her place as a warrior at Thor’s side, and she was constantly aware of it. If this threatened that-- and Loki had a feeling tensions among the court would be worse than ever-- then she was also no longer reliable.  
  
Ben reached over and squeezed Loki’s ankle. “You do your part; we’ll do ours.”  
  
Loki stood up, no longer wanting to be around people. He needed some time to himself before everything fell apart. “Go well, cousins.”  
  
“You, too,” Úlfrun said.  
  
Loki teleported himself away. He wandered into the library and ended up standing next to the empty alcove where he normally spent his library time. But there was nothing comforting about it today. He turned around and looked at the stacks of books. If all this was coming to an end in another few months, what was the use in spending time here? None of it mattered.  
  
Loki shook himself. That was the kind of thinking he needed to watch out for: that nothing mattered. The books here  _did_  matter, because someone somewhere was going to find the solution to the Pullulus. They would be here for him to read and research.  
  
But he did not have time for them right now.  
  
He marched out of the library and let Thor drag him onto the training field for the rest of the afternoon.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Three days later, Odin closed the Bifrost.  _That_  nearly caused a riot and did cause a horde of traders and other people whose livelihoods depended on the travel to descend on the palace. Loki stood in his customary place in the throne room, on the steps to one side, and looked over the crowd. There were some violently angry faces in the crowd; most were angry but less lost to it.  
  
After Odin explained-- to them and to the gathered court-- exactly why he’d closed the Bifrost, more than a few people kept glancing at Loki. He kept his face serious, but couldn’t help but think that of course  _now_  was the time people would either rely on or turn to him for answers. Answers he didn’t have, of course; he’d told Odin everything, who had passed on most it.  
  
What he hadn’t passed on-- yet-- was that wizards would lose their power. Odin had agreed that not telling the populace before it was necessary would cause problems. At least this way, people would be vaguely more inclined to listen to wizards.  
  
After that particular audience was over, Loki slipped from the throne room. When he reached the private hallway, he pulled off his helmet and ran his free hand over his hair, smoothing it back down.  
  
“Loki?”  
  
He turned when Sif called his name. He smiled. “What is it?”  
  
She frowned. “How long have you known?”  
  
“Three days.”  
  
“And you aren’t  _doing_  anything?”  
  
He glanced down at her hand on the knife on her belt. “Sif, my main task right now is to keep Thor under control. We already know there will problems here at home, and that’s what my friends and I are concentrating on. We’re letting the younger wizards leave Asgard in search of a solution.”  
  
She glanced around them. “What didn’t Odin tell us?”  
  
He smiled humorlessly. “Wizardry will cease working within the next few weeks. We might live to see Thor’s coronation; we might not.”  
  
She stared at him, jaw set. “You mean you don’t  _have_  an answer to this.”  
  
“We’re wizards, Sif, not miracle-workers. At least not that sort of miracle.” Loki waved a hand. “My one goal for this, assuming we survive, is to keep Thor from either pulling us into a war with Jotunheim or letting Asgard use him as an excuse for a civil war or a coup. That means I am unlikely to be leaving the palace save for short visits with my friends. And it means I need your help.”  
  
Her eyes widened. “You need me to keep an eye on him when you can’t.”  
  
“Precisely. It would be exceedingly odd if I suddenly joined all of you in the training ring for hours on end every day.” He thinned his lips. “You will also be affected by the Pullulus, Sif. It’s not just wizards.”  
  
“I heard.” She removed her hand from her knife, looking a little confused. “If we watch ourselves, we may be able to stop the worst of it.”  
  
Loki barked out a laugh. “We may be able to stop it for a few weeks, Sif. But if the Pullulus isn’t solved, there  _will_  be bloodshed in the streets. Asgard will tear itself apart and the victors will be left with a pile of bone and ash for however long the universe remains.”  
  
“It sounds hopeless.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “When do Asgardians give up when the fight’s just begun?”  
  
Sif gave him a fierce grin. “We don’t.”  
  
“Then remember this is our fight: for calm, for peace, for keeping our tempers when the universe itself will make us think that violence is the only answer. Anything we can do to keep the violence at a simmer rather than a full boil will be a good thing.” He paused. “Even if it means knocking Thor unconscious when he becomes insufferable.”  
  
Sif laughed and reached out to squeeze his arm. “I’ll leave that to you, Loki.”  
  
Sif left him and Loki let the smile slip off his face. He hadn’t entirely been jesting.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Two days later, he teleported to the Knotwork Cafe and noticed that the majority of the wizards there were younger than he was: almost all of them of the age that they should have been in lessons or apprenticeships. Every single one of them looked up when he walked in.  
  
He glanced at the counter, where Helga was nowhere to be seen. Softly, he asked, “She’s lost her power, hasn’t she?”  
  
One of the young girls seated by the window stood up. “She has. We’ve decided that, because the adults will lose their power, that we need to be in charge from now until the end of the conflict.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “I see no problem with that.” It meant he didn’t have to worry about shepherding other wizards while trying to deal with Thor.  
  
“Good. So what have you to report?”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow. Wizard he may be, but he was still the second prince of Asgard. “Nothing. I’m either trying to keep an eye on Thor or reading the manual to see if there’s something I can learn that will stop the Pullulus.”  
  
Or stuck in meetings with his father, trying to plan for the worst case scenarios. Thor had attended two of them and then announced that he would not be attending further. Odin had looked ready to lose his temper but waved Thor out of the room instead. He’d explained himself by saying that there was no point in arguing; Thor would not listen. Loki had not taken the opportunity to suggest postponing the coronation; it was a long-standing conflict they didn’t need to revisit. Odin would either see the wisdom in delaying until the crisis was over or he wouldn’t.  
  
And Loki had the suspicion that Odin wanted to spend what few weeks remained with Frigga rather than ruling Asgard.  
  
The girl did not look impressed with his brief summary, but Loki raised his other eyebrow and went to the counter to order something. Ben would meet him here shortly and he needed something sweet. But it tasted just slightly off and Loki couldn’t help but wonder if it was because Helga could no longer use wizardry in her kitchen.  
  
One of the kids came over to his table and sat down. She pulled out her manual and turned on the tablet to a map. “These are all the trouble spots we’re keeping an eye on.”  
  
Loki leaned over the map of Asgard scattered with red dots. “Aren’t you supposed to be in lessons?”  
  
She gave him a disgusted look. “My teacher let me out for the duration of the crisis on the grounds I’d be too distracted to learn and that I was needed elsewhere. Did you think we were deserting?”  
  
Loki felt a little flush rise and nodded. “My tutors would not have let me. Nor, I think, would have my parents.”  
  
“Well, we’re not royalty. Anyway--,” she waved a hand and three of the dots turned orange “--these are the one we’ll need adults watching. We’re too young to go in them.”  
  
Loki pulled out his own manual and made sure he had the same information. “We’ll handle it.”  
  
“Let us know when you lose your power, if we haven’t noticed you’re not in the manual anymore.”  
  
Loki glanced down at his manual. He hadn’t checked the directory and suddenly didn’t want to. How many names were already missing? “Right.”  
  
When Ben arrived, his news wasn’t any more reassuring. “Mother’s starting to lose it.”  
  
Loki let out a shaky breath. “We do what we can.”  
  
Ben nodded. “How is Thor reacting to all of this?”  
  
Loki let out a laugh. “He’s thriving. So many people in the training areas want to take out their aggression. He knows it’s not a good thing it’s happening, but he can’t bring himself to care overly much. Not when his brother is doing enough ‘fretting for the both of us.’”  
  
Ben gave Loki a wry look. “Why does that sound like a direct quote?”  
  
“It is.” Loki momentarily buried his face in his hands. “He cares; I know he does. But I don’t think he’s realized that we may not be able to solve it.”  
  
“Not everyone wants to comprehend the knowledge that the universe may end. And your brother has always been a rather cheerful optimist.”  
  
“I know. I just wish he--”  
  
“He what?”  
  
“Had a little less faith that we’ll fix this.” Loki gestured at the cafe. “When the people in charge are children… I don’t know what to do, Ben. Thor’s barely listening to me; Sif’s trying her best and facing her own problems; Mother is doing her best to keep the peace in our family; and Odin is relying on me despite knowing that I will be of little use--”  
  
“He’s still relying on you, though,” Ben said softly.  
  
Loki stilled. He was-- and not as his second choice. “Thank you. I hadn’t realized--”  
  
Ben smiled. “Different perspectives. It’s about the only thing that’ll help us through this. Because even if we do win, things will have changed.”  
  
Loki looked down and then met his friend’s eyes. “I know. Dealing with that? We’ll have to find new ways forward.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki got into the habit of checking first thing when he woke up the directory of wizards in Asgard (swiftly and steadily decreasing; everyone older than two thousand had lost their power by the end of the first week) and then the summary of what the off-Realms wizards were doing to combat it. None of it seemed to make any sort of difference.  
  
But when he reached for his manual this morning, it felt odd, simultaneously real and unreal, and the realness won out as he brought it over to him. The cover had not changed-- but when he flipped the cover open, runes greeted him, not the curlicue characters of the Speech. He felt hot tears pricking his eyes and flipped through the book. Maybe, maybe--  
  
He closed the book gently and set it back on his bedside table. He wiped his eyes-- he was  _not_  going to cry-- and got out of bed. He stumbled through his morning routine and called Ben over the palace external communications. Ben who looked just as upset as Loki felt. “You, too?”  
  
“Last night,” he said. “I… the Oath no longer feels real, Loki.”  
  
“Just pretend it still matters. If we pretend hard enough, maybe we’ll still believe it.”  
  
Ben nodded disbelievingly and hung up. Loki stared at the console and then left for breakfast, sincerely hoping that Thor had already eaten. Frigga had, but Odin was buttering a last piece of toast. He took one look at Loki and said, “You lost your wizardry.”  
  
Loki nodded and pulled out his chair. He wasn’t hungry. He stared down at the wooden table for a minute before the lack of conversation and the crunch of Odin eating his toast became too much. He slid his chair back, grabbed a fruit plate, and sat down again to eat it. Wizard or not, he knew he still needed food. Once they’d both finished, Loki leaned back and looked at his father. “What do you need me to do now?”  
  
Odin looked old. Loki suddenly wondered why he hadn’t noticed that before. “We have a few reports to go over this morning. I then need you to go to your cafe to fetch someone who  _can_  help me. After you escort whoever it is back out of the palace, your duties to me are done for the day.”  
  
Useful only a wizard, then. Loki took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. It was the Pullulus. And he still needed to watch his brother. “Yes, All-father.”  
  
Odin looked slightly hurt, but said nothing. Of course not. He never would without someone or something prodding him. And Loki just was not in the mood for an argument-- or rather, he was and knew it would be completely counterproductive. Maybe he’d pick a fight with Thor on the training field later.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
He didn’t get a chance. When Loki came back to the royal wing, Thor met him in the main corridor, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Why were you escorting an adolescent out of here?” He dropped his arms and came toward Loki. “You’ve lost it, haven’t you? Wizardry?”  
  
Loki slowly inhaled. “Yes, Thor, I have. Now if you will excuse me--”  
  
“Why? It’s not like you have anything of use to be doing now.”  
  
Loki stared at him. “What?”  
  
Thor laughed. “You’re not a wizard anymore. You don’t have to try to prove yourself to be something you think the rest of Asgard can never be. You don’t need to prove your usefulness anymore. You can do what you’ve always wanted: curl up with books and be left alone.”  
  
Loki clenched his fists. “Thor, this isn’t like you.”  
  
“It’s all true though, isn’t it? You’ve lost your wizardry now, and even Father can no longer see a use for you.”  
  
Loki took two steps forward and punched Thor, breaking his nose. “Damn you, Thor! There’s more to being a wizard than having magic. And I will always,  _always_  be more valuable to the universe than you-- and you hate that. That’s why you’re gloating now that I’m nothing special.” He stared at his brother, who had a hand to his nose in a futile attempt to stop the blood. “Go fuck yourself.”  
  
Loki shoved passed Thor and headed down the steps into Frigga’s garden. He took several deep breaths when he reached the stone tile patio and stepped onto one of the mulched paths branching out from it. He wandered around the flowers and plants, listening to the birds singing in the trees placed here and there in the landscape and the bees humming as they pollinated the multitude of plants.  
  
He had to regain control. He may no longer have a wizard’s power, but he had still taken and meant the Oath. Still meant it, after four hundred years. It had caused him so much pain-- and so much pride. He  _knew_  that he had made a difference to the universe, to so many people. And now it all seemed to mean nothing: the universe was ending and there was literally nothing he could do now. He had lost his most valuable weapon and despite his intelligence, he knew there was no possible explanation or solution he could find in the libraries of Asgard. They would already have been thoroughly searched by Helga and her cadre of more senior wizards when the problem became evident.  
  
He kicked a lump of dirt one of the gardeners had left on the path from weeding and it crumbled. “Fuck.”  
  
Loki rubbed his damp eyes and found a bench to sit on. He’d known he’d lose his power. And the advantage his paramagic talents had given him had been mere hours, not the days or weeks he’d been hoping for. And he’d spent those hours  _asleep_.  
  
He sniffed, trying not to cry. Tears were of no use.  
  
“Loki?”  
  
He looked up when Frigga called his name. She stood near the entrance to the yew maze his brother and he had loved to play in as young children. He stood up and walked over to her. “Mother.”  
  
“Thor is absolutely furious at you.” She took one of Loki’s arms and escorted him into the maze. “Of course, you have reason to be furious at him. He did tell me what he said. However, it was still no reason to break his nose.”  
  
Loki contemplated saying that Thor deserved it, decided it was only mostly true, and kept his mouth shut. Mother patted his hand and made a left turn. “You need to apologize to him.”  
  
“I will.” He wasn’t childish enough to require that Thor apologize first.  
  
They walked in silence for a few minutes. At this point, Loki was absolutely sure that Frigga had deliberately gotten themselves lost or the gardeners had changed the maze layout. “Mother, where are we going?”  
  
She looked up at him. “Nowhere in particular. I thought a walk with your mother would do you good.”  
  
Loki snorted. “You weren’t wrong.”  
  
“Is there anything I can help you with?”  
  
“Unless you can fix the Pullulus and return wizardry, no.”  
  
She gave him a wry look. “That doesn’t sound like you, Loki.”  
  
“I wouldn’t normally break Thor’s nose, either.”  
  
She sighed. “Please don’t remind me.” She made a right turn, dragging Loki along with her. “Now. Tell your mother what she can do to help.”  
  
“What you have been doing. We both know that wizardry is as much talking and listening as it is working spells. But right now, everything seems futile. Father’s moving ahead to crown Thor, which will just lead us immediately into a war, if there’s even anything left of Asgard at that point.”  
  
“Your father’s tired, Loki. He was about Thor’s age when he took the throne. Now he merely wants to rest for his remaining years.”  
  
Loki looked up at the star-spotted sky, noting the odd patch of black near the zenith. “I doubt Asgard has that long.”  
  
She followed his gaze and then looked at him. “Loki, we can’t give up. There are how many wizards in the universe?”  
  
“Not enough. There never are, even when the Pullulus wasn’t a factor.”  
  
She paused. “You meant it when you told Thor that you were more important to the universe than he was.”  
  
Loki smiled bitterly. “From a certain point of view. A wizard, yes, I’m valuable. As the future king of Asgard, Thor has just as much power to affect events galaxy-wide. I don’t think he’s realized that yet. The Nova Corps has its own problems, but they keep well aware of what the Nine Realms are doing. So do those who have no allegiances or other empires or planets or… whatever else is out there.” He added bleakly, “Was out there.”  
  
Frigga sighed. “That was not quite an answer.”  
  
Loki shrugged, nearly removing his hand from Frigga’s elbow. “I can’t say whether or not I’m more valuable than he is. But I’m a wizard, Mother. There’s something special in simply being one. And it hurts to have that dismissed, to have my own brother say that I am no longer useful.”  
  
“I’ve talked with him about it. But both he and your father have become more stubborn in recent weeks. Do not expect him to apologize for what he said for a while.” She sighed. “I wish he would do so earlier, though. He’ll need to learn to swallow his pride to be an effective king.”  
  
“And you wonder why I think the coronation needs to be delayed.”  
  
Frigga shook her head. “No. I just have a little more faith in him than you do.”  
  
Loki held back a sigh. Maybe she had too much. But he didn’t say anything until they reached the center of the maze (after several wrong turns; he was right about Mother deliberately misdirecting them) and then retraced most of their steps to the entrance. “Thank you.”  
  
She kissed his cheek. “You’re welcome, Loki. Shall we head indoors?”  
  
He nodded and let her lead the way.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Three days later, after several crises (including a man murdered by a shovel and then dumped on the palace grounds), he woke and stretched. The light in his room seemed brighter than it had for the past few days. He sat up, brushed some hair off his face, and, out of habit, grabbed his manual. He’d flipped it open before he remembered-- and nearly shut it when he realized he was looking at the directory of wizards: with his name and status clearly visible in the center column.  
  
He dropped the manual in his lap, took in several large breaths, feeling his eyes prickling with tears of relief. He picked it up, flicked to the section on the Pullulus, and skimmed through the data he’d missed.  
  
He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked again. One Power, five humans (one of whom wasn’t even a wizard), a Demisiv, a Rirhait (during the early stages of the operation), a Wellakhit, and a  _dog_  managed to discover exactly what the Lone Power was doing with the Pullulus and then stop it: in the process helping an unfallen version of the Lone Power to embody. And then the dog turned into the Midgardian canine version of the One.  
  
Loki shut the manual and rubbed his forehead. If  _that_  was the summary, then the long version was going to be a headache-inducer. What was it with Midgard-- and that particular group of people?  
  
That was something to research later, if the privacy settings allowed him. Now and more importantly, the Pullulus was gone from Asgard and rapidly receding from near Jotunheim and the other Realms. And wizardry had returned. He flicked open his closet door for the sheer joy of it, moved his manual back to the bedside table, and got up. He had a feeling he wouldn’t have a chance to sit down again until well after midnight.


	12. A Change of Trouble

“We have trouble.”  
  
Loki looked up at Sif. “When don’t we?”  
  
She slid onto the bench next to Loki. She leaned across the table, blinking in the sunlight shining into her eyes. “This isn’t about the cleanup from the Pullulus. It’s Thor.”  
  
Loki sighed and gently closed the book he’d been studying. Her quiet tone told him enough. “What is he doing?”  
  
“He still wants to travel to Jotunheim. And he’ll wait until he’s crowned so Odin can’t forbid it.”  
  
Loki rubbed his forehead. “All right. Has he told you what he intends to do there?”  
  
“He won’t say. But I think it’s not a coincidence that the Warriors Three are preparing for something.”  
  
“He won’t tell you specifically?” Loki frowned. That wasn’t like his brother.  
  
“I think he knows that if it involves Jotunheim, I’ll inform you.”  
  
“And he hasn’t realized his silence is also informative.” Loki sighed again. “Right. You’ll act normally. I’ll… figure out a way to get him to talk to me.”  
  
She lay a hand over his. “You’d better do it fast.”  
  
Thor’s coronation was in three weeks.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Two days later, Loki sat curled up in one of the couch’s in Thor’s favored sitting room. The fire crackled merrily and Loki stared into it, ignoring his manual held open on his lap.  
  
Thor strode into the room and sat down on another of the couches. “What’s troubling you, Loki?”  
  
Loki half-smiled. Too many things, most of which Thor wouldn’t care about. But he could say the one he thought he would have needed to manipulate the conversation to. “Jotunheim.”  
  
Thor sat upright, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Do not worry about them, Loki. Their behavior during the Pullulus War will be addressed.”  
  
“By wizards.”  
  
Thor shook his head. “We can handle them without wizardry. The Jotuns will bow before the might of Asgard.”  
  
Loki snorted. “You intend on making Odin agree to this how?”  
  
“In a month, Odin will no longer be on the throne.”  
  
Loki sat upright, not letting his mingled fear and elation show in his expressions or body language. “Do you intend to restart the war?”  
  
Thor grinned. “It will be glorious and brief. Asgard will once again shine its light as the strongest of the Nine. The other Realms will no longer laugh at our weakness.”  
  
Weakness that Thor had at least tact enough to not lay at Loki’s feet. He’d overheard Thor once or twice spouting nonsense about having a wizard as the second prince showed the other Realms that Asgard was not ready to lead in a war. Every time, he’d scolded his brother later in private later. A Thor humiliated in front of others never listened.  
  
“Asgard is not weak, Thor.”  
  
“Nonsense. When was the last time our armies proved themselves?” He leaned back, a smile on his face. “I will prove myself before the Realms and our people will celebrate.”  
  
“I see nothing to celebrate, Thor, save a needless loss of life. The treaty holds.” Loki snapped his manual shut and left the room, the doors closing with a solid thunk behind him.  
  
Loki took a deep breath, whispered the finding spell for his father, and strode down the hall to his private study. He knocked once on the door and slipped inside. Odin’s eye widened, but he gestured to one of the seats near the fireplace. “You normally don’t bother me this late.”  
  
Loki stared into the flames. “It’s Thor.”  
  
Odin sighed and moved out from behind his desk and sat down in the seat on the other side of the fireplace. “Loki, I was unprepared to rule when I ascended to the throne. Thor will learn swiftly.”  
  
“Not swiftly enough. He’s decided that Laufey’s aggression during the Pullulus is reason enough to restart the war.”  
  
Odin shook his head. “Even Thor is not immature enough to throw away a thousand years of peace.”  
  
In response, Loki opened his manual and played the recording. Odin’s face went gray. “When did he say this?”  
  
“Just now.”  
  
Odin’s face regained a little color. “You manipulated the conversation.”  
  
“I did,” Loki said evenly. “I heard concerns a few days ago and decided to investigate. I also knew I needed to bring proof to you, as you have never listened to me about his unpreparedness.”  
  
“I thought it was jealousy.”  
  
Loki closed his eyes and counted to nine. He reopened them, determined to not yell at Odin. It would only be counterproductive at this point. “Am I jealous of my brother? Yes. Do I want his coronation to be delayed? Yes. These questions are unrelated. I do not desire the throne, though I dare say that I am more prepared for it than Thor.”  
  
“You are,” Odin said. “But you would hate it.”  
  
“I would.” Being mobile was far too important to him, even though there were other planets with royal families who spent almost their entire lives on their planet, even the wizarding lines. “But we are talking about Thor’s fitness to govern.”  
  
The firelight threw the lines on Odin’s face into sharp relief. “We are. I will not discuss this with Thor tonight. But I will do so in the morning.” Loki stood and Odin looked up at him. “Forgive me, son, for failing to listen to you earlier.”  
  
Loki thinned his lips. Odin had far too often dismissed him for forgiveness to be easily given. “Remember that I am a wizard, Father, and that I place Asgard’s well-being ahead of my own.”  
  
Without waiting for a response, Loki left Odin’s study and went to his chambers. He put his manual on his desk with a sigh. Tomorrow, then, would bring either success or failure.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki sat in the early morning sunlight, a light breakfast spread on a tray before him. He sipped the apple juice, reading through the news feeds, and put both down when the door to the hallway banged open. Thor stood there, hair tied back in a half-ponytail, and holding Mjolnir.  
  
Loki slid his chair back and stepped away from his table. “Thor?”  
  
“You recorded the conversation we had last night. You went Odin with it.”  
  
Ah. Though he hadn’t expected the conversation to occur  _this_  early. “I did.”  
  
Thor took a step toward him, small flickers of lightning beginning to play over Mjolnir’s head. Loki swallowed, silently recited the shield spell, and took a step to the left on the off-chance it would save his breakfast.  
  
“Odin canceled my coronation. He said that I was too irresponsible and childish by assuming wars are glorious.” Loki barely managed to keep his expression calm. Relief would not help contain Thor’s temper. Thor pointed Mjolnir at him. “And it is your doing.”  
  
“I cannot ignore any potential loss of life when my taking action would prevent it.”  
  
“Your duty is to  _Asgard_ , wizard. You are of the House of Odin--”  
  
“My Oath swore me to the  _Universe_ , not Asgard. It is why I will never sit on the throne.”  
  
Thor’s face contorted. “Now you just might. You manipulated me. You manipulated the All-father into this.  _It was my birthright_.”  
  
“One you do not deserve just yet.”  
  
Lightning erupted from Mjolnir and rebounded off the shield. Thor’s already furious expression turned thunderous. “You are a traitor! I was to be king!” He threw Mjolnir full-force Loki, who let the shield take the impact-- but he’d set it for lightning and it buckled.  
  
“I’ll see you on the training field, then, brother?”  
  
He whispered a spell of invisibility, not willing to leave his brother alone in his chambers. But Thor flew out the open door to the balcony, thunder cracking outside. Loki let out his breath, gestured the door to the hallway closed, and teleported to the training field his brother favored.  
  
He had mere seconds to restructure his shield to handle blows from Mjolnir and to think of some common spells that  _might_  work to calm Thor down. Psychotropic spells weren’t the answer; he’d just be even more furious when they wore off. But self-defense spells: sleep, temporary paralysis, even low-powered bolts of energy would given him a slight advantage.  
  
Sheets of lightning struck Loki’s shield and then a resounding crash that sent Loki staggering was his only indication that his reprieve was over. “Thor! This is not helping!”  
  
“I have no reason to listen you, snake.” Mjolnir impacted the shield again, buckling it slightly. Loki swallowed and then spoke the spell for paralysis. A few seconds of not being able to move might calm Thor down and at the very least, he wouldn’t be able to throw Mjolnir. But there was always the possibility that Thor would hate Loki even more now.  
  
And Loki couldn’t spend the entire fight underneath the shield, not without costing him more energy than he could spare trying to fight his brother. And not without proving to those watching that Loki didn’t know how to fight.  
  
Loki dropped the shield and the paralysis spell. Thor stood, breathing heavily, one fist clenched around Mjolnir's handle. “Brother, you forget your place.”  
  
Loki said, “It’s here, between you and the damage you could do.”  
  
Thor threw Mjolnir faster than Loki had seen him before-- not that he’d paid overly much attention to his brother’s fighting in recent decades. That had been a mistake.  
  
Loki dodged Mjolnir and spun, trying to keep both the hammer and Thor in his sight. But Thor ran at him and Loki had to duck to the side-- right into Mjolnir’s path. The hammer crushed his right shoulder, and Loki hung onto consciousness through sheer force of will. But Thor slammed into him from the left and tackled Loki to the ground. When his shoulder hit, Loki blacked out and woke to find Thor sitting on him, Mjolnir raised. The crowd was silent behind them.  
  
“Stop!” A blast of light threw Thor off him and Loki gasped when Odin walked into view, Gungnir aimed at Thor. Loki managed to get to his feet without throwing up from the pain and Odin glanced at him once before turning his attention back to Thor. “You conclusively proved Loki’s point.”  
  
“Father--”  
  
“I will hear no more from you, Thor. Go to my office. Now.”  
  
Thor marched off the training field, the crowd parting before him. Odin turned then to Loki. “You need the healing rooms.”  
  
Loki didn’t even want to look at his shoulder. He couldn’t feel his arm, but the blood running down his front and back, soaking the nightclothes he hadn’t had a chance to change out of, told him enough. When a skiff landed, Odin helped Loki into it and then walked back into the palace.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki leaned against the pillow and ran his fingers over the bandage Eir had insisted on Loki wearing even after the wizard healer Loki has requested treat him had repaired the damage. Loki hadn’t argued; people would expect to see something of the sort given how terrible the damage was and how swiftly gossip spread.  
  
“Loki…”  
  
Loki dropped his hand from the fabric and smiled at his mother. “I wasn’t going to remove it.”  
  
Frigga shook her head fondly. “Not yet, you wouldn’t have. But please remember I raised you. If you kept picking at it, it would be gone by nightfall.”  
  
“I need you to leave the bandage on until the morning,” Odin said from the doorway.  
  
“Politics?” Loki said.  
  
Odin sighed wearily and sank into the room’s other chair. “Indeed.”  
  
“What will happen to Thor?” he asked quietly, when no one spoke for a minute.  
  
“His punishment has already begun: I exiled him. If he could not see reason, if he weren’t so damn sure that he knew best and damn the Realms, and if he was so angry that he attacked his own brother for doing his duty by both Asgard and his Oath, then I could not see how Thor could here relearn the lessons needed to be a good king. The admiration has only fed into his arrogance.”  
  
“Odin, where is Thor?” Frigga said.  
  
Odin closed his eye. “I sent him to Midgard-- as a mortal.”  
  
“As a  _what_?” Frigga shouted. “He could die!”  
  
Loki’s jaw had dropped open and he shut it. This, he could handle. “Mother, I’ll talk to the Planetary there. She’ll have people keep an eye on him--”  
  
Odin opened his eye. “ _No_ , Loki. Your brother sincerely tried to commit fratricide. You are to avoid Midgard; I do not want you on the same Realm as him.”  
  
“But--”  
  
“Helga will contact Midgard’s Planetary.  _You_  are to prove that the House of Odin is not in danger of implosion. Word has already spread off-Realm of Thor’s behavior. We need to focus on repairing the damage.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
It was only when Loki walked back into his chambers that evening, after an afternoon spent in meeting and an evening meal full of politics, that he allowed himself to sink onto his couch and stopped pushing aside the horror of his brother attempting to murder him.  
  
Thor… Thor had… Thor had been only seconds away from killing him. He had never expected to be a target, an enemy. But doing his duty had reframed him as such.  
  
Even Thor’s learning Loki was a Jotun by birth hadn’t caused an attempt, no matter that Thor had believed they were monsters.  
  
But convincing Odin to cancel the coronation-- that had been enough.  
  
Thor was… Loki didn’t want to think about it. But he wouldn’t be any good as a wizard if he couldn’t confront unpleasant truths. He stared down at his hands. He had hurt his brother and thrown Asgard into temporary chaos-- but Thor had reacted exactly how he should not have and… and fratricide was Thor’s answer to the problem of what to do to the one who had ensured Asgard’s safety.  
  
Loki didn’t know what to think, to feel. He was scared for his brother, but he never wanted to see him again. He wouldn’t be able to trust Thor at the very least and there was no guarantee that Thor would  _ever_  repent for his actions. It was rather more likely that he would stew in his anger. If he did, Loki thought it rather unlikely that he would meet Odin’s requirement for return. And that was something else he would have to come to terms with: his brother may die on Midgard, four thousand years earlier than an Asgardian’s normal lifespan.  
  
Compared to the usual swift execution of someone who tried to assassinate one of the royal family, a mortal’s lifespan was a generous allowance.  
  
Loki’s shoulders shook as he tried to not weep. He didn’t want Thor to die-- but he didn’t want to live with him, either.  
  
A soft knocking on the door made Loki look up from his hands. “Enter.”  
  
Sif pushed the door open and Ben followed her into the room. He shut the door and both of them sat down, Ben on the couch and Sif dragged over the chair Loki kept near his fireplace. Neither one of them said anything.  
  
Loki finally asked, “Why are you here?”  
  
Ben said, “Sif contacted me while you were in the healing rooms. We agreed to come here once you were done with the court for the day.”  
  
“We knew you’d need friends.”  
  
Loki managed a small smile. “You are welcome. But I fear I am poor company.”  
  
Sif snorted. “We’d be worried if you  _weren’t_. Give us some credit, Loki. Thor was my friend, too, and I never expected he would go so far.”  
  
Ben nodded. “How are you?”  
  
Loki laughed bitterly. “My own brother tried to kill me. I don’t know  _what_  to think.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Sif said. “Is there anything you want to do?”  
  
Loki shook his head. “Silence is about all I am capable of.”  
  
“Then we’ll do that,” Ben said. He pulled out a book from his otherspace pocket and Sif sank into her chair after lighting the fire. Loki curled up, his manual unopened in his lap, and stared at it, mind whirling in a thousand directions.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki rubbed his eyes and sat upright in bed when a servant entered the room. “Queen Frigga requests your presence.”  
  
Loki dismissed the servant with a wave of the hand and sighed. This early in the morning was rarely good.  
  
He swiftly washed and dressed before walking to his parents’ chamber. The door opened when he pushed on it and his mother stood in the middle of the room, holding Gungnir. “Mother?”  
  
She reached out her hand and Loki took it. “Your father fell into the Odinsleep last night after you’d retired for the night. I felt it best that you get some sleep after yesterday’s… events before laying the burden of the throne on you.”  
  
Loki stared at her and took Gungnir at her prompting. “Mother--”  
  
“I do not give a damn what Odin thinks about wizards on Asgard’s throne. You will be regent until he wakes.”  
  
Loki rested Gungnir on the ground and met her eyes. “I will make you proud, Mother.” He bowed his head a little. “Do we know when Father will wake?”  
  
Mother shook her head. “Eir was unable to determine that. It was brought on by both your father waiting until he could abdicate and the stresses of yesterday.” She squeezed Loki’s hand. “How are you doing?”  
  
Loki pulled back his hand and let out a bark of incredulous laughter. “I don’t know! My own brother tried to kill me yesterday. I am glad he is exiled so I do not need to see him, much less confront him over his actions. Yet he is still my brother and I cannot truly understand why he felt murder was the answer to his problems. He has always been reckless, stubborn, and prideful, but this was unusual even by his standards.”  
  
“I know.” She lay a hand on Loki’s cheek. “Go sit on the throne and prove that Asgard still has leadership. Later, we can discuss what happened yesterday, mother to son.”  
  
Loki reached up and took her hand, briefly kissing the palm before letting go. “If Asgard doesn’t fall apart, of course.”  
  
Frigga laughed a little. “Go, son.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki spent the morning on the throne, letting the curious court and some visitors see him. He gave some minor judgements and deferred others for Odin’s perusal, trying to strike a fine balance between ruling and knowing that as regent, his every move would be questioned by everyone on down from Odin when he woke. And then there was the fact that he was a wizard…  
  
He gladly left the throne when it came time for the midday meal, choosing to take it in Odin’s office as his father usually did. It would give him time to study some of the ongoing situations as well as a few moments of blessed privacy. Once out of the throne room, he muttered spell to be unremarkable so he could walk the short distance without being accosted by courtiers.  
  
“Do you think he did it on purpose?”  
  
“He’s a wizard; everyone knows they wouldn’t.”  
  
“But this is  _Loki_.”  
  
Loki moved to the side of the corridor so he could eavesdrop on the conversation without being in anyone’s way. He stood a few feet away from a cluster of nobility, none of whom he’d thought had any particular grievances with him.  
  
“So? With Thor exiled and Odin in the Sleep, he’s the one the law demands rule.”  
  
“But look at the timing-- he was the one who Thor attacked and not long after that the coronation was canceled and Thor exiled. And then the All-father fell into the Odinsleep not a day later. I say he manipulated the entire thing so he could rule. Everyone knows he wouldn’t be allowed to sit on the throne otherwise.”  
  
“He has made no indication in recent decades that he even wants it.”  
  
“Misdirection.”  
  
Loki began walking again, a burning in the pit of his stomach. How many of the court believed it? How much of the  _populace_? Would he lead Asgard straight into a civil war by mere virtue of being regent?  
  
He entered Odin’s office, set a ward to ensure he wouldn’t be disturbed, and sat down behind the desk. He ignored the light lunch of beef soup and slice of white bread and stared at the opposite wall, not really focusing on the contents of the shelving.  
  
First: they weren’t wrong that it was directly because of his actions in ending Thor’s coronation that Loki was on the throne.  
  
Second: it wasn’t deliberate; he hadn’t known or even suspected that Odin was teetering on the edge of the Odinsleep.  
  
Third: he was a wizard. It was common knowledge in the court that Odin did not want him on the throne.  
  
Fourth: he was a wizard. It was fact that Loki did not lie in the All-tongue and could not lie in the Speech.  
  
Fifth: he would likely  _not_  be directly asked if he was the cause of this, save only by those who had reason to speak with him personally. The court would want to know the truth even as it thrived on gossip, half-truths, and politicking. An announcement, even in the Speech, would cause suspicion. He had to pretend he had heard nothing unless and until he was asked to explain himself.  
  
Sixth: he needed to enlist as many allies as he could. Asgardian wizards as a whole needed to be warned that trouble was brewing. And all of this needed to be done quietly in case people misinterpreted it as him gathering an army to hold onto power after he should have returned the throne to Odin.  
  
Loki rubbed his forehead and forced himself to eat his lunch. Getting through the afternoon without losing his temper would be difficult enough without needing to tip the odds further by being hungry.  
  
He took down the ward, rang for a servant to remove the empty tray, and signaled to his aide to allow the first person waiting for an audience into the office.  
  
He was not expecting Sif.  
  
She bowed and sat down without prompting in the chair before the desk. “You have a problem.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow. “I have a multitude of problems, Sif. You need to be more specific.”  
  
“The Warriors Three believe that you planned this deliberately.”  
  
Loki sighed. “They’re not the only ones. What are the Three thinking of doing?”  
  
“Going to Thor and convincing him to return to Asgard.”  
  
Loki wanted to hit his head on the desk. “Do they not understand that it is treason? A coup? That it would likely lead to my death?”  
  
“I think they don’t care about the treason angle because they believe  _you_  usurped the throne and Thor’s birthright at almost quite literally the last minute. And no, I’m sure they’re not thinking enough to connect the reason that Thor was exiled to the end result.”  
  
“Or they just don’t care.”  
  
Sif gave him a pointed look. “They care. They just don’t care enough. They aren’t your friends.”  
  
“And for the second time in a week, you have come to me for help in preventing catastrophe. This time, you did it openly.”  
  
She smiled. “It’s not the only reason I came. My mother tasked me to deliver an invitation for dinner tomorrow evening.”  
  
The desk looked more inviting than before, though he did groan. “Does she still hope that we will marry?”  
  
“Probably. But this is just an attempt to curry favor. And, I think, to give you a bit of breathing space. It’s an intimate dinner-- just my family, a few friends, and you.”  
  
“Not Mother?”  
  
Sif shook her head. “Everyone knows she’d rather stay by Odin’s side.”  
  
“It’s also making it clear that she’s not ruling me like a puppet master because the law required me to sit on the throne rather than her.”  
  
“There is that.” She sighed. “What are you going to do about the Warriors Three?”  
  
“If they try to leave, Heimdall will stop them. But if you can maneuver them to confront me openly in the throne room, well, the Speech is useful to me for more than one reason. I may be able to change a few minds without needing to have anyone arrested.”  
  
“Good.” She stood up. “And good luck, Loki. Given the crowd out there, you’re going to need it.”  
  
This time, he did rest his head on the desk. Sif laughed. “I’ll tell Mother you accepted her invitation.”  
  
Loki lifted his head to raise his eyebrows at her and she grinned at him before leaving the room. Loki took a deep breath and straightened in his chair before the next supplicant arrived.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
The next morning, Loki sat on the throne, looking at the crowded throne room, breathing evenly in a reminder to keep a firm grip on his temper. Rumors had spread overnight and people wanted answers. The missive Heimdall had sent him over breakfast warning of Asgard’s discontent had been the confirmation Loki needed.  
  
When the Warriors Three stepped forward, Loki stared down at them, the whispers in the room quieting to silence. Volstagg glanced nervously at Fandral and Hogun. He said, “Your majesty, we have concerns that only you can answer.”  
  
Loki gestured for him to continue.  
  
“We are concerned that your presence on the throne is… unorthodox.”  
  
“The law is perfectly clear on the line of succession,” Loki said-- in the Speech. It would be the only way people would believe him.   
  
“Well, yes. But the timing of events is suspicious. Can you say that you had nothing to do with the events that placed you here?”  
  
“I cannot.” Not to his surprise, the crowd began whispering to each other. He waited for silence before continuing. “Thor was exiled because he attempted fratricide. He did so because I brought Odin All-father evidence that Thor was unfit to be king and Thor reacted poorly to the cancellation. However, apart from being a cause of general stress that helped provoke Odin into the Sleep, I had nothing to do with the Sleep. I did  _not_  plan to be on the throne and I will happily step down when Odin wakes.”  
  
Volstagg said, “How can we be sure you will?”  
  
Loki stood and glared down at him. “In the Powers’ names and the Name of That which They serve and on my oath as Regent of Asgard, I swear.”  
  
Silence greeted that statement before the noise in the room rose to an almost deafening volume as people reacted. Loki sat and listened to the tumult. He hated that he had to make so public a statement, one that would have consequences both immediate and in the future-- not the least of which was that the ruler of Asgard’s balance of power had shifted somewhat. But it may be only a temporary thing, specific to Loki’s regency. Odin would not tolerate the court openly questioning him in public.  
  
As the crowd quieted, Loki said to the Warriors Three, “Is there anything else?”  
  
Volstagg shook his head, looking abashed. “No, your majesty. Thank you, your majesty.”  
  
They stepped back into the crowd near Sif. She shook her head at them and then caught Loki’s eyes and smiled.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Three days later, Loki shut the door to his chambers and leaned back against it momentarily before reaching up to unbuckle his cloak. He froze mid motion. “Father?”  
  
Odin stood near the fireplace, silhouetted against the flames. “Sit down, Loki.”  
  
Loki tossed his cloak over the desk chair and sat down on the couch. “Gungnir--”  
  
“We have the official restoration of power ceremony in the morning. I merely wished to talk to you.” Loki yawned and Odin said with a small smile, “Briefly.”  
  
Loki nodded. “I--”  
  
“Do not thank me yet.” Loki’s stomach knotted. “I understood that you had little other option to prevent treason from a few and possibly outright civil war and a violent coup. You did well at that, though I dislike how much your actions opened the monarchy to mob rule. It will not be allowed to continue.”  
  
“I thought as much.”  
  
“Nevertheless, it was an elegant solution, one that could not be questioned. Using the Speech--”  
  
“Was the only option. Many would not have believed it had I sworn in the All-tongue.”  
  
Odin nodded. “We will discuss politics and policy in detail come morning. Now, I merely wished to see how my son was.”  
  
Loki sank back in his chair and watched the flames. “Being regent gave me distance. Now I have little choice but to confront what occurred between Thor and me. I will need time, Father, nothing else.”  
  
“Time you shall have, Loki.” He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Loki stayed in the chair, staring at the flames, until he fell asleep.


	13. For Life's Sake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Interim Errantry: Lifeboats_ , IDiD-style.

Loki stared at the head of the Species Archivist as she peered around the mostly empty council chamber. “Ma’am?”  
  
Mamvish looked at Loki with one revolving eye, a riot of gold and red Speech characters roiling just under her hide. She turned the other eye at Odin, who had dropped his jaw at her sudden intrusion into the private conversation they were having after the end of the meeting, and was rapidly looking like he was about to begin shouting. Mamvish said, “Loki Odinson of Asgard, well met in haste and on the business of the Powers we jointly serve!”  
  
Loki stared in numb shock as she invoked Wizard’s Right. When she finally finished the invocation, he swallowed. He didn’t look at Odin. Ongoing diplomatic meetings or not, this was more important. “Yes, I’ll come.”  
  
“Good. A timeslide will be issued for you, so you will be gone from your local time for no longer than ten minutes.”  
  
That neatly solved his main problem. “Supplies?”  
  
“A pup tent is also being issued; stock it with what you will need.” She took in a deep breath. “How soon can you arrive?”  
  
“Within an hour.”  
  
“If you can get to the Crossings faster than that, do so.  _Dai stihó_!”  
  
She vanished just as swiftly as she’d appeared. Loki slowly turned his head to face Odin. He was a little gray. “An entire species?”  
  
“Yes.” Loki ran his fingertips along the grain of the table’s wood.  
  
“Go.”  
  
Loki blinked. “What?”  
  
“Go. What I have to say can wait.”  
  
Loki blinked again, stunned. Ever since Thor’s exile and Loki’s regency, Odin had been treating him with a mix of pride and hesitance. Loki didn’t know what to make of it most days, but knew that Odin had never seen him as a worthy heir to the throne before due specifically to Loki’s wizardry. But now?  
  
He bowed his head and hurried out of the council chamber, walking at a swift pace back to his chambers. Running would likely cause him to run into someone or someone to run into him. He pulled out his manual, not liking how thick it was suddenly and  _especially_  not liking the précis the book fell open to, even though it answered none of his questions about why he was chosen. A planet-moon system was falling apart and the entire species needed to be evacuated… Loki dearly hoped they’d be able to save everyone in time.  
  
Upon returning to his chambers, he removed the tent’s little black circle from the page, hanging it in the air and pulling it open wide and tall enough that he could walk into it. Bed, bedding, clothing for all weathers (as he didn’t know where on the planet he’d be assigned), food, water, things for cleaning himself, a camping toilet (he wasn’t going to risk not being able to use the local facilities), entertainment (he knew he’d have to do  _something_  to try to relax when he had the time), and some other odds and ends. He looked around his chambers for a minute, closed the portal so he could fetch the last supplies he needed, and nearly ran into his mother when he opened the door to the corridor.  
  
She embraced him and said, “Your father told me. Be careful, Loki.”  
  
“I will, Mother.” He kissed her cheek, closed his door behind him, and hurried out of the royal wing to the kitchens.  
  
When he finally had everything he needed, he deactivated the tent, shoved it into the top of his right boot next to his favorite knife, and walked out of the palace. When he reached the spot he normally teleported from, he said, “Time marker.” It would allow the timeslide to bring him back here when he activated it for the return. Only then did he teleport to the Knotwork Cafe-- and appeared a fair distance further down the street that he was used to. When he saw the crowd of people around the cafe, he raised his eyebrows. He’d never seen this many Asgardian wizards together, not even during the Pullulus.  
  
He joined the crowd and pulled out his manual to read more of the précis while he waited. What he read was not at all comforting, not the least because of the horrifying knowledge that some Tevaralti didn’t  _want_  to evacuate. Loki had to take several deep breaths at that point just to keep calm. The middle-aged woman next to him gave him a sympathetic glance but otherwise said nothing. It was always strange for him to be around Asgardian wizards he’d never met before. Equals in the Art they might be, but Asgardian rank and protocol was never far from anyone’s minds.  
  
Even with the crowd, the wait for the worldgate passed faster than Loki expected. When he saw the worldgate stretched twice as wide as normal, he no longer wondered why. And then he was in the Crossings.  
  
He hurried out of the way and over to a nearby gate-herald post that didn’t have anyone next to it. He looked over the crowd for a moment, noticing the general directional trends of it, and then checked the map in his manual to see where to go.  
  
He found a seat in the auditorium near the 400s gates and listened to Mamvish’s briefing, going cold when he saw exactly what would happen to Tevaral when its moon Thesba broke apart. When he learned that he would be doing little else but minding a worldgate for days on end, he no longer questioned why he’d been chosen to help. But the amount of Tevaralti who wished to remain on a dying world… That bothered him in a way he wasn’t sure he could explain to anyone.  
  
When he finally found his assignment and learned he wouldn’t be gating to Tevaral for another hour, he wandered down the concourse to a restaurant kiosk near the gate and sat down, not paying much attention to a group of Midgardians chatting at the far end of the counter. They stood in a hurry when Group 5611GH was called to their hex. His was called not much later.  
  
When he arrived on Tevaral, Loki immediately looked up and his mouth went dry at the sight of the moon hanging above him, partly glowing red with lava flows. He looked down, not wanting to see something hanging in the sky so close above the ground. Asgard… Asgard was different enough that he wanted to ignore Thesba’s existence while he came to grips with the magnitude of the task he would shortly be doing.  
  
After a few minutes of waiting, he finally arrived at the worldgate he was asked to attend to. He stepped off the short-jump hex and looked around him. Snowcapped mountains in the distance, a broad plain with a forest at the near edge, a green-gold sky, and six small worldgates feeding into a medium-sized one. Loki took a deep breath and turned away from them and the tent-city of Tevaralti beyond them. Right now, he had to find the wizard whose monitoring duties he would be relieving so hae could work on a more free-floating basis.  
  
They spent little time together; just enough for haem to point out where to put Loki’s pup tent (on a boulder a short distance from the gates) and teach Loki how to monitor the gates.  
  
“You will have two others joining you within the next few hours, no later than the next day.”  
  
Fantastic. Loki would be here alone for the Powers knew how long. He sat down in the long grass and leaned against the boulder, the cool stone a welcome comfort from the heat of the day. He glanced up at the clear sky, desperately glad that Thesba had  _not_  been in the sky when he’d arrived. Seeing the moon at night was horrible; he didn’t want to see it during the day.  
  
Not that he would have much of a choice when it rose.  
  
He rubbed his forehead, grabbed a canteen of water from his pup tent, resumed his seat on the ground, and drank half of it. His manual floated in front of him, displaying the readout of about the gates. He set it to hover above the manual so that he could peruse the rest of the documents about the intervention.  
  
He was merely one of the first wave, brought it earlier than most because of his propensity to find natural worldgates on Asgard. But it didn’t make him an expert on how to discipline them, which he knew he’d have to do sooner or later. As Tevaral gained more gates, his would become more and more likely to misbehave. Not that gates in close proximity were normally well-behaved.  
  
It was at dusk, three hours after Thesba rose and well over half a day after Loki settled in, when Loki heard footsteps in the grass. He stood up and stepped around the boulder. “ _Dai stihó_. I’m Loki Odinson.”  
  
“ _Dai_. I’m Amanada,” the purple-skinned woman with even darker purple hair said.  
  
Loki gestured at the boulder. “Put your tent on it; there isn’t any other place for it.”  
  
“I wonder how multiple tents will affect the boulder’s composition?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “I’m sure it’s in the manual. Set it up and I’ll go over the gating display with you.  
  
She tossed the tent onto the boulder and gestured, a drop of liquid hovering above her outstretched palm, a copy of the gate display appearing above it. Loki showed her what to do, let her shadow him for an hour while he dealt with a cranky gate, and when he was confident she knew what to, went into his tent to sleep.  
  
Not that he was able to fall asleep immediately. He checked the manual listing; none of his friends were here yet, though Asgard was listed as a participating in the intervention. He sighed, closed the book, and tossed it onto the small table that would double as a desk. He gestured the light off and pulled the blanket over him.  
  
Not that it helped with the knowledge that there was a moon in the process of falling apart orbiting over him.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
He woke up to find that it was still dark and that Amanada had just been joined by the third member of their team, a green-furred biped of a species Loki had never seen before. Hae introduced haemself to Loki and crouched down to look at Amanada’s display. Loki said, “Any problems?”  
  
“Nothing major,” Amanada said. “Are you going somewhere?”  
  
Loki gestured back at the boulder, visible in the lanterns Amanada had set up. “Just to my tent, unless Trelt would prefer to wait until later to take haes shift.”  
  
“Hae would prefer to do so now.”  
  
Loki nodded at them and went back to his tent. After collapsing onto his bed, he pulled out his manual and flipped to the messaging function when he saw Ben’s name in the on-planet list. “Ben?”  
  
The word grayed out and then he heard his friend’s voice. “Loki! Why am I not surprised to find you here already?”  
  
Loki snorted. “You would have been here earlier if  _you_  kept finding worldgates. How long have you been on planet?”  
  
“I’ve been at the arrival point for a few minutes. There’s some gravitational anomalies they’re worried about so they’re waiting to transfer people on.” He paused. “It’s unnerving, isn’t it?”  
  
“Thesba or this situation?” Loki sighed. “Both. Thesba makes me glad Asgard’s moons are stable. But I can’t understand why the Tevaralti won’t leave. I spent my time watching my gates yesterday trying to do as much research as possible. But no one has any answers.”  
  
“This isn’t the easiest intervention we’ve ever been on.”  
  
Even Jotunheim had been better than this. Then, he known that his life was in danger, but this was… He knew better than to imagine Asgard facing something similar. It would haunt his dreams more than the local reality. “What makes this worse is that there’s  _nothing_  I can do to help them. We need to watch the gates for those who want to live.”  
  
“We can handle it. We wouldn’t be here if the Powers didn’t think we could.”  
  
That in and of itself was reassuring. But it was more of a numbers game than anything else: throw enough wizards at a problem and something would happen. And it had worked for the Pullulus War. But this wasn’t anything the Lone Power had openly caused to happen; it was a simple matter of physics that could not be changed. “Where are you stationed?”  
  
“An already evacuated city in the northern hemisphere. I don’t know where, exactly. Úlfrun is on the opposite side of the planet from us; I doubt we’ll see her. But we’ll hear from her via the manuals.”  
  
“Good. Spending the first half day here alone was… unpleasant.” It had given him far too much time to think, despite the gates and the research. Loki shook his head. “I know what you said about the Powers thinking we’re able to handle it. But I’m not sure I can.”  
  
Ben sighed. “We’re doing what we can, Loki.”  
  
“I know. I simply wish I could do more.”  
  
“I think we all do. Where are you located?”  
  
“In some fields near some mountains. I think the Powers stuck me there rather than in the middle of a city where I’m constantly surrounded by buildings that should be full of people and aren’t.”  
  
“I’d rather be in a city, honestly. It reminds me of why we’re helping: cities can be rebuilt.”  
  
Loki sighed. “Different psychologies. You’re happiest surrounded by people, which is why you and Úlfrun rented that apartment.”  
  
“Hey, having four other people living with me lessens the expenses.”  
  
Loki grimaced. Money was one thing he never had to worry about. “It’s not the only reason, though.”  
  
“No, you’re right. But all five of us are wizards, so…”  
  
Loki fiddled with his hands. “Sometimes, I’m jealous.”  
  
Ben snorted. “Who never is? No one. It’s a normal emotion. But you don’t let it eat at you.”  
  
“If I had, I’d never be here.”  
  
For more than one reason beyond lack of wizardry. His regency had been a near disaster. And if he hadn’t been offered wizardry, he could well imagine how bitter he could have been.  
  
“Loki, they’re ready for me. I’ll see you when I see you?”  
  
“ _Dai_ , Ben.”  
  
Loki shut the manual and put it on the table. Talking with Ben had helped a little, but he’d reminded Loki exactly what could have happened with Asgard and himself, which was never a comfortable subject. He’d only learned he was a Jotun by birth because of his wizardry. How long would he have gone without knowing that? And how much trouble would he have dragged Asgard into when he learned? He only had the friends he did because of wizardry and they were the major reason he hadn’t reacted worse.  
  
Loki knew that he would never learn exactly why the Powers chose him to be a wizard, but right now, it would be comforting to know.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Six days later, after an extremely late night thanks to a recalcitrant gate, Loki stepped out of his tent in the late morning to discover Trelt and Amanada conversing together. Loki headed over there but stopped when Amanada spread her hands wide in the gesture he’d come to know as her expression of joy. “They’re leaving!”  
  
“The Tevaralti who refused to leave?” Loki spun to look at the camp-- or rather, the remnants of one.  
  
Trelt said, “Yes! It happened after you retired. Something someone did at another place made a difference.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
Trelt heaved haes body up and down in haes version of a shrug. “Unknown.”  
  
It didn’t surprise Loki when he learned that it was a human-- and specifically the human male from a very effective wizarding partnership who had also been (and still was) associated with the One.  _That_  was something he didn’t need to contemplate now.  
  
When Loki returned to Asgard after his gates had been decommissioned, Odin met him at the entrance to the royal wing. He stared at his son. “Well?”  
  
Loki smiled. “We saved them all. Now if you’ll excuse me, Father, I should clean up and attempt to take a nap before the feast tonight.”  
  
Odin stepped to the side and Loki returned to his chambers. He stayed awake long enough to unpack the tent and briefly wash before collapsing onto the bed. A servant woke him an hour before sunset, giving Loki just enough time to change into feast clothes and remind himself of the political situation that Odin and he had been discussing, from Loki’s standpoint, a week ago.


	14. Until Universe's End

Loki sat down on a bench in the hotel’s garden, thankful that he had the afternoon free from the diplomatic dance that the treaty between the Xandarians and the Kree required. He was not the only wizard here and, in fact, was one of the lesser delegates, more here to learn and observe than to participate. It made Loki wonder occasionally just what the Powers were preparing him for. Between being the current heir to the throne and the numerous diplomatic interventions he’d been on over the centuries, it felt as if he wasn’t being prepared for a kingship (despite his position on Asgard) but rather an ambassadorialship as a diplomat at large. That… wasn’t something he minded.  
  
Loki startled to his feet, whispering a shield into being around him when something in the near distance sizzled. That had the distinctive sound of energy weapons. And at  _this_  conference…  
  
He ran indoors and barely avoided crashing into the security barrier that had been raised. He spent several long moments letting his spell and manual permissions sync with the hotel’s barrier before it let him through. He swiftly found the security gathering point.  
  
One of the lieutenants pulled him to the side to show him the security footage of a green-skinned woman with red hair running from the security forces firing at her. “Thankfully, we saw her before she could assassinate anyone,” she said. “No one was injured, but both the Nova Corps and the Kree are demanding an accounting before the talks proceed.”  
  
Loki nodded. “Do we know anything about her?”  
  
She gave him a strange look. “She’s Gamora, a daughter of Thanos. She’s highly trained and one of the most capable assassins in the galaxy.”  
  
Thanos… Loki felt the blood drain from his cheeks when he recalled where he’d heard that name before. “ _The_  Thanos?”  
  
The lieutenant shrugged. “I don’t know anything about that. You’ll have to talk to the head of security.”  
  
“I shall.” Loki thanked the guard and returned to his room to do some research before asking questions that the answer may already be known. This could wait until the furor over the immediate aftermath died down.  
  
Loki sat on the reading chair by the window and flipped open his manual, frowning when he saw how little information there was.  
  
_Unknown species of origin (suspected Titan). Unknown capabilities. He has committed multiple counts of genocide.  
  
Known associates: Chitauri, Ronan the Destroyer.  
  
WARNING: Do not approach. No one has survived the encounter. Research is ongoing as to who Thanos is._  
  
Loki stared down at the text on the page and then said, “Infinity Stones locations, please.”  
  
The pages obliging flipped to a list near the beginning of the book: of which there was  _one_  Stone known. The others had blank data after their names, having been lost during the millennia since the war against the original Thanos ended. Loki groaned and shut the book, dropping it onto his lap. One Stone-- and it was on Midgard.  
  
If this was the original Thanos, if the incarnation of the Lone Power had broken out of his prison phulakic volume… The  _universe_  was in danger only slightly less than during the Pullulus.  
  
He left his hotel room and found the head of the wizarding delegation, who had just left the security room. “Ma’am.”  
  
She looked over at him, her silver eyebrows raising. “Prince Loki. You seem perturbed.”  
  
“Thanos--”  
  
“He is a known threat, one both the Nova Corps and the Kree are actively investigating. He is a warlord that we cannot let affect this part of the galaxy much longer.”  
  
“I think he’s the original Thanos.”  
  
She stared at him and then shook her head. “You are not the first person to assume that. There have been others in the wilds of the galaxy who have taken his name and tried to continue his work. There is no indication that this Thanos is different.”  
  
Loki said, “The Infinity Stones--”  
  
“Have been lost to history and wizardry. There has been no movement on anyone’s part to look for them.”  
  
“But--”  
  
She studied him. “I release you from your duties here, Prince Loki. Clearly you feel this is worth investigating. Far be it from me to ignore a wizard’s intuition.”  
  
Loki bowed his head. “Thank you.”  
  
He spun around, hurrying back to his room to pack his few belongings. Less than an hour later, he was back on Asgard.  
  
Odin met him at the door to the library, Gungnir upright on the ground near him. He did not look pleased. “When you return home, I expect you to report to me,  _especially_  when it concerns diplomatic ties between two warring empires.”  
  
Loki took a deep breath and let it out. “All-father, I discovered a situation that superseded that assignment and that we may be able to stop if we can ally ourselves--”  
  
“For what purpose?”  
  
Loki said softly, “I believe Thanos has returned.”  
  
Odin’s face grayed. He looked at the door to the library and said, “When you have finished your research-- No, when you have located useful volumes, bring them to my office.” He reached out and clasped Loki’s shoulder. “This will not be solved in one day.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Odin lowered his hand and walked away. Loki took another deep breath and went into the library.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Four days later, Loki sighed at the hologram of the Tesseract rotating above Odin’s desk. “Why couldn’t the humans have left it in the ocean?”  
  
“When the Infinity Stones want to be found, they have a way of making sure they are.”  
  
“I do not like the thought of that.”  
  
“Neither do I. But it has proven true time and again over the millennia. One Stone or another has always meant chaos.” Odin sighed. “I hope this is merely the only one. But if this truly is Thanos, then he will be actively searching for its signal. The Space stone will be one of the keys of his conquest.”  
  
“I know. And it was used once, mere decades ago. That left a signature. The humans’ work with it now will be a beacon.”  
  
Odin looked at Loki and shut off the hologram. “You need to retrieve the Tesseract from Midgard. Diplomacy would be best, but outright theft may be the only possible solution. Mortals  _cannot_  be trusted with it.”  
  
Wizards could be, Loki thought. But even then, Earth was nigh defenseless against an invading army.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Sif leaned against the doorway, watching Loki pace back and forth. “Are you worried the humans will refuse outright?”  
  
Loki laughed. “Hardly. In fact, I expect them to do so.” He looked down at his hands and then at his knives. “I’m worried I’ll meet Thor. One of his friends works on the project, though Thor does not know that.”  
  
Sif straightened. “He must have changed. It’s been over a year.”  
  
“And what if he hasn’t?” Loki turned to look at her. “He tried to kill me, Sif. He has yet to pick up Mjolnir.  _What if he tries to murder me again_?”  
  
She shook her head. “You are both a wizard and an Asgardian. He has little more than a mortal’s strength now. I do not think it would be an even fight.”  
  
“It wouldn’t. But that’s not my point. I don’t want to see him, Sif. Not unless and until I know he feels sincere repentance for his actions.”  
  
“Fair enough. I’ll keep him away from you if he approaches.”  
  
“Thank you.” Loki shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Thor was not and could not be his main concern. His duty was to protect Midgard by removing the Tesseract from the Realm. Anything else was secondary to that.  
  
He let out his breath and quirked a smile. “If the chocolate investors heard about the threat toward Earth, maybe the Realm won’t be as easy to attack as everyone has assumed.”  
  
Sif stared at him and then laughed. “Loki…”  
  
“Terrible, I know. But true.” He slid a knife into his left boot and gestured for Sif to leave the room.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
When they landed in the desert outside the Tesseract’s facility, the wind briefly blew sand around them-- but it wasn’t enough to cloud their vision of the rapid deployment of armed humans. Sif exchanged a sardonic look with him and kept her hand away from her sword. Loki took one step forward when a light-skinned man in a suit and dark sunglasses came through the slight gap in the circle of armed guards all pointing their guns at them.  
  
Of course, none of them knew that the first thing Loki had done upon the Bifrost depositing them had been to raise a shield around Sif and him.  
  
The man took off his sunglasses. “Who are you and why are you here?”  
  
“I am Prince Loki of Asgard with my bodyguard Lady Sif. I am here to discuss the return of the Tesseract to Asgard.”  
  
“I am Agent Coulson.” He studied them. “We have a room for you to wait in while I discuss this with my superiors.”  
  
Loki and Sif followed him inside and into a small meeting room just inside the main building. None of the guards followed them into it, but Loki heard several of them take up posts in the hallway. Coulson said, “I’ll have someone bring you refreshments. In the meanwhile, I would like to know how you knew of the Tesseract and why you think Asgard has claim to it.”  
  
Loki leaned against the table, crossing his arms across his chest. “Heimdall can hear and see all. Underground is no more difficult for him than being in the same room would be for you or me. As for the claim: it is simple. If you continue experimenting with the Tesseract as you have been, you will open doors that should not be opened.”  
  
“Science--”  
  
“This isn’t science, Agent. It is a simple matter of interstellar politics. There are armies who think nothing of invading worlds weak enough that the populace cannot defend them. Earth is a protectorate of Asgard and we do not wish to see you fall.”  
  
Coulson did not visibly react, but Loki was beginning to suspect he was the sort of person that would remain unflappable on the surface unless something or someone provoked him to crack the mask. “How do we know you are not planning to invade yourself, that this is just one more weapon you would use against us?”  
  
Loki resisted the urge to sigh. Coulson would not know that he spoke to someone who could not lie. “The Tesseract is unique in the universe. What makes you think that you have not already attracted attention from those who would wish to make use of it? The Tesseract has a unique metaphysical signature.”  
  
Coulson frowned slightly. “You have the Bifrost. Why do you need this?”  
  
Loki did sigh then. “Asgard does not regard the Tesseract as a weapon. It is something to be stored away, unused, to prevent greater harm.” He rubbed his forehead. “Agent, I know you have no reason to believe me. But forces are moving in this galaxy and beyond that will gladly crush your world if it means they regain the Tesseract. Preparations for war mean nothing when all of space can be crossed in an instant at someone’s will.” He met Coulson’s eyes. In the Speech, he said, “ _I am here to warn you_.”  
  
“I understand that, Prince Loki. But this is not a decision I can make.”  
  
“Fine. Consult your superiors.” He pulled out the chair next to him. “We’ll wait.”  
  
Coulson left the room and not a minute later, another man dropped off a tray with a water pitcher and a plate of finger foods before leaving them. Sif poured herself a glass of water after Loki muttered a spell to ensure that the food and drink were neither poisoned nor incompatible with their physiology.  
  
She sat down next to him. “Well?”  
  
Loki glanced out the window at the desert spreading before them. “They won’t listen. They have every reason to distrust two people who appear out of nowhere, out of their myths and legends. They have no reason to believe that we are who we say we are.” He snorted. “And that doesn’t include the myths about the Power who shared a name with me. They won’t even believe that the myths are older than I am.”  
  
“The only reason they knew we aren’t human is how we arrived,” Sif said, running a finger through the condensation on her glass. “We don’t look alien enough to them.”  
  
Loki smiled. “That is another point in their distrust. We look  _too_  similar to them.”  
  
“What if this doesn’t work?”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows. “Negotiations between governments rarely are settled on the first meeting. You should know this by now.”  
  
“This is urgent enough that it needs to be.”  
  
“They don’t believe that. They quite literally do not have the information we do and they will not believe ours because they will not be able to validate it. They are children playing with fire.” Loki sighed and poured himself a glass of water.  
  
Four hours later, Coulson walked in. “The World Security Council has agreed to meet with you. However, this meeting will take place in Washington, D.C. in two days. We have a suite you may stay in--”  
  
“We will return to Asgard until the day of the meeting. We will meet you here.” Loki stood. “We appreciate your hospitality.”  
  
Coulson frowned, but led them out of the building, back into the heat of the day. Loki stepped into the middle of the Bifrost’s mark, Sif following him. “Heimdall!”  
  
Just before the Bifrost pulled them away from Earth, Loki saw Coulson frown at the beaten-up vehicle whose dust cloud was drifting to the ground after a skidding stop.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Sif again accompanied him to the compound, where they boarded a helicopter that took them a short distance to an airport, where they boarded a private jet with the organization’s logo emblazoned on it. Coulson was there, too, apparently having been appointed their guide.  
  
Looking out the plane’s window at they came to land in Washington, Loki was glad he hadn’t used the Bifrost to land at SHIELD’s headquarters. There were simply too many humans nearby who would panic at the to-them unexplainable sight.  
  
Once in SHIELD’s meeting room, Loki spread out his manual and used it to make a spread of displays that hovered above the table. The seven humans in the room crowded around as he explained them all in detail.  
  
But it still didn’t help the negotiations: the humans were reluctant to let the Tesseract out of their hands, though they tried to avoid saying why. Loki knew rather well they were making weapons from it, continuing the work done in their last world war. At dusk, after a lavish meal in a local restaurant, Loki and Sif returned to their hotel suite.  
  
Sif let down her hair from its braid and changed back into her armor from the dress she’d worn at dinner. “They won’t listen to you; they don’t want the weapons schematics that you offered--”  
  
“They trust themselves. This is too new and too frightening.” Loki looked out the window at the cars driving on the street below. “They have been alone for so long they forgot they weren’t. My negotiations will not help them overcome that. I am asking them to give up something they believe will give them security.” He dropped the curtain and turned to Sif. “They know by now the weapon schematics they saw and recorded with their security systems were necessarily incomplete. Tomorrow, we will try again and if that fails, we will return to Asgard.” He sank onto one of the armchairs. “We need to give them more information, though I will not give them complete schematics until they give us the Tesseract. But I do not know what will convince this Council to listen.”  
  
Sif frowned. “From you, it sounds hopeless.”  
  
Loki shook his head. “We need more time than what we have. From their perspective, they are creating an alliance with a governmental entity they know nothing about from a Realm they thought was myth. Until they realize their myths are not reality in this universe, that they are one culture’s version of the Choice, Fall, and Fight among the Powers, the negotiations will not succeed.” He rubbed his face. “I hate admitting that, Sif. I’ve prided myself on conducting negotiations among so many people, from that dispute with the two fruit sellers last year to between warring factions on Vanaheim last century, that to fail at this one…”  
  
Sif reached over and rubbed his arm. “Go to bed. A few hours’ sleep will help.”  
  
Loki gave her a look, but did as she suggested, hoping the thoughts whirling through his mind would slow down long enough for him to do so.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
“It’s been three months and they still have agreed to  _nothing_.” Loki spun and paced back to his door and then back to the couch where Ben perched on the top of it, with Sif properly sitting on it. “Something is going to happen to it soon.”  
  
Ben said, his face having the vague expression he had when consulting his version of the manual, “Um, Loki, something just did.”  
  
“What?” He grabbed his manual from his desk and flipped to the section where all his notes and strategies about the Tesseract were located-- and the borders of the page were red.  
  
He skimmed the details: an alien had used the Tesseract to create a portal, came through onto SHIELD’s base, used a staff with a glowing blue gem to put several SHIELD agents under mind control, and stolen the Tesseract. The base collapsed moments later, with several dozen people missing and presumed dead. SHIELD was currently reacting to the crisis and gathering a team to hunt for the Tesseract. They did not know where it was.  
  
Loki looked up from the summary and met Ben’s eyes. “The Tesseract’s signature can be tracked. We need to find it before SHIELD does.”  
  
Ben nodded. “It should be done on Earth; we could immediately teleport to the location before it has a chance to be moved.”  
  
Sif said, “I’m coming.”  
  
“Good,” Loki said. “I’m contacting Helga; I’m not bringing just the three of us. We need overwhelming numbers.”  
  


* * * * *

  
  
It took two more hours before the team of fifteen stood in front of the worldgate at the cafe. Helga stood to one side, watching them silently with a frown on her face. The gate went patent and they stepped through to the Crossings. The Stationmaster was waiting for them. “We have begun preparations to evacuate Earth, in case the worst happens.” His eyes stilled when they reached the gate for Grand Central. “Go well, cousins.”  
  
Loki nodded in thanks and stepped through the patent gate onto the dark train platform. He’d done his research and made sure that once they were out of the shielded area, none of them would be noticeable. Once the gate closed behind them, one of the wizards brought a wizard light into being. Loki looked at them, several of whom began laying out the group teleport spell. “Ben?”  
  
Ben began speaking the tracking spell, though he was fighting to get the last words out and gasped when he was done. “It doesn’t want to be found. Something tried to interfere.”  
  
Loki exchanged grim looks with Sif and some of the other wizards. “Or Someone. We’re going in ready for battle. Ben, put the coordinates in. We’ll handle the teleport.”  
  
He did so and everyone moved to their places in the spell, all of them facing outwards. Loki whispered the spell for the linear accelerator and raised his hand. When he dropped it, thirteen wizards began reading the spell. As the silence grew around them, Loki knew there was a good chance that at least one would not return.  
  
The teleport dropped them to one side of a large tunnel bustling with people. Having made sure that the normal bang of displaced air was silent, Loki gestured for them to spread out.  
  
From this distance, he could feel the Tesseract: it was practically a living being in its own right-- and it wanted to be used. When the alien holding the scepter turned his head and looked right at Loki, Loki reacted first, firing the accelerator and then dropping Sif’s and his invisibility. The being collapsed, having been shot in the head, and his scepter fell to the floor with a metallic clang. The actively in the room fell silent for an instant before gunshots began. Loki exchanged a grin with Ben and Sif before shouting, “In Life’s Name and for Its sake, I advise you that we are here on the business of the Powers That Be! Your actions toward us, and through us, toward Them, will determine the continuation or revocation of your present status. Be warned by me and desist!”  
  
In response, an arrow bounced off the shield Ben had raised.  
  
An arrow.  
  
One of the controlled SHIELD agents used a bow. Loki glanced at Sif. “Don’t kill the archer.”  
  
She grinned. “I can knock him unconscious, though.”  
  
Ben dropped the shield just long enough for her to leave it. Loki and Ben worked their way through the room, helping and being helped by the other wizards.  
  
The battle ended within minutes, several humans dead, a multitude of them injured (as well as one Asgardian), and the archer and the balding scientist were both unconscious and restrained.  
  
Loki let the spell for the accelerator lapse and walked over to them, crouching down. He swiped a hand through a sluggishly bleeding cut on his cheek, and touched the blood to the blossoming black eye on the archer.  
  
The healing spell made Loki see everything that the archer had experienced since the scepter overtook his mind: the fear, the sudden calm and sense of righteousness, and then the pain of Sif punching him hard enough for him to lose consciousness. When the spell ended, Loki lost his balance and toppled over. Sif caught him and helped him to sit.  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
She snorted. “You will be fine. Now stay put for a while. Everything is under control.”  
  
He smiled at her and then turned back to the archer, who stared at Loki and then around the room, his eyes no longer glowing blue. “What--?”  
  
“I think Sif hitting you in the head removed the mind control.”  
  
“Yeah, whatever. What happened here? And do you mind untying me?”  
  
Loki shrugged and untied the knots around him and Dr. Selvig, who had just been healed by another wizard. Agent Barton scrambled to his feet, looking frantically around the room, and Loki followed.  
  
“Where’s the Other?”  
  
“The who?”  
  
“The alien with the scepter.”  
  
“Dead.” Loki pointed to the body that no one had touched and the scepter that everyone was wise enough to leave alone.  
  
“Oh, good. Though I wouldn’t have minded putting an arrow through his eye socket myself.”  
  
Loki nodded and then walked to the curtained-off chamber where the Tesseract lay quietly in its case. Loki used the tongs laying nearby to put it in the container he’d pulled out from his otherspace pocket.  
  
He looked at it and shook his head before grabbing the handle and picking it up. He walked over to Sif, Clint a silent shadow at his side. “Give this to Odin.” He turned to look at Ben. “Ben, take the scepter.”  
  
By this point, the rest of the wizards had gathered into a group. Loki turned to them. “Thank you. You know what you did here. Go back to Asgard. Rest. Heal. And then give Helga your reports.”  
  
One of the wizards groaned, but they disappeared from the room after they’d read the spell to take them back to Grand Central. “Sif, Ben--”  
  
Ben smiled. “We’ll be careful.” He took the other end of the case and Sif twisted the handle, both of them disappearing in a streak of blue.  
  
Loki let out a deep breath and turned to Agent Barton and Dr. Selvig. “I’ll bring you to the helicarrier. I need to explain to Director Fury what occurred here.”  
  
“Helicarrier?” Selvig said. “And who the hell are you?”  
  
Clint shrugged. “It’s an aircraft carrier that flies.”  
  
Loki ignored Selvig’s boggled look and said, “I’m Loki Odinson, the wizard-prince of Asgard.” He gestured behind him at the bodies. “Will SHIELD be able to locate this place?”  
  
Clint said, “I know where we are. They won’t have problems. They’re not on good terms with these guys, anyway.” He shuddered. “Let’s get out of here.”  
  
“Is there a noticeable place to teleport to on the helicarrier?”  
  
“There’s always the flight deck, but I can’t guarantee it isn’t being used. Safest place is probably the bridge. There’s a large table in the center of it, but--”  
  
“We’ll land on the table.” So much for dignity, but at least it would make an entrance.  
  
“What?” Selvig said.  
  
Loki shrugged and pulled out his manual to retrieve the coordinates. “It’s visible. I’d rather not be accused of sneaking around places where I shouldn’t be, especially with two people are who presently thought by SHIELD to be under the control of an enemy. I suggest you both have your arms raised when I teleport us there.”  
  
“And they won’t shoot you?”  
  
Loki smiled at the doctor. “They’d better not. I’ve been negotiating with them for months for Asgard to receive the Tesseract in return for advanced weapons technology. They know who I am.”  
  
Loki flung the teleportation spell on the concrete floor and directed both men to stand where they needed to. One spoken spell later, they stood on top of a glass table in the middle of a rather large bridge, looking out a gray clouds through an absurdly large observation window.  
  
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at them. Loki slid down off the table, ignoring the guns pointed at them. “Good evening, Director. I solved a problem of yours.” Loki saw out of the corner of his eye Clint helping Selvig off the table. “They’re free of the mind control.”  
  
Fury snorted and gestured at the guards. “We’ll see that for ourselves. Take them to the secure rooms in the infirmary.”  
  
Clint allowed himself to be handcuffed, but Selvig struggled a little. Not that Loki could blame him, given his past day.  
  
Loki sat down without invitation and looked at the director. “The Tesseract is back on Asgard and will not be returned to Earth. The scepter is there as well.”  
  
Fury sat down. “What did you do, Odinson?” Loki explained. “So what the hell am I supposed to do now? Will you still give us the weapons technology?”  
  
“I see no reason not to. Earth remains a target even without the Tesseract. It was enough that it activated here.”  
  
“ _You_  get to explain that to the World Security Council.”  
  
Loki nodded. “Fair enough.”  
  
“You also get to explain to the scientists who I brought here to look for the Tesseract exactly why they’re no longer needed.”  
  
“As you wish, Director.”  
  
Agent Romanoff led him out of the bridge. “How is Clint?”  
  
Loki sighed. “Physically, he’s healed. Other than that, I cannot say. Mind control…”  
  
“I know.” The lab door slid open and they stepped inside. “Everyone, this is Prince Loki Odinson.”  
  
“ _Prince_  Loki?” a brown-haired, petite woman said. “Well, this is going to be interesting.” She stuck her hand out. “I’m Doctor Jane Foster.”  
  
Loki cautiously shook her hand. “My brother isn’t here, is he?”  
  
A woman with dark, wavy hair sitting on a stool said, “Yeah, he’s in the gym right now, trying not to break the equipment.” Loki stiffened slightly. “Dude, he doesn’t know you’re here. I’ll keep him away from you.” She hopped off her stool and left the lab.  
  
“That’s Darcy, my assistant,” Jane said. She turned away and picked up a pen, tapping it on a notebook. “Now, I know you have some experience with wormholes, so if you can help us--”  
  
“We’re not getting introductions?” A man with someone glowing in his chest underneath his shirt came around one of the screens hanging from the ceiling. “I’m Tony Stark. That’s Doctor Bruce Banner.”  
  
Loki nodded politely at both of them before moving to put his back against the wall. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving himself exposed with his brother around.  
  
“So what’s up with your brother?”  
  
“Tony,” Banner said.  
  
“Hey, it’s a fair question. Jane knows.”  
  
“Because I know Thor.”  
  
Loki sighed, studying the man. “Thor and I do not get along, to the point where he was exiled for attacking me.”  
  
“Oh. So, wormholes.”  
  
Loki sighed. “The Tesseract has been located and returned to Asgard.” The three of them stared at him and Loki saw Natasha quirk a smile. “You no longer need to worry about it or being invaded.”  
  
Jane ran a hand through her hair. “Here I was looking forward to being able to prove my hypothesis  _without_  having to create an entirely new paradigm. Damn it.” She looked at Loki and pointed her pen at him. “You know about worldgates and wormholes. I want you to look over my notes--”  
  
“Woah,” Banner said. “I know you two have some sort of connection that all of this means something to you, but what’s a worldgate?”  
  
“A wizarding or technological construct that allows travel between two worlds.”  
  
Banner and Stark stared at him. “Magic,” Stark said.  
  
The door slid open and Loki looked over nervously, but it wasn’t Thor. He turned back to Stark. “Wizardry. There’s a difference.”  
  
“Which is?”  
  
“Wizards fight the heat-death of the universe,” the newcomer said. “ _Dai stihó_. I’m Steve Rogers.”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows. “You’re a wizard.”  
  
Steve shook his head. “One of the Howling Commandos, Gabe, was. He taught me a little of the Speech.”  
  
Loki smiled and shook his hand. For Gabe to have trusted Steve that much on a  _sevarfrith_  world…  
  
“That didn’t explain anything,” Stark said.  
  
Loki sighed. “Wizards fight against entropy. It’s not magic; we don’t do spells without a price. It is wizardry-- and almost every sentient species in the universe has wizards. We protect life, Stark. And it’s not a common calling; you have to be  _offered_  the wizardry’s Oath. The Oath binds you for the rest of your life, whether or not you’re actively using wizardry at the time.”  
  
“That still doesn’t help,” Banner said. “Entropy is physics. It’s built into the universe--”  
  
Steve said, “It wasn’t originally meant to be there. There was supposed to be another form of energy management. But the Lone Power stepped in and ruined it.”  
  
“So he’s Morgoth.” Almost everyone in the room gave Tony bemused looks. “What? He’s the big bad in  _The Silmarillion_ ; he didn’t like what everyone else was doing so he tried to destroy it.”  
  
Loki rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Something like that.” He dropped his hand. “The Lone Power has incarnations, manifestations of His physical form. The version who sent His minion after the Tesseract literally fell in love with His creation. And He thinks that destroying the universe will have her love Him in return.”  
  
Natasha’s face was a little pale. “He’ll never be satisfied because death can never love him.”  
  
“Oh, god. A doorway through space in the hands of a genocidal--,” Banner said.  
  
“Precisely.”  
  
Jane’s phone beeped and she scrambled for it. “Shit. Darcy just texted me; she couldn’t keep Thor in the gym and they’re on their way here. She said she’ll take Loki to the mess hall or something.”  
  
He looked at Natasha. “I’ll come with. You did explain to them what happened.”  
  
“And confused us all in the process!” Stark said. “Wait. Except for you.” He pointed at Jane.  
  
Jane shrugged. “Thor’s from a planet where wizards don’t have to hide.”  
  
“How many wizards are here?” Banner said, looking at Steve.  
  
“I don’t know the exact number, but there’s over a million,” Loki said. Everyone in the room stared at him. “Just because they generally have to hide doesn’t mean they’re rare.”  
  
The door slid open again and Thor walked in, followed by Darcy. Loki felt the blood drain from his face and he slipped out the door before giving his brother time to do anything. Darcy and Natasha followed him.  
  
Natasha said quietly when they caught up to him, “It was more than an argument.”  
  
“He tried to kill me and would have succeeded had our father not intervened.” Loki nearly stumbled when his memory finally caught up with him. Thor had been in armor-- and Mjolnir was hanging on his belt. His brother  _had_  learned.  
  
Natasha glanced at Darcy. “Does Jane know this?”  
  
“Yeah. She’s not happy about it, but she knows he’s sincere in repentance. He wouldn’t have his hammer back otherwise.”  
  
“How long has he carried Mjolnir?”  
  
“About six hours. He didn’t want to try and fail again, so he hadn’t tested himself against it before.”  
  
Natasha said, “What’s so special about his hammer?”  
  
“Odin ensured that Thor wouldn’t be able to carry it without him relearning how to be a good king and brother.”  
  
“Yet you still don’t want to talk to him.” Loki nodded. “I don’t think it would be a good time now; you look like you’re about to fall over.”  
  
“Food will help. And I should talk to him eventually, if only for an explanation, but…”  
  
“Yeah, you should. Fear for courage and all that,” Darcy said.  
  
Loki did stumble then and caught himself on the wall. Natasha frowned. “Maybe you should sleep.”  
  
Loki half-smiled. “After I eat.”  
  
The three of them entered the mess hall, and though it was outside of ordinary meal times, there was still hot food available. Loki got noodles covered in a red sauce with chunks of meat in it and sat down at the table farthest from anyone else. Darcy slid onto the chair next to him and he looked at her. “Does Jane know you’re a wizard?”  
  
“Yup,” she said, twirling noodles around her fork. “She didn’t at first, but after we met Thor, it felt pointless keeping it from her when she learned the Bifrost and then worldgates existed. Before then, I thought wizardry would take the fun out of it for her. She couldn’t have used anything I told her because we don’t have a way to replicate on a technological level anything approaching what wizardry does. Now with the Bifrost and the data that survived the implosion, she has something.” Darcy scowled when Natasha sat down. “Not that she’s going to be able to publish anything.”  
  
Natasha said, “As long as she doesn’t use classified information-- which everything about the Tesseract is-- she’ll be clear.” Natasha’s lips quirked. “I think Stark will be more than willing to fund her given all of this.”  
  
“I hope so. I was sick of writing grants that would only get laughed at because people didn’t think anything of Jane’s research.”  
  
They ate in silence for a little bit, before Darcy said, “Thor needed an ass-kicking. The way he talked about things… He’s better now.” She tried to pick up a stray noodle with her fork. “When he learned I was a wizard, he told me you were one and that he’d sometimes treated that as if it meant that he didn’t have to worry about--” she waved her free hand around “--I don’t know, being a good person. I mean, it sounds like he always was, but his practically assured position as heir to the throne and being saturated in the ‘Asgard is the best and everyone else is inferior’ mentality made him just not think.”  
  
“That doesn’t explain his reaction when--”  
  
“You’ll have to talk to him,” Natasha said. “You don’t have to be friends or even close siblings. But you won’t receive the answers you’re looking for if you avoid him.”  
  
He knew that. But he also knew that the last time he’d seen his brother was him sitting on top of Loki with Mjolnir raised and ready to strike. He thought he’d come to peace with the thought of Thor learning and returning to Asgard.  
  
Apparently not.  
  
He forced himself to finish eating and then asked Natasha to show him where Fury has assigned a stateroom for him to sleep in.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
He woke the next morning feeling refreshed but no less worried. Thor could return to Asgard at any moment; he was no longer safe even there. But did he want humans overhearing something they did not fully understand?  
  
No, he didn’t.  
  
He returned to the mess hall for a quick breakfast and then spent several hours talking with the World Security Council via video conferencing. Upon leaving that room, he was all but ambushed by Darcy. “We’re leaving. So are Stark and Banner; they’re heading to Stark’s Tower in New York.”  
  
“What about Thor?”  
  
“He’s coming with us for now.” She smiled up at Loki. “Go well, cousin. I’ll message you through the manual when he’s ready to go back to Asgard.”  
  
“My thanks.”  
  
Loki bowed his head slightly and went to a clear area of the helicarrier to lay out the teleporting spell so he could take the Bifrost home. Heimdall said, “Welcome home. The All-father wishes to speak with you.”  
  
Loki nodded. “Loki.” He stopped and Heimdall came up to him. “I will not push you to converse with Thor. Explanations he may have, but they may not be worth the turmoil or the pain the possibility of talking to him causes.”  
  
“I know. But the explanation?” Loki snorted. “I became a wizard in part because of what I could learn. Not having them hurts. And that pain… The truth is never easy, Heimdall. Wizards know that better than most.”  
  
He trudged out of the observatory to the horse that was waiting for him on the bridge.  
  


* * * * *

  
  
Loki leaned against the stone balustrade overlooking Mother’s garden in one of the least-used public corridors of the palace. The orange flowers gleamed in the midday light, the sweet scent wafting upward on the gentle breeze. He turned his head slightly at the booted footsteps that came to a stop nearby. “What do you want, Thor?”  
  
Better to be caught here than all but trapped in his chambers.  
  
“To apologize. I have grievously wronged you, in a way that you may not ever forgive and you would be right not to,” he said-- in the  _Speech_.  
  
Loki turned to look at him then. His brother was dressed in casual clothing, clothes designed for relaxation, not the concealment of weapons. But that same casualness would allow him freedom of movement in a fight. Still, Mjolnir was nowhere in sight. “Where is Mjolnir?”  
  
“Father has it. I felt that this conversation would go better if I wasn’t carrying it. Was I right?”  
  
Loki turned back to the garden. “I don’t know, Thor. Learning enough of the Speech to apologize-- I assume Darcy taught you?”  
  
“She did.” He came to the railing as well, several feet away. “She also made it clear that you may not wish to talk to me and that I shouldn’t push for it.”  
  
“She was right.” Loki sighed and turned his head slightly to better see his brother. “I do not know how I feel, Thor. I love you and fear you now, both, at the same time. I find I can no longer trust you, no matter that you once again wield Mjolnir.”  
  
“I thought as much. I can only ask for your forgiveness, Loki. I cannot demand it.” Loki said nothing and Thor shifted on his feet. “Father told me some of what occurred here during my exile. He said I should ask you for details of your reign. What happened?”  
  
Loki snorted. “I nearly presided over a coup and a civil war.” Thor stared at him. Loki finally met his eyes. “People saw you attack me, rumors spread that I was acting to place myself above you, and then Father fell into the Odinsleep the night he exiled you. I was crowned regent the next morning. People saw that as proof that I conspired to take the throne, not least the Warriors Three.  
  
“I had to publicly swear in the Speech that I would give up the throne upon Odin’s awakening, Thor. It would have been blood in Asgard’s streets if I had not. Because no one would believe that Odin would allow a wizard to sit on the throne and that sometimes what appears to be a simple explanation is far more complicated.  
  
“I spent mere days on the throne. It was enough.”  
  
“Loki--”  
  
“Spare me the sentiment, Thor. You were a direct cause of it. The Warriors Three were wondering if it was possible to retrieve you and remove me.”  
  
“Sif?”  
  
Loki smiled. “Sif knows me. She was loyal.” He dropped the smile. “Treason, Thor. That’s what my taking my rightful, legal place on the throne nearly led to. All because the mighty Thor tried to kill me because I had finally managed to convince Odin that you were not fit to be king.”  
  
“I was angry--”  
  
“I noticed.”  
  
“Let me finish, Loki, please.” Thor took a deep breath. “I was angry, embarrassed, and betrayed. At what I felt was to be my moment of triumph, it was snatched from me. Odin did not hide who had given him the information that pushed him to that decision. I wish he would have.  
  
“Instead, I learned my own brother had deliberately recorded a private conversation for the express purpose of canceling my coronation. I felt I was ready. I felt that Asgard needed a warrior king. And I reacted as if you had literally stabbed me in the back.  
  
“I did not have the maturity or insight to realize that you were trying to do exactly what you said-- prevent a war-- nor that you did not intend for the cancellation to be permanent. You did your duty as both a prince of the Realm and as a wizard. Now, I cannot fault your behavior. Then, I thought it proved that wizards could not be trusted, that they would put their Oath above Asgard, that they would openly act against royal authority.”  
  
Thor took a deep breath, eyes watering. “I no longer saw you as my brother, Loki. I only saw an enemy.”  
  
Loki kept his voice deliberately even. “Those who have tried to kill me generally fall into two categories, Thor. One are the assassins who try to kill all of the royal family, those who take aim at a son to cause the most damage, and those who specifically think that my being a wizard makes me the weak one. The second are agents of the Lone Power, who hate me for obvious reasons. I  _never_  imagined that my own brother would attempt to murder me.  
  
“Two years is not long enough, Thor.” Loki pushed away from the balustrade. “I know you are repentant. But I cannot forgive you now. You need to earn it with more than words.”  
  
He strode away, taking the fastest route to his chambers, and wiped the tears from his eyes when he was safely inside.


	15. Epilogue: A Spell Always Works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end. Thank you for reading!

Loki paced the large common area in the royal wing; Ben, Úlfrun, Sif, and Thor sitting in the couches grouped around the firepit in the center of the room. Thor sat quietly, watching his brother circle the room.  
  
Sif finally said, “Loki, you brought us here. We need an explanation. You can’t pace forever.”  
  
Loki shook his head and stopped pacing, leaning on the back of the couch Ben and Úlfrun sat on. Loki met each of his friends’ eyes and finally his brother’s. “Earth knows that Thanos has taken an interest in it. I have no doubt that the disappearance of the Other, the scepter, and the Tesseract will have serious repercussions. He will either see Earth as a threat or He will see it as a fitting place to begin His work.”  
  
Ben said, “If He has any information on what you were trying to negotiate with SHIELD, He also knows Asgard helped.”  
  
Loki nodded. “He also can guess that we have the Tesseract now-- and the scepter.” Loki sighed. “I believe the scepter may conceal another Stone. However, I am not the one researching it. Helga has taken that upon herself.  
  
“Thor, you know Earth the best. You have friends there, and allies. Work with their wizards if you can. I’ll have Helga make you an appointment with Earth’s Planetary, though I know Helga has her own plans to make with her and other Planetaries.”  
  
“Is there anything else you need me to do?” Thor said quietly.  
  
Loki studied him. For the past month, he’d gone out of his way to never impede Loki’s direct path to a door. He’d respected Loki’s silences and hadn’t pushed for more than Loki was willing to give. Maybe it was time to give his brother a little beyond bare necessities. “I will let you know if there is,” Loki finally said.  
  
Thor nodded.  
  
“Sif, I need you to go with Thor as often as possible. We need more than one point of contact with Earth’s governments. While you are not on Earth, I need you to bash as much as you can into getting Asgard’s armies that alliances will be needed with traditional enemies. That goes for Thor and the rest of you-- if you can convince people of a multitude of backgrounds that this a serious threat, not a child’s storybook tale, then we will have an advantage.”  
  
Loki took a deep breath and stared at the flickering fire. “My main task will lie in convincing the worlds outside of the Nine Realms who have connections to Asgard, as well as the other Realms, to unite. Wizards have our own network that Helga and I will be using, but there are places that are best visited in person.”  
  
“You’re going to Jotunheim, aren’t you?” Ben said.  
  
Loki nodded. “We need the Jotuns on our side.”  
  
“How do you intend to achieve that? Laufey hates you.”  
  
Loki took in a deep breath. “I intend to give them the Casket if they support us. If we show that we cannot trust them by not returning it, then they will never truly be allies.”  
  
Sif frowned. “Make it a condition of their help, that if they help us defeat Him, then we will return it.”  
  
Loki sighed. “It’s an option. But it’s the less attractive one to me.”  
  
Sif shook her head. “Wizards.” But she said it fondly.  
  
Thor said, “You once told me that you would never return to Jotunheim. Odin--”  
  
“I have to. It isn’t entirely giving in to fear when it’s acknowledging that diplomacy, Laufey, and I may not coexist in the same place. However, Odin may be king, but this is my effort: he has given me the full weight of his authority to conduct these negotiations.” He rubbed his forehead. “Thor, he’s  _old_. His main focus has to be on preparing Asgard. I don’t think he has the strength for much more. He’s relying on us now.”  
  
Thor nodded. “Returning from two years in exile made me see how much he relied upon my taking the throne. That day may come sooner than either of us would now wish; I believe Father knows better than to lead Asgard into a war against Him. Father will fall and war is no time for a change of leadership.”  
  
“I’m glad you realize that.” Loki sighed. “Does anyone have any suggestions?”  
  
Úlfrun said, “How much time do we have?”  
  
Loki closed his eyes. “I don’t know. Years, if we’re fortunate. Months or days if we aren’t. Our one advantage at this point is that we have one Stone, may have a second, and we have a Gauntlet. These are things Thanos does not have.” He paused. “I  _hope_  He does not have. At the very least, that we have the Tesseract limits His movements. We also know that He is actively hunting for the Stones, so we know he does not have all of them. The Tesseract made sense as a second goal: with it, he could go to wherever the next Stone is and no one would be able to stop him. He is no longer capable of working in secrecy. The universe is beginning to arm itself against him. We have a chance.”  
  
“It might not be enough,” Ben said.  
  
Loki nodded. “I know. But the effort will be worth it. My Oath said ‘until Universe’s end.’” He stared fiercely at his friends. “I refuse to let that end happen while I live, and if I die in that battle, I will die knowing I have done my best to fulfill my Oath to the utmost. I will  _not_  let Thanos win.”


End file.
